Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

paindemotivator

WELCOME to Friday September 20, 2013.  Just laughs……..

A FOOLish man tells his wife to STOP talking,
but a WISE man tells she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED
==
One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption
Before Marriage – Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage – Drink whenever you are HAPPY
==
Three FASTEST means of Communication
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell -a Woman
Need still FASTER – Tell her NOT to tell ANYBODY
==
What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER amongst all your Friends.
==
If you do NOT have a Girl Friend – You are missing SOMEthing in your life
If you have ‘ONE’ ; You are missing EVERY thing in your life
==
Q – What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A – One Woman Brings U into this world crying… & ….other ‘ONE’ ensures U Continue it..
==
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no
==
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
==
Teacher : Correct this sentence “A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”
Pappu : “A cow and a bull is grazing in the field”
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“A Stanford study suggests that social media is making us smarter. They examined hundreds of essays written by college freshmen between 1917 and 2006. By 2006, the papers were longer, better researched, and more complex. That’s because kids in 2006 cut and pasted them from Wikipedia.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“NASA is sending chocolate to astronauts on the International Space Station. I guess it makes sense � I mean, it’s not like those guys have to watch their weight. “Nope, still zero pounds.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“There is a library that is stocked with thousands of e-books in San Antonio. But that’s not really a library. It’s called a Kindle.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, “Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset.”
She wrote at the bottom of the page, “You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it’s time to learn the difference.”
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I know the Presidents’ Chief Advisor, we were at MIT together. And, at this point in time, you really don’t want to take advice from a man who got a ‘C minus’ in astrophysics.”   
 
Answer: Armageddon! A “global-killer” asteroid the size of Texas is on a collision course with Earth. Their only hope is a bunch of oddballs that happen to be the best deep-core drillers in the world. I HATE it when that happens! Jason Isaacs as Dr. Ronald Quincy, explaining to Keith David’s Lt. General Kimsey that the only way to blow up the asteroid is to drill into it and get the explosives inside. General Kimsey quotes the President’s Chief Advisor, who claims that a nuclear explosion on the surface of the asteroid will solve the problem. Dr. Quincy puts him in his place.  It’s hard to believe that is Lucius Malfoy from the Harry Potter movies sitting at that table, isn’t it? 
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “We’re going to give you a fair trial, followed by a first-class hangin'”
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is this?
 
 
Filming Schedule for GODS the Movie:
 
Venus 14:00
Mars 17:00
Mercury – Forbidden to film 
ANSWER: Don’t shoot the messenger
Venus = Goddess of Love
Mars = God of War
Mercury = Messenger of the Gods
Shooting is a Movie term for Filming.
Friday’s Quizzler is………. 
A man goes into a hardware store to purchase some knobs. To purchase one knob you must pay a minimum of 4 U.S. coins. Two knobs can be purchased with a minimum of 6 U.S. coins. 3 knobs require a minimum of 2 U.S. coins. How much does one knob cost?
U.S Coins include: a penny ($.01), a nickel ($.05), a dime ($.10), a quarter ($.25), a half-dollar ($.50), and a silver dollar ($1.00).
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,   

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