Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday August 30, 2013. Ringing Doubts..

1.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go?(weird)
2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be give a thought)
3.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)
4.If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)
5.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)
6.Can you cry under water? (let me try)
7.Why do people say, “you’ve been working like a dog” when dogs just sit around all day? (i think they meant something else)
8.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)
9.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)
10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)
12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight i will stay and watch)
13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed)
14.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)
15.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)
16.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )
17.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)
18.Why is it called a “building” when it is already built? (strange isnt it)
19.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be ! able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)
20.If you’re traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? (i dont have a chance to try)
21.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice)
22.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice)
23.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law)
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do today, don’t
forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“The state attorney general of New York is suing Donald Trump for $40 million, claiming that Donald Trump University is not a real university. The state claims it’s not a real college because students get very little education and were unable to find jobs after they graduated. Sounds like a real college to me.” -Jay Leno
“A brewery in Japan has introduced a beer made from elephant dung. How do you market something like that? ‘I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I make sure it comes from an elephant’s butt.'” -Craig Ferguson
“Teachers at nine universities are using a new technology that can tell if students are actually reading their textbooks. Let me save you some time. They’re not.” -Jimmy Kimmel
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and my total was $4.25, so I gave the clerk a $5 bill and I also handed her a quarter. She said, “you gave me too much money.”
I said, “Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.”
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said “We’re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.”
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s. Or do. Who knows, you might get lucky.
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “For you to get involved here, its like sleeping with another mans wife… and what you are suggesting is that afterwards they all live together under the same roof… but what really happens is that the betrayed husband goes out and buys a gun.”?
 
Answer: “The Sum of All Fears” centers on a young Jack Ryan who is at this point of the Clancy timeline a junior analyst for the CIA. The plot of the film revolves around an Eastern European terrorist group’s plot to detonate a nuclear device at a sporting event in Baltimore in an effort to create a war between the US and Russia. Ryan and his superior, CIA Director William Cabot, are on a mission to inspect a Russian nuclear weapon facility. While in country, they are invited to the Kremlin to meet with newly elected Russian Federation President Alexander Nemerov. President Nemerov uses this analogy to suggest that the US keep out of the current Russian-Chechen crisis. Despite this tacit threat, Ryan manages to wins Nemerov over on this trip and will take advantage of the Russian President liking him later on in the film to help thwart nuclear war between the two super powers.
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “Dr. Ryan, I’m a politician which means I’m a liar and a cheat. If I’m not kissing babies, I’m stealing their lollipops.”
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
The following clues give definitions for world capitals. These definitions describe what the capitals (just the city) sound like they would mean.
1) This capital is a recently opened store for cooked meats.
2) This capital is plant-covered bovine.
3) This capital is a tool used for fighting.
4) This capital is a royal weight.
5) This capital is a cheer for a body of water.
6) This capital is the legendary vehicle graveyard.
7) This capital is something that annoys a religious figure.
8) This capital is a basic digit.
9) This capital is something you get from the sun.
10) This capital is a score for a ringer.
ANSWER: 1) New Delhi (New Deli), India
2) Moscow (Moss Cow), Russia
3) Warsaw (War Saw), Poland
4) Kingston (King’s Ton), Jamaica
5) Beirut (Bay Root), Lebanon
6) Khartoum (Car Tomb), Sudan
7) Budapest (Buddha Pest), Hungary
8) Quito (Key Toe), Ecuador
9) Bern (Burn), Switzerland
10) Belgrade (Bell Grade), Serbia and Montenegro
Friday’s Quizzler is………. 
We are two different things
We can both be ridden
One runs on black ground
The other runs on green
We both drink liquids
And we have the same name
What are we?
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  
  

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