Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday July 26, 2013.   

A Hilarious Mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails
I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011 and 2012 and continuing it in 2013 also…….
Because of your kindness:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it’s good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc…..
* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer…
* I don’t leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo…
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a Can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times…. (Poor girl! she’s been 7 since 1993…)
* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle’s property of $ 100 million and the FBI who wants to approve the deal but needs $5,000 dollars to get the job done. So much trustworthy.
* I have forwarded 35 emails to 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now.
NOW IMPORTANT NOTE :
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will Pee on your head today at 6:30pm.
Nothing has happened till now………………….. but who knows. So please forward.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“According to a new study, lying gets easier over time. People get better at lying the more they do it. See, that’s why you have to have term limits.” -Jay Leno
“The royal baby has been born. The royal baby was officially welcomed with a 62-gun salute. Because if there’s one thing babies love, it’s the sound of repeated artillery fire.” -Conan O’Brien
“A new report says that Audis are more likely to be driven by men who cheat on their wives. While their wives are more likely to wind up with that Audi.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
My wife was in her gynecologist’s busy waiting room when a cell phone rang. A woman answered it, and for the next few minutes, she explained to her caller in intimate detail her symptoms and what she suspected might be wrong.
Suddenly the conversation shifted, and the woman said, “Him? I’m finished with him.” Then she added, “Can we talk about this later? It’s rather personal, and I’m in a room full of people.”
 
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “You see, drinking is a matter of algebraic ratio. How drunk you get is caused by the amount of alcohol you consume in relation to your total body weight. You see my point? It’s not that you had too much to drink. You’re just too skinny.”
 
Answer: Splash! This quote by Freddie (John Candy) takes place in a bar that he has taken his depressed brother Alan (Tom Hanks) to, to forget about his
fiancee leaving him. 
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “The Internet is a communication tool used the world over, where people can come together to criticize movies and share pornography with one another.” 
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
A potato’s key tool, I have all the power.
I am generally used on the half or full hour.
If my cells were deceased or lost or the such,
My partner would only respond to your touch.
 
What am I? 
 
ANSWER: A television remote control.
 
Often used by a “couch potato”.
Channels are most often changed between programs, which end on the hour or half-hour.
If you lose the batteries, the only way to control the TV is by hand.  
 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is………. 
What is this phrase?
 
19 1 6 5 20 25

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 

 

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