Here are some groaners :
Getting braces : Putting your money where your mouth is .
Did you hear about the nuclear scientist who swallowed some uranium ? He got atomic ache .
Epitaph in a dog cemetery : “He never met a man he didn’t lick “.
Squirrel’s NEST: A Nutcracker Suite.
Social Diseases : Germs of endearment .
If Mississippi gave Missouri a New Jersey , what would Delaware ? Idaho, Alaska .
What’s the funniest animal in the world ? A stand-up chameleon .
When Eve went streaking through the Garden of Eden, Adam declared that she was absent without leaf .
“One man’s Mede is another man’s Persian”. “Are you Shah ? ” “Sultanly “.
She was only a moonshiner’s daughter, but he loved her still .
When high heels went out of style, it was a big letdown .
If you fall asleep while reading and sunbathing, you’re well red .
Dermitologists start their practices from scratch .
When you go to the dentist and get braces, you’r eputting your money where your mouth is .
What do cats call mice on skateboards ? Meals on wheels .
Archeology students who study the plumbing of ancient Egypt are Pharaoh faucet majors .
Artificial fish : A plastic sturgeon .
Atheists are people with no invisible means of support .
Atheism is a non-prophet organization .
What do you get when you cross Dracula with a pig ? A hampire !
Do turtles wear people neck sweaters ?
One surgeon arguing with another : Suture self .
What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to ? Plymouth Rock !
Dieting : The triumph of mind over platter .
The explorer came down from the North Pole . When he reached the last Lapp, he knew he was at the
Finnish line .
It’s easy to milk a cow. Any jerk can do it .
Ego : I-dolatry , Garlic : A food never eaten by those practicing breath control .
Illegal : A sick bird . Thongs . What Thinatra things . Lamb : An animal that gets more sheepish with age .
Two silkworms were in a race . They ended up in a tie .
There were two weevils who grew up on a farm down south . One was very bright and ambitious, went to
Harvard and MIT and became a famous scientist . The other stayed on the farm and never amounted to anything. He became known as the lesser of two weevils .