Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday September 6, 2013.  Laws of Life……

* Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.
* Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.
* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
* Miller’s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.
* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you’ll want to be doing something else.
* Weiner’s Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.
* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.
* Lampner’s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful weekend people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“About $30 million in $100 bills had to be destroyed because of a printing problem. Isn’t that unbelievable? The only thing we know how to do right in this country is print money and we even screw that up.” -Jay Leno
“A new report says 60 percent of teenagers don’t have even a basic knowledge of finances. Although in fairness, I’m 38 and I just found out this year that a 401(k) is NOT a type of marathon.” -Jimmy Fallon
“They’re now making the first smartphone that’s not made overseas. It’s made in Texas. It’s also the first smartphone that doubles as a handgun.” -Conan O’Brien
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway.
“You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday,” he said. “I realized I’ve been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years.”
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “You took an oath, if you recall, when you first came to work for me. And I don’t mean to the National Security Adviser of the United States, I mean to his boss… and I don’t mean the President. You gave your word to his boss: you gave your word to the people of the United States. Your word is who you are.”
 
Answer: “Clear and Present Danger” centers around CIA Deputy Director of Intelligence Jack Ryan uncovering an illegal war being fought by the US government against a Colombian drug cartel. Jack Ryan seeks advice from his mentor and friend Admiral Greer. Greer urges Ryan to continue to investigate suspicious actions among high level US officials in both the CIA and the White House despite the fact that it may uncover some disturbing information.
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck… maybe even a ‘recreational vehicle’. And drive from state to state. Do they let you do that?”?
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
A man wanted to get into a members only club so he hid and watched the guard at the door of the club house. The guard said a number to each member as they approached, and the member would respond with a number of their own. If the member responded with the correct number they were let in. If they responded incorrectly they were thrown out. One member came up to the door, the guard said twelve, and the member responded with six and was let in. Another member came to the door, the guard said six and the member responded with three and was let in. Believing he had heard enough, the reject went up to the guard. The guard said ten, and the reject said five, but was not let in. What should the reject have said? 
ANSWER: He should have said three, the number of letters in the number the guard said.
 
 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is………. 
What two linked phrases are shown below?
Your team mates
1) P.Height
2) R.Speed
3) A.Length
4) W.Time
My team mates
1) R.Height
2) J.Speed
3) T. Length
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  

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