WELCOME to Wednesday October 30, 2013. Ten Signs That You’re Too Old for Halloween…
1. You get winded from knocking on the door.
2. You have to ask someone to chew your candy for you.
3. You ask for high fiber candy only.
4. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
5. People say, “Great Keith Richards mask!” and you’re not wearing a mask.
6. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or…” and you can’t remember the rest.
7. By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders.
8. You carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hair piece.
9. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
10. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“I tried to log on to the Obamacare website today. I don’t think I’m doing it right. I lost 300 bucks playing Texas Hold ‘Em.” -Jay Leno
“A man in Oregon was arrested for growing marijuana after police used Google Earth to track him down. So if you’re one of those crazy conspiracy theorists who thinks the government is watching you with satellites from space, you were right.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A new study shows that eating bacon can lower a man’s chances of getting a woman pregnant. Scientists are calling it alarming. Men are calling it a win-win.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her now ex-husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.
“Honey,” his wife said, while reading the newspaper, “it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to retire six over-aged destroyers.”
To which the husband replies, “Oh…I’m sorry to hear your mother will be out of work.”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘That must be one hell of a planet you people come from!’‘
Answer: Flash Gordon! One of my favorite bad movies of all time. Prince Vultan (Brian Blessed) says this to Flash Gordon (Sam J. Jones) after Flash announces that he plans to sacrifice his own life in order to save the day. Unfortunately, Flash survives, and exposes us to yet more of his horrendous atttempts at acting.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘Grampa…I’m kinda glad I got your blood in me.’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Eagle-eye Ixolite, the world famous dart player, was at an exhibition match and was showing off to the audience. “I can throw a dart and it will hit the board anywhere I want!” he cried. “Where on the board shall I put my next dart?” he asked the crowd. A small boy came up to Eagle-Eye and passed him a slip of paper. Eagle-eye, who liked a rebus, took one look at the note, threw his head back and laughed, then threw the dart. Where did it land? This is what was on the note: Perfume Bottle R.I.P.
ANSWER: It landed in the bullseye. The Rebus said Dead Center or Dead Scenter.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
One of four people – two men (Jack and Mike) and two women (Carol and Lily) – was murdered.
The following facts refer to the people mentioned:
(a) Jack’s sister argued exactly once with Carol’s legal husband after the murder.
(b) Mike’s sister argued twice with the victim’s legal spouse after the murder. Who was the victim?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,