WELCOME to Friday December 20, 2013.
“Yes” = No
“No” = Yes
“Maybe” = No
“I’m sorry” = You’ll be sorry
“We need” = I want
“It’s your decision” = The correct decision should be obvious by now
“Sure… go ahead” = I don’t want you to
“I’m not upset” = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
“We need to talk” = I need to complain
“This kitchen is so inconvenient” = I want a new house
“I want new curtains” = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…
“I heard a noise” = I noticed you were almost asleep
“Do you love me?” = I’m going to ask for something expensive
“How much do you love me?” = I did something today you’re really not going to like
“I’ll be ready in a minute” = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
“You have to learn to communicate” = Just agree with me
“Are you listening to me!?” = [Too late, you’re dead]
“Do what you want.” = You’ll pay for this later
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a
great weekend, and whatever you do, don’t forget to
LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
We are ne’er like angels till our passion dies.
The love we give away is the only love we keep.
You don’t take a photograph, you make it.
The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A newlywed sailor is informed by the navy that he’s going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the South Pacific for 2 years. A few weeks after he gets there he really starts to miss his new wife, so he writes her a letter.
“My darling,” he writes, “it looks like we’re going to be apart for a very long time. Already I’m starting to miss you and we’re constantly surrounded by young, attractive native girls. The temptation’s terrible. I need some kind of hobby to keep my mind off them.”
His wife sends him back a harmonica with a note reading, “Why don’t you learn to play this?”
Eventually his tour of duty comes to an end and he rushes back to his wife.
“Darling” he says, “I can’t wait to get you into bed so that we can make passionate love!”
But she stops him with a wave of her hand. “First, let’s see how well you play that harmonica.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘On the page, it looked–nothing; the beginning–simple, almost comical. Just a pulse, bassoon, basset horn, like a rusty squeeze box. And then, suddenly, high above it, an oboe, a single note, hanging there unwavering, until a clarinet took it over, sweetened it into a phrase of such delight. This was no composition by a performing monkey.’
Answer: ‘Amadeus’ Salieri telling his life story to the Priest.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘You know you don’t recognize the most significant moments of your life when they happen. You think there’ll be other days. I didn’t realize that this was the only day.’
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is represented below?
HEA wooden stick VEN
HEA wooden stick + sulphur head VEN
HEA wooden stick + sulphur head + phosphorus tip VEN
ANSWER: A Match made in Heaven!
A match (wooden stick + sulphur head + phosphorus tip, which are the components of matches) is being made in HEAVEN
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
A worker is to perform work for you for seven straight days. In return for his work, you will pay him 1/7th of a bar of gold per day. The worker requires a daily payment of 1/7th of the bar of gold. What and where are the fewest number of cuts to the bar of gold that will allow you to pay him 1/7th each day?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,