I changed my I Pod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now .
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst .
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran .
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time .
How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me .
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore .
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down .
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Why were the Indians here first ? They had reservations .
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz .
Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me .
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils ?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble .
What does a clock do when it’s hungry ? It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me !
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary ?
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx .
All the toilets in New York ‘s police stations have been stolen . Police have nothing to go on.