Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday November 27, 2013.  

You know how in first grade they used fruits to explain stuff like “one banana 
plus two bananas make three bananas”? Here’s a list of high school math courses based on bananas:
—–
Algebra I – A
You have a negative banana (possibly made of antimatter). Add two bananas to it and you get one banana.
Algebra I – B
You have a banana. Factor it, or solve for apples using the quadratic formula.
Geometry
Prove: Bananas are not vegetables. Given: Bananas are fruits.
Algebra II
You have an imaginary banana. Square it, and you get one of those weird anti-matter bananas. The student learns that their dreams will become reality if they only raise them to the fourth power.
Pre-Calculus
What is the cosecant of Pi over 2 bananas in a unit apple?
Calculus AB
The student learns to find the slope of a banana.
Calculus BC
The student learns to find the slope of a banana and also to find the area under the banana.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“I hope I don’t sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: ‘How can I get in on that?'” –Dave Barry
“My mom is very possessive. She calls me up and says things like, ‘You weren’t home last night. Is something gong on?’ I say, ‘Yeah Mom, I’m cheating on you with another mother.'” –Heidi Joyce
“I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes if see a really great outfit, I’ll break up with someone on purpose.” –Rita Rudner
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Vacationing in Kentucky, a friend and I spent the night at a small motel outside of Louisville. In the morning, I asked the woman at the desk for directions to Churchill Downs. Not able to tell us, she called her husband from the back room.
“Churchill Downs?” he asked. “That’s the race-track, isn’t it?” We nodded. He hesitated and then said, “I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere south of the university. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can be much help.”
At that point his wife left the room. The husband looked over his shoulder to make sure she had disappeared. Then he winked at us, leaned over the counter and whispered, “Take Third Street through town, go past the university and turn right on Central Avenue. After that, just look for the twin spires. You can’t miss ’em!”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  ‘Ernest Hemingway once wrote: ‘The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for.’ I agree with the second part.
 
Answer: Se7en! The last words of the film, spoken by Detective William Somerset (Morgan Freeman). 
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘Let me get this straight — you don’t want to cheat on your girlfriend with your wife? Jesus, Francis, are you sure I’m your father? I’m gonna have to check with your mother on this.’ 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Bobby Braingle is shopping at the grocery store. He purchases a different amount of apples, oranges, bananas, grapes and pineapples. Each of the fruit was either $1, $2, $3, $4 or $5 each and Bobby purchased either 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 of each fruit. Can you figure out exactly what Bobby purchased?
 
Clues:
1) The $2 orange was delicious.
2) Bobby bought more apples than oranges, but fewer apples than the $4 fruit.
3) Bobby spent $20 total on grapes.
4) The two $5 fruits needed to be peeled.
5) He did not purchase four apples or four grapes.
6) The pineapples cost $10 which was more than Bobby spent on bananas. 
 
ANSWER: Bobby purchased 3 apples at $3 each, 1 orange at $2, 4 bananas at $1 a piece, 5 grapes at $4 and 2 pineapples at $5 each.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
You mix and disrupt me,
But it makes me stronger.
You just ignore me,
But I get harder the longer.
To cap it off,
It’s surprising to see,
You end up walking
All over me.
 
What am I?
HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING! EmojiEmoji
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  

 

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