Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday November 25, 2013.  

Kids Say the Funnest Stuff!

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
— Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
— Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
— Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
— Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids.
— Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
— Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
— Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
— Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they’re rich.
— Pam, age 7 (smart girl)
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– – Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. — Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
— Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T G ET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?  — Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is……..
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.  — Ricky, age 10
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Here we go again. Freshman Congressman Trey Radel of Florida has been arrested for possession of cocaine in Washington, D.C. He admitted he is an alcoholic and pled guilty to possession of cocaine. The judge sentenced him to four years as mayor of Toronto.” –Jay Leno
“Toronto’s city council has voted to drastically reduce Mayor Rob Ford’s powers. They say this reduces him to a ‘mere figurehead’ – which still sounds better than ‘crackhead.'” –Jay Leno
“To make matters worse for Mayor Ford, his reality show was canceled after one airing. They are calling this guy the most embarrassing Ford since the Pinto.” –Jay Leno
“The ratings for Al Jazeera America has now dipped even lower than Al Gore’s Current TV, which it replaced. That’s how you know you’re boring, OK? When Al Gore is considered more entertaining to people than what you have.” –Jay Leno
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
An old farmer had owned a large farm for many years. He had a huge man-made pond out back with a beautiful picnic area. For years it was the perfect place to unwind or hold a family get together. As the farmer grew older, his “Oasis” was used less and less. It eventually became the local swimming hole and while his neighbors occasionally took advantage of the pond, he rarely made an appearence.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond. He hadn’t been there in a while and felt the urge to pay a visit to check on things. As he neared the pond, he heard loud playful voices giggling and laughing. As he came closer he was astonished to see that a bunch of young women had decided to skinny dip in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”
The old man replied, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked. I’m here to feed the alligator.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  ‘Do you really believe that there’s some sort of built-up, unresolved tension between us? There is no ‘us’. ‘We’ don’t exist.’
 
Answer: Grosse Pointe Blank!  Martin Blank (John Cusack) defuses a potentially violent incident with Bob (Michael Cudlitz) at their high school reunion. 
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???   ‘The other night I ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce. I got noodles with ketchup.’
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Bobby Braingle is shopping at the grocery store. He purchases a different amount of apples, oranges, bananas, grapes and pineapples. Each of the fruit was either $1, $2, $3, $4 or $5 each and Bobby purchased either 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 of each fruit. Can you figure out exactly what Bobby purchased?
 
Clues:
1) The $2 orange was delicious.
2) Bobby bought more apples than oranges, but fewer apples than the $4 fruit.
3) Bobby spent $20 total on grapes.
4) The two $5 fruits needed to be peeled.
5) He did not purchase four apples or four grapes.
6) The pineapples cost $10 which was more than Bobby spent on bananas. 
 
ANSWER: Bobby purchased 3 apples at $3 each, 1 orange at $2, 4 bananas at $1 a piece, 5 grapes at $4 and 2 pineapples at $5 each.
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
You mix and disrupt me,
But it makes me stronger.
You just ignore me,
But I get harder the longer.
To cap it off,
It’s surprising to see,
You end up walking
All over me.
 
What am I?
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  

 

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