Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

funny-engineer-candle-water-shower

WELCOME to Friday January 31, 2014.  

Examples of creativity provided by a 6th grade class during history tests: 
1. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple.
2. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. Emoji
3. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were to 2 singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, “a horse divided against itself can not stand.” Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
4. Abraham Lincoln was America’s greatest precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation . On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in the moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a suposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.
5. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.
6. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Don’t make the same mistake twice seems to indicate three mistakes, doesn’t it? First you make the mistake. Then you make the same mistake. Then you make the same mistake twice. If you simply say, ‘Don’t make the same mistake,’ you’ll avoid the first mistake, won’t you?” –George Carlin
When we decided to sell our house, we nailed “FOR SALE BY OWNER” signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long, the doorbell rang. “How much do you want for the trees?” a young man asked.
A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. “Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?”  “I’ve got a kickstand,” the prospect replied. “Is that the same thing?”
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
In a small business office they have an answering machine that instructs callers to leave their name and address, and to spell any difficult words.
Early one Monday the secretary was reviewing the weekend messages and she heard an enthusiastic young woman recite her name and address and then confidently offer, “My difficult word is reconciliation. R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  ‘I do not like assassins…or men of low character.’
 
Answer:  Unforgiven! Sheriff ‘Little’ Bill Daggett (Gene Hackman) explains this point to biographer W.W. Beauchamp (Saul Rubinek). 
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘You know how good he is? He is better at this than I have ever been at anything in my life. He’s better at this than you will *ever* be at anything in your life.’
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
When NASA was considering animals to experiment on in space, they picked birds, because of the low maintenance. Although NASA was aware that most birds require gravity to swallow and would not survive the weightlessness of space, they did manage to find two types of bird that would survive the trip. 
Which birds were they? 
 
ANSWER: Doves and Pigeons. 
Since most birds swallow water by tilting their heads back and using gravity to let the water run down their throats, they would dehydrate in space. Doves and Pigeons are the only birds that can drink without tilting their heads back. 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
In each sentence below, two words are incomplete. The two words end in the same three letters, so they look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each sentence.
Example: One symptom of bronchitis is a ro___ co___. (The two words are: rough & cough.)
 
1. When God speaks, it is a w___ from the L___.
2 After the fl___, Noah disembarked and st___ on Mount Ararat.
3. If it doesn’t rain today, I will wa___ the garden la___.
4. He was so___ to wo___ his family by arriving home late.
  

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 
 
 

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