Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Tuesday November 26, 2013.  

It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out
names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:
No answer.
The troops remained totally silent.
At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant’s ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, turned a bright crimson red, and quickly turned over the list to continue calling the names printed on the other side.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
“Wildlife officials in India are now putting wild monkeys on birth control to help curb the recent population spike. This is good for wildlife, and even better for female monkeys who want to focus on their careers.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Thieves have stolen a half a million dollars’ worth of Red Bull. They’re described as armed, dangerous, and ready to go.” -Dave Letterman
“Members of the tea party gathered outside the White House to demand President Obama’s impeachment. The president said he appreciated their views and he is setting up a new website where they can voice their opinion.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of training, the instructor made an important point about preparing for landing at 300 feet.
“How do you know when you’re at 300 feet?” asked one woman. 
“A good question,” replied the instructor. “At 300 feet you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
The woman thought about this for awhile before saying, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘The other night I ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce. I got noodles with ketchup.’
Answer: Good Fellows! Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) laments the downside of his new life in the federal witness relocation program. 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  ‘Ernest Hemingway once wrote: ‘The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for.’ I agree with the second part.’
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
You mix and disrupt me,
But it makes me stronger.
You just ignore me,
But I get harder the longer.
To cap it off,
It’s surprising to see,
You end up walking
All over me.
What am I? 
ANSWER: Don’t worry too much

Or my feelings lament
For in fact what I am,

Is simply cement.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Bobby Braingle is shopping at the grocery store. He purchases a different amount of apples, oranges, bananas, grapes and pineapples. Each of the fruit was either $1, $2, $3, $4 or $5 each and Bobby purchased either 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 of each fruit. Can you figure out exactly what Bobby purchased?
1) The $2 orange was delicious.
2) Bobby bought more apples than oranges, but fewer apples than the $4 fruit.
3) Bobby spent $20 total on grapes.
4) The two $5 fruits needed to be peeled.
5) He did not purchase four apples or four grapes.
6) The pineapples cost $10 which was more than Bobby spent on bananas.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  



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