Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday September 10, 2013.  Chilly Questions and Answers…..

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday
*********
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
*********
Manager: Sorry, but i can’t give u a job. I don’t need much help.
Job Applicant: That’s all right. In fact I’m just the right person in this
case. You see, I won’t be of much help anyway!!
*********
Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
*********
Diner: I can’t eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It’s no use. He won’t eat it either.
*********
Diner: You’ll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don’t expect to walk there, do you?
*********
Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I’ve still got mine with me!
*********
Man: Officer! There’s a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don’t worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
*********
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!!!
Hey, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“A 5-year-old boy in China has become the youngest person ever to fly an airplane. In about an hour from now, people are hoping he will become the youngest person to LAND an airplane.” -Conan O’Brien
“You can now buy a coffin that has a $30,000 stereo system. That’s right. You can be buried in a coffin with a stereo system that costs $30,000. Or you can just bury the $30,000. It’s the same thing.” -Dave Letterman
“An 80-year-old weightlifter has been banned from the sport for two years after he was caught using steroids at a competition. Officials became suspicious that he was using steroids when he was an 80-year-old man in a weightlifting competition.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
My dear friend, a divorcee, never remarried, and her daughter wanted to know why.
“The men I know would bring too much heavy baggage to the marriage and I simply don’t want to put up with it,” she explained.
Taking her mother’s hand in hers, my friend’s daughter said sweetly, “I hate to break the news to you, Mom, but you’re not exactly carry-on yourself.”
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “Richard, do you want to get shot?”
 
Answer: The Fugitive! Dr. Richard Kimball is falsely accused of murdering his wife, and is pursued by Deputy U.S. Marshall, Sam Gerard, after a train hits the bus that was bringing him to prison.  Kimball has come to a dead end in a drainage tunnel spilling off over a dam. Gerard orders Kimball to put his gun down, turn around, and get down on the ground, while standing in the drain pipe that spills over the dam. He asks this when Kimball hesitates in complying. I don’t know, I’d take getting shot over jumping off of that dam! 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “Pragmatism. Is that all you have to offer?”
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
The following clues each form a unique word by themselves, add them together to get the name of a country. Example: blue and yellow mixed + solid ground = ? Answer: 
green + land = Greenland 
 
1. something that will make you sick + an indefinite number = ? 
 
2. half of the width of an em + an organ for secreting = ? 
 
3. a swindle + to move or travel = ? 
 
4. an animal’s shelter + a visible sign = ? 
 
ANSWER: 1. germ + any = Germany 
2. en + gland = England 
3. con + go = Congo 
4. den + mark = Denmark  
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 
John, Paul, George, and Ringo all enter a race, but there is nobody at the finish line to judge the ending. When the judge finally shows up to award the prize for coming in first, these are the statements the four of them make:
John: I was neither first nor last.
Paul: I did not finish last.
George: I won the race!
Ringo: I came in last.
The judge starts to hand George the prize, when Yoko, who was watching the race, says, “Exactly one of these four is lying.”
To whom should the judge grant the prize?
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  

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