Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday March 25, 2014.  

 
THE SECRET BOX
A preacher was told by his doctor that he had only a few weeks left to live.
He went home feeling very sad, and when his wife heard the sad news she said to him, “Honey,
if there’s anything I can do to make you happy, tell me.”
The preacher answered, “You know, dear, there’s that box in the kitchen cabinet with what you always called “your little secret” in it and you said you never would want me to open it as long as you lived. Now that I’m about to go home to be with the Lord, why don’t you show me what’s in that secret box of yours?”
The preacher’s wife got out the box and opened the lid.
It contained $10,000 and three eggs.
“What are those eggs doing in the box?” the preacher asked. “Well, Honey,” she replied, “every time your sermon was really bad I put an egg in the box.
Now the preacher had been preaching for over forty years, and seeing only three eggs in that old shoe box, he started to feel very proud about himself and it warmed his soul.
“And what about that $10,000?”” he asked.
“Oh, you see,” she whispered softly, “every time there were a dozen eggs in the box, I . . . ummm . . . sold them . . . and put a dollar in the box.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“The standoff in Ukraine keeps getting worse. But a new poll shows Vladimir Putin’s approval rating has actually gone up 10 percent since he sent troops into Crimea. When he heard that, Obama just shrugged and sent troops to invade Canada.” –Jimmy Fallon
“It seems like everybody’s weighing in on the situation. In fact, Senator John McCain has released a list of 11 steps he thinks the White House should take to punish Russia. Usually when McCain takes 11 steps, he uses a stair lift.” –Jimmy Fallon
“Lawmakers here in New York are considering a plan to bring slot machines to LaGuardia Airport. Of course there’s always that other way to gamble at LaGuardia – checking a bag.” –Jimmy Fallon
“This morning police released detailed descriptions of the video that reportedly shows Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack. If they don’t elect him mayor again, I want him to move out here. He could do a reality show – ‘Here Comes Mayor Boo-Boo.'” –Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
 “Alright! I’ll drive them to the field trip tomorrow!” Sighed my neighbor resignedly. Sure enough the next day found her with a van full of  7 to 10 year olds. Clearly distracted, my neighbor  cruised right through a stop sign, “Don’t you know how to stop?” Screamed the exasperated crossing guard, running towards the car. My neighbor stopped her car, looked the crossing guard straight in the eye and said clearly upset, “what makes you think they are all mine?!”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 
What movie is this quote from???  ‘He confided in me before he ran out of breath.’
 
Answer: The Crow! Brandon Lee as Eric Draven – after exacting revenge on Tin-Tin. 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from???  ‘Why couldn’t you ‘a just put the bunny back in the box?’
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
What are your answers to the respective questions so that your answers to all the questions are correct?
Question 1
The answer to Question 2 is:
A. B
B. C
C. A
 
Question 2 
The first question with correct answer B is:
A. Question 3
B. Question 1
C. Question 2
 
Question 3 
The only answer you have not chosen yet is:
A. A
B. B
C. C
ANSWER:  Question 1: C
Question 2: A
Question 3: B
 
Just go through the answers to Question 1:
The answer can’t be “A” because then the answer to question 2 would say that the answer to Question 1 was really “B”.
The answer to Question 1 can’t be “B” either, because then question 2 would state that its own answer is “B”, when it would have to be “C”.
This leaves “C” for Question 1 and “A” for Question 2.
Question 3 must then have an answer of “B”.
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
The following are alternate definitions for words, based on how the words sound. For example, “To drive by the docks: P _ _ _ _ _ _ _.” would result in “PASSPORT (Pass Port)”. Can you guess the words described below?
 
1. What white bears see with: P _ _ _ _ _ _ _. 
2. A car’s memoirs: A _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. 
3. How judges get to a small island: C _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. 
4. To live long: D _ _ _ _ _. 
5. How good a fibber one is: L _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. 
6. In favor of young men and women: P _ _ _ _ _ _.
  

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 

 

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