Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday December 12, 2013.  

A Story Full of Morals…
A teacher told her young class to ask their parents
For a family story with a moral at the end of it, and
To return the next day to tell their stories.
In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example
First, ” My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One
Day we were taking lots of eggs to market in a basket
On the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump
In the road; the basket fell off the seat and all the
Eggs broke. The moral of the story is not to put all
Your eggs in one basket..”  ” Very good,” said the teacher.
Next, Mary said, ” We are farmers too. We had twenty
Eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got
Ten chicks. The moral of this story is not to count
Your chickens before they’re hatched ..”
” Very good,” said the teacher again, very pleased with
The response so far.
Next it was Barney’s turn to tell his story: ” My dad
Told me this story about my Aunt Karen…. Aunt Karen
Was a flight engineer in the war and her plane got
Hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all
She had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a
Machete.”  ” Go on,” said the teacher, intrigued.
” Aunt Karen drank the whiskey on the way down to
Prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle
Of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of
Them with the machine gun until she ran out of
Bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete
Till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten
With her bare hands.”  ” Good heavens,” said the horrified
teacher, ” What did Your father say was the moral of that
frightening Story?”
” Stay away from Aunt Karen when she’s been
Drinking…”  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a
wonderful Thursday, and whatever you do, don’t forget to
LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“New documents leaked by Edward Snowden show that the NSA actually spied on people while they played the video game World of Warcraft. I don’t know C to me it sounds like some NSA agents had to think quick when they got caught playing World of Warcraft at work.” –Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama released a video this week to encourage kids to learn how to write computer code. Then he said, ‘Preferably, in the next two or three weeks. It would really help me out of a jam.'” –Jimmy Fallon
“The world said goodbye today to Nelson Mandela. And what a life he lived. He spent 27 years in prison and then ascended to become president of his country. He went from prison to politics. It was exactly the opposite of how we do it in this country.” –Jay Leno
“Kanye West said he wants to be the ‘Obama of clothing.’ To achieve his goal, he’s designing fashions that nobody wants and offering them on a website that doesn’t work.” –Jay Leno
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman,
“I would like To buy a pair of pink curtains”. The salesman assures
her that they have a large election of pink curtains. He shows her
several patterns, but the blonde seems to be having a hard time
choosing. Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs. The blonde promptly
replies, “fifteen inches” “Fifteen inches???” asked the salesman. “That
sounds very small, what room are they for?” The blonde tells him that
they aren’t for a room; they are for her computer monitor. The
surprised salesman replies, “but Miss, computers do not need curtains!”
The blonde says, “Hellllooooooooo ………… . I’ve got Windoooooows!”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘You’re going to stay right here and help me beat this killing if I have to call your Chief back and remind him what he ordered you to do. But I won’t have to do that because you’re just so smart, so much brighter than all the rest of us poor stupid white men, you’re going to stay just to show us. Your head’s so big you could never live with yourself unless you put us all to shame. Virgil, you going to pass up a chance like that?’
 
Answer:  ‘In the Heat of the Night’ Memorable portrayals by Rod Steiger and Sidney Poitier. Excellent film. 
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  ‘Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble player, the fastest runner, the big league ballplayers, the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and do not tolerate a loser.’
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Some call me crazy
But really, I’m not.
If you are lucky,
I’ll win the battle fought!
 
It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing,
I am powerful still.
But there’s only four of me,
So use me with great skill!
 
If you choose a different battlefield,
You’ll find much more like myself,
But still we are called wild,
And we also can be dealt.
 
What am I?
 
ANSWER:  The eight in Crazy Eights! 
A suit is often what people wear. If you choose a different battlefield – or version of the game which is Crazy Eight Countdown, the crazy eight can be any card. An eight is a wild card.
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
If you balanced a broom horizontally on your finger, so that your finger was exactly on the broom’s center of gravity, marked that spot and cut the broom in two, then you would have a long and a short piece. The long piece being most of the handle and the short piece being the bristle end and a small part of the handle. Now what will happen if you weigh both pieces? (pick all that apply)
 
A) The short piece will weigh more.
B) The long piece will weigh more.
C) Both will weigh the same.
D) Your mom will find out and hit you with both pieces!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
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