Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday November 19, 2013.  

Actual Call Center Conversations…

Customer: “I’ve been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can’t get through to inquiries, can you help?”.
Operator: “Where did you get that number from, sir?”.
Customer: “It was on the door to the Travel Center”.
Operator: “Sir, those are our opening hours”.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
Samsung Electronics
Caller: “Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?”
Operator: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about”.
Caller: “On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?”
Operator: “I think you mean the telephone point on the wall”.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: “Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?”
Operator: ” Doesn’t the product give you a clue?”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-
Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
“If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-
Directory Inquiries
Caller: “I’d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please”.
Operator: “I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Is the spelling correct?”
Caller: “Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off”.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: “Woven? Are you sure?”
Caller: “Yes. That’s what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland “.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
“I haven’t got a pen, so I’m steaming up the window to write the number on”.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-
Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop”.
Customer: “OK”.
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”.
Customer: “No”.
Tech Support: “OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No”.
Tech Support: “OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”.
Customer: “Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click'”.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-
Tech Support: “OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-
Caller: “I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?”.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —- ———— ——— ——— ——— —-
There’s always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted,
not fired This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer
care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for “Termination without Cause”.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations! ):
Operator: “Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect. “
Operator: “What sort of trouble??”
Caller: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
Operator: “Went away?”
Caller: “They disappeared. “
Operator: “Hmm So what does your screen look like now?”
Caller: “Nothing.”
Operator: “Nothing??”
Caller: “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
Operator: “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??”
Caller: “How do I tell?”
Operator: “Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??”
Caller: “What’s a sea-prompt?”
Operator: “Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?”
Caller: “There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
Operator: “Does your monitor have a power indicator??”
Caller: “What’s a monitor?”
Operator: “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on??”
Caller: “I don’t know.”
Operator: “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??”
Caller: “Yes, I think so.”
Operator: “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller: “Yes, it is.”
Operator: “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??”
Caller: “No.”
Operator: “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
Caller: “Okay, here it is.”
Operator: “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
Caller: “I can’t reach.”
Operator: “Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??”
Caller: “No.”
Operator: “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??”
Caller: “Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.”
Operator: “Dark??”
Caller: “Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
” Operator: “Well, turn on the office light then.”
Caller: “I can’t.”
Operator: “No? Why not??”
Caller: “Because there’s a power failure.”
Operator: “A power……. .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??”
Caller: “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
Operator: “Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
Caller: “Really? Is it that bad?”
Operator: “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
Caller: “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??”
Operator: “Tell them you really shouldn’t own a computer!!!! !”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
President Obama paid tribute to America’s oldest living veteran, 107-year-old Richard Overton. Overton credits his longevity to drinking whiskey and smoking cigars every day. Now there’s a health plan we can all get behind.” -Jay Leno
“It’s Sadie Hawkins Day. It is the day a woman can ask a man out for a date or a dance. Don’t confuse Sadie Hawkins Day with Stephen Hawkins Day. That is when girls are allowed to ask guys about the basic principles of theoretical physics.” -Craig Ferguson
“It turns out that a lot of children could lose their dental insurance under Obamacare. So kids might not be able to go to the dentist. Parents were really upset, while kids said, ‘Four more years! Four more years!'” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
 A woman said to her friend, “I don’t know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can’t imagine. He doesn’t put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things.”
The friend says, “Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, ‘Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'”
The first woman asked, “Did it help?”
Her friend said, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since.”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???    ‘He’s a disco-dancin’, Oscar Wilde-readin’, Streisand ticket-holdin’ friend of Dorothy!’
 
Answer: Clueless! Murray (Donald Faison) reveals to Cher (Alicia Silverstone) and Dionne (Stacey Dash) that the new student at school who is the object of Cher’s infatuation is also, in fact, a gay man. 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???   ‘You think I tell the guys in here I got a brother at Harvard?’
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Fill in the sentence below so that the first two words combine to make the third word. For example, given “The _____ of the group was extremely _____, not just physically, for he was also particularly _____”, you would fill in HEAD, STRONG, and HEADSTRONG.
 
It was just too unusual to _____ that he _____ everything there, given just how _____ he normally is. 
 
ANSWER: CONSIDER, ATE, CONSIDERATE.
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
The Antisocial Club meets every week at Jim’s Bar. Since they are so antisocial, however, everyone always sits as far as possible from the other members, and no one ever sits right next to another member. Because of this, the 25-stool bar is almost always less than half full and unfortunately for Jim the members that don’t sit at the bar don’t order any drinks. Jim, however, is pretty smart and makes up a new rule: The first person to sit at the bar has to sit at one of two particular stools. If this happens, then the maximum number of members will sit at the bar. Which stools must be chosen? Assume the stools are numbered 1 to 25 and are arranged in a straight line.
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  

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