Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

survivaldemotivator

WELCOME to Tuesday September 17, 2013.  

In a morning Bible study, a group of women were studying how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husbands?”
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?”
A few women answered today, some said yesterday, and some didn’t remember.
The women were then asked to take their phones and send the text message, “I love you, sweetheart.”
After a few minutes, the women were asked to exchange phones and read aloud the responding text messages.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Who is this?
2. Uh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3. I love you too.
4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
5. I don’t understand what you mean.
6. What did you do now?
7. ?!!???
8. Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn’t she?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Congress is considering a bill that would force advertisers to lower the volume of their TV commercials. OK, how did my mother get in Congress?” -Jimmy Fallon
“The kids are going back to school. When I was a kid, you used to take an apple to school for the teacher to get on her good side. Now you send over a drink.” -Dave Letterman
“Plans are being discussed for a reality show based on the White House. It’s called ‘Lame Duck Dynasty.'” -Jay Leno
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in, sits down and asks him what the problem is.
“Well,” said Eric, “I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I’m in deep trouble at home.”
“What kind of question?” asked Tom.
“My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly.”
“That’s easy,” said Tom. “You just say ‘Of course I will'”.
“Yeah,” said Eric, “That’s what I did, except I said ‘Of course I DO…'”
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Like I told my last wife, I said, ‘Honey, I never drive faster than I can see, and besides… it’s all in the reflexes.'”
 
Answer: Big Trouble in Little China! Legend has it that this script was a heavily re-worked version of the sequel “Buckaroo Banzai: Against the World Crime League”. This kung-fu magic act is a good vs. evil story of Jack Burton, Wang Chi, and Egg Shen taking on the immortal David Lo Pan and his servants, the mystical Three Storms.
 
Jack (Kurt Russell) loves to talk, and this is a part of his litany into the CB radio in his truck (“The Porkchop Express”) at the beginning of the film. “It’s all in the reflexes…” becomes a running gag line throughout the film. 
 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  “This place has a sign hangin’ over the urinal that says, ‘Don’t eat the big white mint’.”
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
You are an expert on paranormal activity and have been hired to locate a spirit haunting an old resort hotel. Strong signs indicate that the spirit lies behind one of four doors. The inscriptions on each door read as follows:
Door A: It’s behind B or C
Door B: It’s behind A or D
Door C: It’s in here
Door D: It’s not in here
Your psychic powers have told you three of the inscriptions are false, and one is true. Behind which door will you find the spirit? 
 
ANSWER: The spirit lies behind Door D.
If the spirit is behind Door A, then both B and D are true.
If the spirit is behind Door B, then both A and D are true.
If the spirit is behind Door C, then A, C, and D are all true.
If the spirit is behind Door D, then the statements on all the doors are false, except for that on Door B. This matches the rules, and therefore, the resort hotel spirit lurks behind Door D.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 
Fill in the sentence below so that the first two words combine to make the third word. For example, given “The ____ was closing in, making his ____ harder but through his ____ of contacts he was able to evade the police.” you would fill in NET, WORK, and NETWORK.
A ____ of his ____ should be able to ____ that job.
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  

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