Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

puns-darth-vader-elevader

WELCOME to Friday January 17, 2014.  

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand…Emoji
 
Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves.
 
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
 
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
 
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
 
Make service your first priority, not success and success will follow.
 
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
 
Nature never deceives us; it is we who deceive ourselves.
 
If you don’t believe in something, you’ll fall for anything.
 
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
 
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
 
The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.
 
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
 
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
 
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Business analysts say that McDonald’s is doing really well lately because Americans have to spend more money on gas so they’re going to McDonalds rather than more expensive restaurants. So basically, as Americans have to spend more for oil they’re looking to pay less for grease.” –Jay Leno
“A Japanese company bought the Jim Beam whiskey distillery for $16 billion. This morning the Japanese company woke up in an alley and said, ‘I did what?'” -Conan O’Brien
“There are reports that French President Francois Hollande had an affair with an actress who is 18 years younger than him. It’s pretty serious. Under French law, he could face up to 30 high fives.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
 Showing his friend around his home, Fred started to point out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage.
“The day before I die, I’d like to sell every piece we’ve got just to see how much it’s all worth.”
“But you couldn’t possibly know the day before you were going to die, so how could you sell it.”
“Simple… If I sell it, my wife would kill me!”
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???   ‘I hate Illinois Nazis.’
 
Answer:  Blues Brothers! Spoken just before Jake (John Belushi) and Elwood (Dan Aykroyd) disrupt a neo-Nazi demonstration on a bridge in a Chicago suburb.  
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  ‘Do you believe in pre-marital sax?’
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Aliens miniaturize you and place you on a fresh Cheerio floating on milk. You are a few millimeters away from another Cheerio. They give you the option of taking them up on a challenge: “We will give you $1 million if your Cheerio does not touch the other Cheerio; otherwise we will remove your hand.” Do you accept the challenge? 
 
ANSWER: Do not take the risk. Milk rises between two nearby Cheerios by capillary action. The surface tension of the milk has a horizontal component that will pull your Cheerio to the other one like an irresistible magnet (try the experiment in the safety of your own cereal bowl.)
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher this phrase:
 
1) Rib 
2) Rib <—
3) Rib <—
4) Rib 
5) Rib <—
6) Rib 
7) Rib <—

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 

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