Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday October 22, 2013. 

How Communication “Twists” in a company. 
Engineer to Team Leader:
“We can’t do this proposed project. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this system. And above that, no body in our company knows the formulation in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can’t. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these type of projects.”
Team Leader to Project Manager :
“This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don’t have any staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature.”
Project Manager to General Manager :
“This project involves a design change in the system and we don’t have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it.”
General Manager to Vice President :
“This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project,but with caution.”
Vice President to CEO :
“This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any circumstances.”
CEO to Client :
“This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
 “People are saying that Republicans got nothing out of the deal. Not true. They got eight years of Hillary.” –David Letterman on the government shutdown
“After the shutdown debacle, the tea party’s approval rating is 23 percent. In other words, it’s the first time the tea party has ever been supported by a minority.” –Conan O’Brien
“In a speech today President Obama called for a new era of bipartisan cooperation. He said this because Obama likes to start off a speech with a joke.” –Conan O’Brien
“Yesterday John McCain said the government shutdown was worse than the one in ’95. That’s 1795. He was 44 at the time, cleaning a musket for his son.” –Conan O’Brien
“Chris Christie said if one of his children were gay, he would, quote, hug them and tell them I love them. Of course, he said the same thing about the Keebler Elves.” –Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Joey and Katie are sitting in school.  Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question.
“Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?” Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.  “Jesus Christ almighty! !” Exclaimed Katie. “Correct.” Says the teacher.
So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up “Who created Heaven and Earth?” Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey’s pencil “Jesus Christ almighty!” she exclaims. “Correct again.” Says the teacher.  So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”  Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey’s pencil again, and screams “If you poke me with that thing one more time I am going to crack it in half!”
 
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “And just like that…he’s gone.” 
 
Answer: The Usual Suspects! No spoilers here for those who haven’t seen the film. Suffice it to say that this 1995 film about the exploits of five career criminals is full of enough twists and turns to make one’s head spin, thanks to an Academy Award-winning script by Christopher McQuarrie, top-notch directing by Bryan Singer, and superb acting by the entire cast — including Kevin Spacey, whose character speaks this final line in the film. 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “I charged the whole thing to the Underhills’ account. Want the number?”
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Mrs. Botanee , the science teacher at Dandelion High School, held a “Nature is Remarkable” photo contest. The five prize-winning students were Carole, Charlie, Johnny, Oliver and Susan. The subjects they photographed were dewdrops, hummingbirds, red ants, a spider web and termites.
From the information given, determine the subject of each student’s photograph as well as the order in which the five students finished.
1. The photo of termites received a higher prize than Johnny’s photo but a lower prize than those of both girls
2. A girl took the photo of the spider web.
3. The boy whose photo won is not named Charlie and neither of these two boys entered a photo of either a hummingbird or red ants.
4. Susan’s photo received a lower prize than the photo of red ants.
ANSWER:  Oliver won the contest (by elimination clues 1,3). He did dewdrops (clues 1,2,3). Charlie did termites (clues 2,3), which was fourth (clue 1). Johnny was fifth (clue 1) with a photo of a hummingbird (clues 2,4). Susan was third and red ants second (clue 4). Susan did the spider web. Carole was second.
The answers summarized –
First – Oliver – Dewdrops
Second – Carole – Red ants
Third – Susan – Spider web
Fourth – Charlie – Termites
Fifth – Johnny – Hummingbird
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is this showing?
“Mr____, you’re sacked.”
“Miss _____, contract terminated.”
“Mr_____, it’s the can for you.”
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  

 

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