Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

boyfriend-pillow-funny-picture

WELCOME to Tuesday March 4, 2014.  

English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The “friends and survivors” of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors and posted them on their web site: 
 
“He swept the rug under the carpet.”
“She’s burning the midnight oil at both ends.”
“It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire.”
“It’s time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard.”
“She’s robbing Peter to pay the piper.”
“He’s up a tree without a paddle.”
“Beware my friend…you are skating on hot water.”
“Keep your ear to the grindstone.”
“Sometimes you’ve gotta stick your neck out on a limb.”
“Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter.” 
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
 “A new survey named Vienna, Austria, the world’s best city. Vienna came out on top because it was No. 1 in three important categories: public transportation, clean air, and the quantity of teeny-tiny sausages.” -Craig Ferguson
“This weekend is George Washington’s birthday. Washington had probably the hardest job of any other president because he had no predecessor to blame things on. He was out there all on his own.” -Dave Letterman
“The number of shark attacks around the world increased by 25 percent. With the economy like it is, more and more sharks are turning to crime.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway.
“You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday,” he said. “I realized I’ve been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  ‘I can’t play Pooh to your Christopher Robin.’
 
Answer: Beautiful Girls! Spoken by Willie, played by Timothy Hutton, to Natalie Portman’s character, who lives next door. 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  ‘I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde I could be dead three hours earlier.’
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Find all ten words described below. 
The first word you’ll need 
is a tool used to snare.
Reverse and add one:
a dwelling filled with fresh air.
 
Append the letter H
to find a metric sort of part.
Now change N to E to get
a smile, at its heart.
 
Tack on an ‘I N G’
to make a baby’s cross to bear.
Remove the center two
and find a golfer’s action there.
 
Add an S and drop the E’s:
A painful bite you’ll see.
Add one to the end: you will make
penny-pinching, miserly.
 
Put first 2 and last 2 out the door,
What’s left is really cool.
Only keep the first half of that
And now you find the fool.
 
ANSWER:  NET (a tool used to snare)
TENT (a dwelling filled with fresh air)
TENTH (a metric sort of part)
TEETH (a smile, at its heart)
TEETHING (what a baby suffers from — its “cross to bear”)
TEEING (a golfer’s action)
STING (A painful bite)
STINGY (penny-pinching, miserly)
IN (really cool — i.e. the “in” thing)
I (I am the fool, after all. Or does it refer to you? 😀 )
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Once, there was a lovesick tiger who fell in love with a lovely lioness. However, her pride rejected him, and they were not allowed to be together because he was different. 
 
Heart sickness and grief caused the lovely lioness to lose all of her fur. Even though it was a sad sight, the tiger was overjoyed! Now he would shave off all of his fur. Then he could pretend to be a large lion and be with his beloved.
 
Unfortunately, they did not get to live happily ever after! His plan failed. Even with his fur gone, everyone could tell he was a tiger.
 
Ignoring any obvious size differences, how did the pride know that he was obviously still a tiger?
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 
 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s