Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday October 23, 2013.    Pondering…….

Why is it called a “building” when it is already built?
Why do they call them “apartments” when they are all stuck together?
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy’s Law, will something keep going wrong?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
How can someone “draw a blank”?
Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic”?
Why is the word “abbreviate” so long?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What is another word for “thesaurus”?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
 “The White House announced that it is bringing in the best and brightest tech experts to fix the glitches on the Obamacare website, which is a great plan. You know what would have been a better plan? Hiring the best and brightest tech experts to make the Obamacare website in the first place.” –Jimmy Fallon
“Last week North Korea unveiled a new government-owned water park. There are differences between an American water park and a North Korean water park. In America, if you’re less than four feet tall, you can’t ride a slide. In North Korea, if you’re less than four feet tall, you can run the country.” –Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama is urging Americans who are having trouble with the Obamacare website to sign up for healthcare by calling a 1-800 number. The number is 1-800-we-didn’t-think-this-through.” –Conan O’Brien
“As of today, same-sex marriages are now legal in New Jersey. And today New Jersey governor Chris Christie announced he would no longer oppose gay marriage. He said, ‘How can I oppose anything that brings more cake into New Jersey?'” –Conan O’Brien
“Due to system failure today, many people were unable to update their Facebook status. Incidentally, for the several hours Facebook was down we were actually competitive with China.” –Conan O’Brien
“Things got screwed up with the healthcare website. So you can wait for them to get the site fixed or you can enroll in medical school, graduate, and then just take care of yourself, which would probably be faster.” –Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water.
After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He held the bucket in front of his private area and sighed with relief.
The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move.
Then one of the ladies said, “You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds.”
“Impossible’, said the embarrassed man, ‘You really know what I think?”
“Yes”, the lady replied, “Right now, I bet you think that the bucket you’re holding has a bottom.”
 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “I charged the whole thing to the Underhills’ account. Want the number?”
 
Answer: Fletch! Investigative reporter Irwin Fletcher (Chevy Chase) pretends to be many different people throughout this film. At one point, he poses as a country club member, and encounters a rude, boorish rich man named Mr. Underhill. Fletch then orders an expensive lunch and charges it to Underhill’s account.
 
At the end of the film, Fletch’s voice-over explains that the vacation that he and his new paramour are enjoying was also fraudulently charged to the Underhills! 
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “I look up at the moon, and wonder: When will we be going back? And who will that be?”
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
 What is this showing? 
 
“Mr____, you’re sacked.” 
“Miss _____, contract terminated.” 
“Mr_____, it’s the can for you.”
ANSWER:  Firing blanks
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
A man is trapped in a room. The room has only two possible exits: two doors. Through the first door there is a room constructed from magnifying glass. The blazing hot sun instantly fries anything or anyone that enters. Through the second door there is a fire-breathing dragon. How does the man escape?
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  

 

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