Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday January 14, 2014.  

The Kangaroo Thief
THESE TWO guys my friend knows work for Chase Bank. Every year they go to Australia for a big, bank-sponsored golf tournament. This past year, these guys and their team won the entire tournament and went on to drink lots of beers and celebrate while wearing their newly-won green tournament jackets.
After drinking up a storm, they plopped into their rented car and were driving on deserted roads nearby when they accidentally hit a large kangaroo. Getting out of the car, they realized that the kangaroo had died in the accident.
Being so drunk, though, they propped up the kangaroo, its lifeless head bouncing from one side to the other, dressed it in one of their new green jackets, and took pictures of themselves with their arms around it.
After a few minutes of picture-taking, the guys were shocked when it seemed that the kangaroo came back to life! It turns out that the poor kangaroo wasn’t dead, but it had passed out, and when it came back to consciousness started to box with the drunken guys! It actually broke one guy’s jaw!! It then hopped away into the landscape.
The men couldn’t drive their rented car, as the keys were in the green jacket, which was still on the kangaroo, so they had to walk back to the tournament. A little while later, a pack of kangaroos was seen in the distance, one of them wearing the green jacket.  
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
Eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
– Mark Twain
Give me a dozen heartbreaks…if you think it would help me lose one pound.
– Colette
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
– Erma Bombeck
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
– George Bernard Shaw
A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.
– Hermione Gingold
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice.
The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days. This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds.
The blonde follows the doctor`s advice and after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she`d indeed lost twenty pounds.
She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question, “How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?”
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  ‘Of course you’re confused — you’re wearing my underwear.’
 
Answer: Just One of the Guys! Terry (Joyce Hyser) has embarked upon a mission to pass herself off as a boy at a new school in order to write an award-winning article. This line, spoken by her brother Buddy (Billy Jayne) addresses Terry’s general confusion after she falls in love with a boy at said school. 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  ‘If you overcook it, it’s no good. It defeats its own purpose.’
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
You have two very hungry termites and two sticks of wood. One stick of wood is 12 inches long and the other is 16 inches long. One termite can eat sticks at the rate of 1 inch every 3 minutes. The other termite can eat 1 inch in 4 minutes. How would you use the termites and sticks to measure 61 minutes? 
ANSWER: Start the slow termite eating the longer stick. It will take the slow termite 16 minutes to eat the 4 inches that will make the sticks the same size. When the sticks are the same size, start the fast termite on the other stick. This termite will finish his 12 inch stick in 36 minutes. That’s 52 minutes elapsed so far and the slow termite still has 3 inches left on his stick. Remove the slow termite and let the fast termite finish off the 3 inches in 9 minutes for a total of 61 minutes.
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
You are enjoying your breakfast after having put some salt on your scrambled eggs when your nerdy brother presents you with an ice cube floating in a glass of water and a short length of string. He challenges you to remove the ice cube from the glass using the string without tying any knots. What strategy do you use to remove the ice cube from the water glass?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji


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