Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday February 13, 2014.  

More Puns for Thursday……
 
26. There was a ghost at the hotel, so they called for an inn spectre.
27. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
28. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large
29. Some Spanish government employees are Seville servants.
30. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
31. Show me someone in denial and I’ll show you a person in Egypt up to their ankles.
32. Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
33. When cannibals ate a missionary they got a taste of religion.
34. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
35. He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
36. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
37. Driving on so many turnpikes was taking its toll.
38. To some – marriage is a word … to others – a sentence.
39. Old lawyers never die they just lose their appeal.
40. In democracy its your vote that counts. In feudalism its your count that votes.
41. Atheism is a non-prophet organization
42. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
43. Old skiers never die — they just go down hill.
44. A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.
45. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
46. When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.
47. An office with many people and few electrical outlets could be in for a power struggle.
48. How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.
49. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.
50. A pediatrician is a doctor of little patients.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.”
— Carl Reiner
“This is like deja vu all over again.”
— Yogi Berra
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?'”
“But why?” asks the man.
“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  ‘You know what this is? It’s the smallest violin in the world, playing *just* for the waitresses.’
 
Answer: Reservoir Dogs! Deep into his explanation of why he refuses to tip, Mr. Pink (Steve Buscemi) doesn’t find Mr. White’s (Harvey Keitel) respect and sympathy for waitresses very compelling. He rubs his thumb and index finger together and delivers the above quote.
 
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  ‘You know, in a parallel universe, I’ll bet we’re a scorching couple.’
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Fill in the middle word. This word should correspond with the first and last word.
 
1) Red ________________ Bulb
2) Green ______________ Leaf
3) Blue _______________ Ball
4) Silver ______________ Saver
5) Gold _______________ Shaft
6) White ______________ Smart
7) Black ______________ Brain
8) Orange _____________ Pouch
9) Peach ______________ Top
10) Brown _____________ Cookie
 
 
ANSWER: 1) Light  2) Tea  3) Cheese  4) Screen  5) Mine  6) Out
7) Bird  8) Juice  9) Tree  10) Sugar  
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
 The groom said, “Pack your bikini, Darling. I’m taking you to the tallest mountain in the world, and you’ll need it for the nearby beaches.”
 
Where was he taking Darling?

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 
 
 

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