Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Monday October 14, 2013.  Dear Dad……

A father passing by his teenage daughter’s bedroom was astonished to
see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up
prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you, but I’m leaving home . I had to elope with my new
boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you’ll like him too – even with all his piercing,
tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion Dad, I’m pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn’t so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn’t stand in the
way of our relationship , don’t you agree?  Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It’s true he has other girlfriends as well but I know
he’ll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of
my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and he’ll be growing it for us and we’ll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray
that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Your loving daughter,
At the bottom of the page were the letters “PTO”.
Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk
centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love U
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
Riches don’t make a man rich, they only make him busier.
Christopher Columbus
Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.
Bernard Meltzer
I cry out for order and find it only in art.
Helen Hayes
Literature and butterflies are the two sweetest passions known to man.
Vladimir Nabokov
I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
An ant knocks the door of a house. House owner opens the door. “I want a place to stay”, said the ant.
“I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost”, said the owner. Ant went inside and occupied that vacant room. After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested the owner “Can you please allow this ant to stay along with me”. “Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent” said the owner.  After some days the ant brought one more ant and requested the owner to allow that ant to stay with it. Owner agreed to it without asking for any rent. This continued i.e ant brings in one more ant and owner agrees for it. On one fine day, the ant brought in 10th ant and requested the owner to allow that tenth ant also to stay with it. The owner said “Ok, you all can stay here but you need to pay rent”.
Now the question is Why did the owner ask for rent when the tenth ant came in?
Scroll down for the answer
Because they are now Tenants (Ten ants) Emoji
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “Basic principles. There are none.”
Answer: “Hitch” (2005) stars Will Smith as “the Date Doctor”, a man who gets paid to advise men on how to get the women of their dreams to accept their advances. 
Alex “Hitch” Hitchens’ voice-over at the beginning of the film informs the audience that there are certain “basic principles” that must be acknowledged in order to navigate romance successfully…but by the film’s end, he seems to have abandoned that concept completely. This last line, oddly enough, is delivered directly to the audience.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? A: “So? What do you think?” B: “I think…it’s not all bad.”
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Once there was a night watchman who had been caught several times sleeping on the job. The boss issued the final warning. On the next night he was caught with his head on his hand and his elbows on the desk. 
“Aha, I’ve caught you again,” exclaimed the boss. The watchman’s eyes popped open immediately and he knew what had happened. Being a quick thinking man, he said one word before looking up at the boss. The boss apologized profusely and went home. What was the one word? 
ANSWER: The one word was “AMEN”, thus making the Boss believe he was praying rather than sleeping.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at LINKS2 CHECK OUT:,  


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