Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

book-to-understand-woman-has-finally-arrived

WELCOME to Monday November 11, 2013.  

Times have surly changed……

25 years ago……
A program was … a television show
An application was .. for employment
Windows were….. something you hated to clean
A cursor … used profanity
A keyboard was …a piano
Memory was….. something you lost with age
A CD was… a bank account
If u unzipped in public you went to jail
Compress was something you did to garbage
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
Log on was adding wood to fire
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
Cut.. you did with scissors
paste.. you did with glue
A web was a spiders home
And a virus was the flu!!!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was re-elected by a huge margin. He gave a great speech last night. He said he learned a lot in the last four years – for example, that lap-band surgery doesn’t always work.” –Jay Leno
“Chris Christie won by such a wide margin that pundits say this will give him the impetus he needs to run for president. And he’s got a new slogan: ‘Put the oval in the Oval Office.'” –Jay Leno
“President Obama’s approval rating is down to 39 percent. And Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, who admitted to smoking crack cocaine, went up to 49 percent. How does this make Obama feel? He’d be better off smoking crack than passing Obamacare.” –Jay Leno
“The new mayor of New York City is a progressive Democrat with an African-American wife who used to be a lesbian. Or as Fox News reported, the apocalypse is upon us.” –Conan O’Brien
“The new mayor is married to a woman who used to be a lesbian. His campaign slogan: ‘If I turned her around, imagine what I can do for New York City!'” –Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
There’s a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him.
So the guy turns around to go back, but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him.
By now, the car is so close and the man so scared that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road.
The car gets real close, then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next him.
The driver rolls down the window.
The driver is a squirrel.
The squirrel says to the man, “See, it’s not as easy as it looks, is it?”
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  ‘You give me trouble. People don’t do that around here. So you better grow some eyes in the back of your head…’cause you won’t know when it’s comin’.’  
 
Answer: My Bodyguard! Melvin Moody (Matt Dillon) issues fair warning to Clifford Peache (Chris Makepeace) in one of my favorite movies of all time. Fabulous Chicago location shooting, a brilliant score by Dave Grusin, and a perfect snapshot of what can happen when bullies step into the world of a teenager and try to ruin it. Highly recommended. 
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?’
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Suppose you’re in a hallway lined with 100 closed lockers. 
You begin by opening every locker. Then you close every second locker. Then you go to every third locker and open it (if it’s closed) or close it (if it’s open). Let’s call this action toggling a locker. Continue toggling every nth locker on pass number n. After 100 passes, where you toggle only locker #100, how many lockers are open?
 
ANSWER:  Answer: 10 lockers are left open: 
Lockers #1, 4, 9, 16, 25, 36, 49, 64, 81, and 100. 
Each of these numbers are perfect squares. This problem is based on the factors of the locker number. 
Each locker is toggled by each factor; for example, locker #40 is toggled on pass number 1, 2, 4, 5, 8, 10, 20, and 40. That’s eight toggles: open-closed-open-closed-open-closed-open-closed.
 
The only way a locker could be left open is if it is toggled an odd number of times. The only numbers with an odd number of factors are the perfect 
squares. Thus, the perfect squares are left open. 
 
For example, locker #25 is toggled on pass number 1, 5, and 25 (three toggles): open-closed-open.
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher these common Christmas Carols? 
 
1. Happiness to the Global Ecosystem
2. Small male percussionist 
3. I am experiencing nocturnal visions of a colorless holiday 
4. Festoon the Corridors 
5. A Non-summer fairytale area 
6. Oh holiday conifer 
7. Ten plus two twenty-four hour periods of holiday festivity 
8. Hey tiny city in Israel 
9. In a remote location in a barn stall
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  

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