Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday August 23, 2013.  Funny Greeting Cards – Outside n Inside…

1. I always wanted to have someone, someone to love. And now that you’ve
come into my life…
(Inside card) – I’ve changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life…
(Inside card) – I never believed in Hell until I met you.
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am….
(Inside card) – That you’re not here to ruin it for me ..
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go….
(Inside card) – Will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably need
it again.
5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….
(Inside card) – Almost lifelike!
6. When we were together, you said you’d die for me…
(Inside card) – Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your promise.
7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy….
(Inside card) – Did you ever find out who the father was?
8. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday…
(Inside card) – So we’re having you put to sleep.
9. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can’t help but
wonder…..
(Inside card) – What the hell was I thinking
10. I’m so miserable without you…
(Inside card) – It’s almost like you’re still here.
11. Thank you for being part of my life…..
(Inside card) – I never knew what evil was until I met you!
12. Congratulations on your wedding day!
(Inside card) – Too bad no one likes your husband.
13. How can I say this….
(Inside card) – Your cooking kills me
14. I just want you to know that I’m sorry for what happened…
(Inside card) – Especially since you survived.
15. Congrats on getting married…
(Inside card) – It’s not everyday you decide to ruin your life.
16. Someday I hope to marry…
(inside card) – Someone other than you.
17. We have been friends for a very long time…
(inside card) – What do you say we stop?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have an great weekend people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“A study has found that some people can suffer symptoms of withdrawal when they are forced to stay away from social media sites. This is why I’m not even on Facebook. I update my high school yearbook manually with a pen.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Recently, in one of the New York City subway cars, they found a dead shark. This is bad for the city. People used to laugh at me for carrying a spear gun on the subway, but who’s laughing now?” -Dave Letterman
 
“Today is Thursday. Or what I like to call on Friday, ‘yesterday.'” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A young man had just graduated from Harvard and was so excited just thinking about his future.
He gets into a taxi and the driver says, “How are you this fine day?”
“I’m the Class of 2012, just graduated from Harvard and I just can’t wait to go out there and see what the world has in store for me.”
“Congratulations,” said the driver reaching back to shake the young man’s hand. “I’m Mitch. Harvard Class of ’79.”
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “There can’t be a seventh Sixth Chick; it’s just mathematically impossible.” and “Thirty and flirty and thriving.”
 
Answer: “13 Going On 30” is about a 13 year old girl called Jenna who wishes she were 30 because she hates being 13. However, it actually happens to her and she wakes up to find she is 30, and has to find out about her life, with the help of Matt who was her best friend for part of her school life.
 
Matt says the first quote to Jenna when she is 13 and she wants to hang around with the popular girls, the Six Chicks, at school. Matt does not want Jenna to behave like the Six Chicks, who are the popular, fashionable girls. Instead, he wants Jenna to be herself and learn to accept herself as she is. Jenna says the second quote whilst she reads a magazine article about being 30. She also says it over and over again when she wishes she were 30 instead of 13. “Thirty and flirty and thriving” basically sums up what Jenna wishes to be like. She thinks the 30s will be the best years of her life. 
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “The machine is still on Moira” 
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is this?
Interrogator.”Who stole the gold?”
Parsley.”…”
Sage. “…”
Rosemary. “…”
Thyme. “It was Basil.”
ANSWER: Only time will tell. lit. Only the herb Thyme (time) will tell who stole the gold.
Friday’s Quizzler is………. 
A group of tourists visits a museum. The museum’s main attraction is a large diamond. After the tourists visit, the museum guard finds out the diamond has been stolen. The police get all the tourists who visited the exhibit and put them in a room. Unknown to them, the diamond has been covered with a solution that turns green when it comes in contact with salt. The detective who questions them tells his assistant to turn up the furnace. Why does he do this?
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  

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