Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday August 27, 2013.     Its all about Wives..

(Please remember NOT TO SHOOT the messenger!)
My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, “There was water in the carburetor.”
I asked her, “Where’s the car?”
She replied, “In the lake.”
************
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
************
I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months – I don’t like to interrupt her.
************
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got myself two girlfriends.
************
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
************
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
The father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
************
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: “You can have mine.”
*************
It’s not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.
*************
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
*************
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I’m half dead.”
**************
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t
forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Elsewhere in the news, a Swedish company was fined today after one of their assembly robots attacked a human worker. And so it begins…” -Craig Ferguson
“A new study came out that shows that the germiest place in your kitchen is the refrigerator’s vegetable drawer. After hearing this, most Americans said, ‘We have a vegetable drawer?'” -Conan O’Brien
“A prop phaser gun from the Star Trek TV show recently sold for $231,000 at an auction making it the most expensive thing you can point at someone right before they beat the crap out of you.” -Jimmy Fallon
 
 
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A wife asked her husband, “Honey, could you please run to the store and get a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”
A while later the husband returned with a case of quart milk cartons.
Staring incredulously at the 12-pack case of milk, his wife asked, “Why the hell did you buy so much milk?”
Her husband said, “They had eggs.”
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “Ryan, be careful what you shoot at. Most things in here don’t react well to bullets”
 
Answer: “The Hunt for Red October” is set in the middle of the cold war between the USSR and the US. A senior and well respected Russian Sub commander, Marco Ramius, and his handpicked crew use a state of the art nuclear submarine that runs nearly undetectable by modern sonar to defect to the United States. In the film’s climax Captain Ramius and CIA analyst Jack Ryan join together to neutralize a KGB saboteur who is trying to foil the defection plot by igniting a missile and incinerating the ship. Ramius instructs Ryan to be careful discharging his firearm in the hold of Red October’s missile room, but the saboteur is not as reserved in his discretion to shoot, firing and missing numerous times at Ryan and Ramius. Ryan is ultimately successful in shooting the KGB plant and thus bringing the ship out of danger.
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “You have taken care of the little fish. I will take care of the one that got away.”
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
What is this?
THETENCOMMANDMENTS
NCOMMANDMENTS
E
T
E
H
T
ANSWER: Bending the rules…..
Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 
I’ve been to more countries than you’ll ever see.
I’ve been to church every Sunday.
I’ve been folded, pressed, even stuffed inside leather.
I’ve been dreamt about, coveted, and fought over.
People want me, yet despise me.
I have no true purpose except to travel.
I have no true mission in life except to be given and taken.
I have no true identity since I am but a clone.
I have no true name since I bear only the names of others.
People see my face and see another’s face as well.
I am life to some.
I am death to others.
I am common as grass.
I am sometimes as rare as the perfect sunset.
People rely on me more than almost anything else.
What am I?
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  

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