2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
5. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
6. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
7. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
8. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
9. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
10. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
11. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
12. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
13. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
14. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
15. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
16. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
17. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
18. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
19. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
20. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do,