Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday March 7, 2014.  

 
YOU know you are addicted to coffee if…
 
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
 
You sleep with your eyes open.
 
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
 
The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
 
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
 
You’ve worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
 
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
 
You chew on other people’s fingernails.
 
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
 
You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
 
You can jump-start your car without cables.
 
You don’t sweat, you percolate.
 
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
 
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
 
You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
 
Instant coffee takes too long.
 
You channel surf faster without a remote.
 
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
 
You short out motion detectors.
 
You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
 
You help your dog chase its tail.
 
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
 
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
 
You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked. 
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful weekend people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Because of Russia’s actions in Ukraine, President Obama is threatening them with economic sanctions. Obama said if Russia doesn’t pull out of Kiev we’re not going to let them borrow any of the money that we borrowed from China.” –Conan O’Brien
“Vladimir Putin, while all this is going on, has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. People were shocked until they found out that the head of the nominating committee was Kim Jong Un.” –Conan O’Brien
“After hearing that he has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, Putin said, ‘Tell me who the other nominees are — and I will eliminate them.'” –Conan O’Brien
“Russia is denying that they censored Jared Leto’s Oscar acceptance speech. Russia said they would never disrespect such a pretty girl.” –Conan O’Brien
“Vladimir Putin says that the Russian troops did not invade Crimea. Really? Well, what are those guys, mall cops?” –David Letterman
“Putin doesn’t know what the troops are doing there. And he has no exit strategy. He got that from us.” –David Letterman
“This situation in Ukraine is very serious. As a matter of fact, today George Clooney and Matt Damon flew in to rescue the artwork.” –David Letterman
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
 This is a story about four people: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was this important job to be done and everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure that somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was everybody’s job. Everybody thought that anybody could do it, but nobody realized that everybody wouldn’t do it.
It ended up that everybody blamed somebody when actually nobody asked anybody.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  I loved a writer and gave up the prize for a sonnet.’
 
Answer: Shakespeare in Love!  Julia Roberts was originally set to play the part of Viola. Good thing for 
Gwyneth Paltrow she changed her mind! 
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I’m forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me, which – while I do appreciate it – I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.’
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
I saw the happy pair pass by,
Newly wed midst joy and acclamation,
One simple English word thought I,
Exactly summed the situation.
But years have passed and love is slain,
And now they go divergent ways,
For they have been divorced. 
Again, one word quite fits the case.
The second word is like the first,
Two central letters just reversed. 
 
ANSWER: UNITED-UNTIED.
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
In each of the following words, three letters, indicated by *’s, are missing. Each missing triplet is the name of an animal. Can you fill them in so that each creates a common word?
 
EDU***ION
PRE***SOR
BR***RY
PY***ID
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 

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