Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday December 19, 2013.  

“Twelve of the Most Terrifying Things to Hear”
1. The dentist says: “This won’t hurt a bit.”
2. The IRS announces: “We are simplifying the tax forms.”
3. Your lawyer says: “This is an air-tight case– you can’t lose.”
4. Your stock broker says: “This little drop in the market is just a minor correction.”
5. Your physician says: “You’re in great shape–you’ll live to be 100!”
6. Your business partner says: “Nothing can possibly go wrong.”
7. Your best friend says: “Trust me–I’ll never tell a soul.”
8. The directions on a do-it-yourself kit say: “Even a child can do it.”
9. Your colleagues say: “We’re behind you 100%–we’ll back you up.”
10. Someone giving you directions says:”You can’t miss it.”
11. The airline pilot announces: “Just a bit of turbulence folks– nothing to worry about.”
12. A voice on the telephone says: “Congratulations!You’re an instant winner!”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a
great Thursday, and whatever you do, don’t forget to
LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much.
William Hazlitt
Love is blind.
Geoffrey Chaucer
Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable.
George Bernard Shaw
Let us permit nature to have her way. She understands her business better than we do.
Michel de Montaigne
In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.
Lenny Bruce
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled
it over to the telephone.
He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits.
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation: The boy asked, “Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? The woman replied, “I already have someone to cut my lawn.
Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your
lawn now.” replied boy.
The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.
The little boy found more perseverance and offered, “Lady, I’ll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach, Florida. Again the woman answered in the negative.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.
The store-owner, who was listening to all, walked over to the boy and
said, “Son… I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like
to offer you a job.
The little boy replied, “No thanks, I was just checking my performance
with the job I already have.
I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???   ‘They walked, with heads up, without music, or cheering, or any hope of escape from injury or death. It went on and on. Women carry the wounded bodies from the ditch until they dropped from exhaustion. But still it went on. Whatever moral ascendance the West held was lost today.’
 
Answer:  ‘Gandhi’ The newspaperman Walker, played by Martin Sheen, is phoning in his story on the demonstration at the Dharasana Salt Works.     
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  ‘On the page, it looked–nothing; the beginning–simple, almost comical. Just a pulse, bassoon, basset horn, like a rusty squeeze box. And then, suddenly, high above it, an oboe, a single note, hanging there unwavering, until a clarinet took it over, sweetened it into a phrase of such delight. This was no composition by a performing monkey.’
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
 In this teaser, you have to find the odd ones out in the groups of words. BUT WAIT! There’s a catch. Each group of words has TWO words which do not belong. Can you find them both?
 
EXAMPLE: 
 
Lily – Jane – Tulip – Rose
 
Jane does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a flower.
 
Tulip also does not belong because it’s the only one which is not a girl’s name.
 
You’re on your own for the rest!
 
1. Dodge – Ford – Lincoln – Hoover
 
2. King – Earl – Knight – Bishop
 
3. Yellow – Green – Dead – Black
 
 
ANSWER: 1. Hoover does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a car manufacturer. Dodge does not belong as it’s the only one which is not the last name of a President of USA.
 
2. Bishop does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a class of nobility. Earl does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a Chess piece.
 
3. Dead does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a color. Green does not belong as it’s the only one which is not the name of a sea.
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is represented below?
 
HEA wooden stick VEN
 
HEA wooden stick + sulphur head VEN
 
HEA wooden stick + sulphur head + phosphorus tip VEN
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
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