Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday August 5, 2013.  Some Logical Thoughts & Statements..

 
Whenever you find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
_____
 
To Err is human, but to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
_____
 
The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
_____
 
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
_____
 
In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you have ability to repay back.
_____
 
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
_____
 
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
_____
 
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.
_____
 
If at first you don’t succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
_____
 
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
_____
 
Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
_____
 
42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot.
_____
 
As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.
_____
 
He who has the gold, makes the rules —- Murphy’s golden rule.
_____
 
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.
_____
 
Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
_____
 
When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
_____
 
If you have paper, you don’t have a pen. If you have a pen, you don’t have paper. If you have both, no one calls.
_____
 
Especially for engg. Students : If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
_____
 
You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
_____
 
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
_____
 
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
_____
 
If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
_____
 
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
_____
 
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide whether you need more.
_____
 
There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.
_____
 
An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
_____
 
Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
_____
 
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
_____
 
When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
_____
 
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
_____
 
Well done is better than well said .
_____
 
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
_____
 
Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY, Where there is MONEY, there are many WAYS.
_____
 
Where there is MONEY, there are many FRIENDS and RELATIVES.
_____
 
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Albert Einstein
Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.
George Eliot
The temple of art is built in words.
J. G. Holland
Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature’s inexorable imperative.
H. G. Wells
Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.
Helen Hayes
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school,
which leave 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
This leaves 19 million to do the work.
4 million are in the Armed Forces,
which leaves 15 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.
There are 188,000 in hospitals,
so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons.
That leaves Just two people to do the work. You and me.
And you’re just sitting there reading jokes all day!
 
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “Did you know that there are four hundred and fifty-two official government cheeses in this country? Don’t you think that’s incredible? To come up with four hundred and fifty-two ways of classifying what is basically a bacterial process?”
 
Answer: French Kiss! This observation, by lactose intolerant Kate (Meg Ryan), takes place while she is speaking to the French man Luc (Kevin Kline) about the overabundance of types of cheese recognized in France. Luc scoffs back that Americans would prefer one type of cheese.
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ” “Back where I come from there are men who do nothing all day but good deeds. They are called phila… er, phila… er, yes, er, Good Deed Doers.”
 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
What is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 1/2 goat? 
 
ANSWER: Chicago.
 
3/7 chicken= CHI
2/3 cat = CA
1/2 goat= GO  
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is………. 
What phrase is this?
 
Last Will and Testament of Mr. Fortune:
 
I hereby leave the following;
 
To Roman Soldier : Nothing
To Viking Chief : Nothing
To Native American Warrior : Everything.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 

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