Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

418587_356958487711533_577248025_n

WELCOME to Tuesday November 12, 2013.  

STAFF NOTICE – TOILET POLICY Effective immediately, a toilet policy will be established to provide more 
consistent method of accounting for staff during working hours, thus ensuring
effective time management & equal treatment of all. In the future, the doors to
all toilets will be equipped with computer linked voice recognition devices,
which can only be activated to open at the
sound of a person’s voice. Staff must therefore immediately provide management
with 2 voice prints, one in normal tone & one under stress/desperation.
The following rules shall also apply:
1. On the first day of every month, all staff will be issued 22 toilet trip
credits.
2. Once toilet trip bank reaches zero, the doors of the toilet will
not unlock to your voice until first day of next month.
3. All cubicles are to be equipped with timed roll extractors. If stall
occupied more than 3 minutes, alarm will sound. Paper will retract into
dispenser 30 seconds later and toilet will flush and door will open.
4. If toilet remains occupied, your photo will be taken and appear on TOILET
OFFENDERS board.
5. Anyone caught smiling will undergo counseling.
6. Be advised that workers comp insurance does not cover any injuries incurred
while trying to stop toilet paper retracting into dispenser, or keep door from
opening.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“I’ve never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.” -Mitch Hedberg
“Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?” –Lisa Claymen
“I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.” –Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
 A homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. “You did a great job.” he said and handed the man a check. “Also, as a bonus, here’s an extra $100 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie.”
 
Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. “What’s the matter,” asked the homeowner, “did you forget something?”
 
“Nope.” replied the painter. “I’m just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked.”
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  ‘Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?’
 
Answer: Real Genius! As Chris Knight (Val Kilmer) and Mitch Taylor (Gabe Jarret) are about to start dismantling the car of their nemesis Kent (Robert Prescott), Chris notes that ‘Kent puts his name on his license plate.’ Mitch responds with, ‘My mother does the same thing to my underwear.’ The line above is Chris’ retort. ‘Real Genius’ is a stupendously funny movie. Go out and rent it. 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘Did you know your last name’s an adverb?’
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher these common Christmas Carols? 
 
1. Happiness to the Global Ecosystem 
2. Small male percussionist 
3. I am experiencing nocturnal visions of a colorless holiday 
4. Festoon the Corridors 
5. A Non-summer fairytale area 
6. Oh holiday conifer 
7. Ten plus two twenty-four hour periods of holiday festivity 
8. Hey tiny city in Israel 
9. In a remote location in a barn stall
 
ANSWER: 1. Joy to the World 

2. Little Drummer Boy 
3. I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas 
4. Deck the Halls 
5. Winter Wonderland 
6. Oh Christmas Tree 
7. 12 Days of Christmas 
8. Oh Little Town of Bethlehem 

9. Away in a Manger

 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
A Name Train is a puzzle where each name is connected together like box cars in a train. You are given the first car (the Engine) and the last car (the caboose), and you have to fill in the car or cars in between. Every two consecutive cars will form a name of a person or character. Here is an example Name Train: Joan [ ] Li. The answer is Joan Jet Li (Joan Jet-Female singer, Jet Li-Actor) Ready? OK here goes:
 
1. Chris [ ] Hudson
2. Chris [ ] Asimov
3. Boy [ ] [ ] Ford 
4. Elton [ ] [ ] Newton
5. Curious [ ] [ ] [ ] Browne
 
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! SUPER SOLVING JOB KIM! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  
 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s