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Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. “Sid,” asked Al, “Are there any Jews in China?”
“I don’t know,” Sid replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, “Are there any Chinese Jews?”
“I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Chinese Jews.”
“Are you sure?” Al asked.
“I will check again, sir.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was still gone, Sid said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere.”
When the waiter returned he said, “Sir, no Chinese Jews.”
“Are you really sure?” Al asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.”
“Sir, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied exasperated. “We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but no Chinese Jews!”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Kevin Trudeau, the king of infomercials, has been sent to jail for fraud. The judge sentenced him to 10 years. But then he said, ‘Wait, there’s more,’ and added another five years.” -Conan O’Brien
“It looks like the federal government could be shutting down. The legal definition of a government shutdown is when Congress continues not to work, but they do it from home.” -Jay Leno
“Two guys in New Hampshire were arrested after they tried to rob a group of people playing Bingo. Cops became suspicious when they saw a car driving away from the Bingo hall going more than 10 miles an hour.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A young couple honeymooning in Las Vegas were down to their last two dollars. The groom told the bride that he had a feeling that he could turn the two bucks into a fortune if he went down to the casino alone.
Once in the casino, he put one dollar each into two slot machines and won Jackpots on both totaling $10,000. He then played blackjack for an hour until he had $50,000 in chips. Next, he played poker and upped his winnings to $100,000.
He was about to cash in his chips when he got a hunch that his luck hadn’t run out. So he took all his money and placed it on Black at the roulette table, hoping to double his money. But the ball came up Red. He returned to his hotel room.
“How did you do?” asked the bride.
The groom shrugged and said, “I lost two dollars.”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “That’s no moon.”
Answer: Star Wars! “That’s no moon.” is a line from “Star Wars” (1977), said when Han, Chewie, Luke and Obi-Wan are heading to Alderan and they find the Death Star. Obi-Wan says this after Luke says “Look at that size of that moon.” “Star Wars” is a Sci-Fi classic movie about rebels fighting the Galactic Empire. Also it is about one of the last Jedis passing on along his knowlegde to the son of a fallen Jedi.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “You’re the best Old Man. You should be free.” is said by Jim Craig in what movie?
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
You will know that I am coming
From the jingle of my bell,
But exactly who I am is not an easy thing to tell.
Children, they adore me
for they find me jolly,
but I do not see them when the halls are decked with holly.
My job often leaves me frozen,
I am a man that all should know,
But I do not do business in times of sleet or ice or snow.
I travel much on business,
But no reindeer haul me around,
I do all my traveling firmly on the ground.
I love the time of Christmas,
But that’s not my vocational season,
And I assure that is because of a sound economic reason.
ANSWER: Ice Cream Man!
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Using real names to make common words/phrases, name the offspring: (the first one is free!)
1. Mr and Mrs Voyant – Clare (as in Clairvoyant)
2. Mr and Mrs Tress
3. Mr and Mrs Nasium
4. Mr and Mrs Tate
5. Mr and Mrs Anthemum
6. Mr and Mrs Mander
7. Mr and Mrs Mite
8. Mr and Mrs Time