PUNS for Hump Day..
1. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
2. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. Cat puns freak meowt. Seriously, I’m not kitten!
5. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
6. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
7. Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “PUSH”.
8. Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
9. I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.
10. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
11. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, “where the heck is the ceiling?!”
12. Why is an alarm clock going “off” when it actually turns on?
13. Anyone who says “nothing is impossible” has obviously never tried to staple jello to a tree.
14. He was as confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar.
15. Success is not about who you know, rather who knows you.
16. Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness? There are nomad people there.
17. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
18. Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
19. The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government’s fault.
20. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!