Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday August 22, 2013.  Why English Is So Difficult Part TWO(2)..

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine In pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wiseguy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
If Dad is Pop, how come! Mom isn’t Mop?
GO FIGURE! That’s American English.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have an great Thursday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
– George Burns

“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”
– Louisa May Alcott

“You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.”

– Wayne Gretzky
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Two campers were aroused one night by the sounds of a huge bear tearing up their campsite. Realizing that the bear would soon make its way to their tent, they started planning their strategy. One of the campers started putting on shoes.
His buddy said “Hey, even with shoes on you ll never outrun that bear”.
He replied “I don t *have* to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun *you*”.
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “You know, most kids hope for a car for their 16th birthday, not a country!” and “This is between a waltz and a tango.” “It’s a wango?”
 
Answer: “Princess Diaries” is about Mia Thermopolis – a 15 year old girl who finds out that she is the princess of Genovia. It involves Mia taking princess lessons and choosing for herself whether or not she actually wants to rule Genovia. With the help of her grandmother, Queen Clarisse, and Joe, her chauffeur, she learns how to be a princess and how to behave. It’s very amusing!
 
Mia says the first quote to her grandmother Queen Clarisse. Mia is not happy when she first finds out that she is a princess. She just wants a normal life, which in this case involves hoping that she will get a car when she turns 16 so she can drive. Instead Mia realises it is more likely that she will get to rule Genovia. The second quote is said by Joe when he is teaching Mia to dance in a Genovian manner, and Mia replies “It’s a wango?”. Her reply shows that she is still young – yet she is supposed to be old enough to rule a country soon! 
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “There can’t be a seventh Sixth Chick; it’s just mathematically impossible.” and “Thirty and flirty and thriving.”
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have the initial sounds switched to form new words. For example, “churning bear” is a spoonerism for “burning chair” (note that the pairs do not have to be spelled the same – only sound the same). From the definitions below, can you figure out the spoonerism pairs?
 
1. Thumper’s cellphone…mis-named nerve.
2. Where to buy a mallard…jammed portal.
3. Grizzly relative…two pin-lovers.
4. Sad iguana…Merlin slam-dunking.
5. Wasp accelerates…Half a six-pack.
 
ANSWER: 1. Bunny phone…funny bone.
2. Duck store…stuck door.
3. Polar bear…bowler pair.
4. Weeping lizard…leaping wizard.
5. Bee throttles…three bottles.
Thursday’s Quizzler is………. 
What phrase is this?
Interrogator.”Who stole the gold?”
Parsley.”…”
Sage. “…”
Rosemary. “…”
Thyme. “It was Basil.”
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 

 

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