Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday September 11, 2013.  

You have probably heard about the lawsuit over a spilled cup of coffee. However, there are many other silly lawsuits involving products that have received far less attention.
For example:
A prescription of sleeping pills says,
“Warning: May cause drowsiness
A container of underarm deodorant says,
“Caution: Do not spray in eyes”
A cartridge for a laser printer warns: “Do not eat toner”
A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns:
“Do not drive with sunshield in place”
A Bathroom Heater says:
“This product is not to be used in bathrooms”
A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users:
“May irritate eyes”
A popular manufactured fireplace log warns:
“Caution – Risk of Fire”
A box of birthday cake candles says: “DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.
Hey, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
 “John Kerry said during the Senate hearing that we are not the world’s policemen. Really, then how come we eat most of the world’s donuts?” -Jay Leno
“On Sunday, more than 1,500 people set a world record by holding the largest gathering of redheads in history marking the first event that nearly got canceled due to sun.” -Jimmy Fallon
“The NFL season kicked off last night. Football is for people who can’t stand politics but still enjoy watching millionaires destroy each other.” -Craig Ferguson
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Once upon a time, there were four people; Their names were Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody.
Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
When Nobody did it, Everybody got angry because it was Everybody’s job.
Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Nobody would do it.
So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place.
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “Pragmatism. Is that all you have to offer?”
 
Answer: “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead” is Tom Stoppard’s adaptation of Shakeapeare’s “Hamlet”. This screenplay is true to the stage production and is full of quotable routines and one-liners. Gary Oldman and Tim Roth play the title characters of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern as they go through the story of “Hamlet”. This story shows us what the characters are doing when they aren’t “on stage”. 
After the Player (played by Richard Dreyfuss) tells the pair that “he knows which way the wind is blowing”, a reference to Hamlet’s “when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.” Guildenstern proceeds to go into a long monologue about how to tell which direction the wind is blowing, based upon the time of day and the position of the sun. Rosencrantz is getting sick of Guildenstern’s long monologue and asks him “Why don’t you go take a look?”  Guildenstern responds with this great line. 
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself?”
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
 John, Paul, George, and Ringo all enter a race, but there is nobody at the finish line to judge the ending. When the judge finally shows up to award the prize for coming in first, these are the statements the four of them make:
John: I was neither first nor last.
Paul: I did not finish last.
George: I won the race!
Ringo: I came in last.
The judge starts to hand George the prize, when Yoko, who was watching the race, says, “Exactly one of these four is lying.”
To whom should the judge grant the prize?
 
ANSWER: The prize should go to Paul.  If John is lying, then George and Ringo would be telling the truth, which would mean John was not lying, so he can’t be the liar.  If Paul was lying, then Ringo would also be lying, so he must be telling the truth, as well.  So we now know that neither John nor Paul finished last. If Ringo was lying, then George would have finished last, which would mean that he was lying, as well. So Ringo can’t be lying.  This leaves George as our liar, so we know George did not finish first. Neither did Ringo (he finished last), nor did John (he finished neither first nor last). Therefore, Paul won the race! 
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 
The letter S is added to pluralise most words in the English language.
eg Letter to Letters, Word to Words and Language to Languages
There is a word however that is pluralised with the addition of the letter C.
What is it?
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! INCREDIBLE SOLVING JOB BANKS! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  
 

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