Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

918D35B15DF38226BB11E7494E6F6_h316_w628_m5_cAFEbVcuVWELCOME to Tuesday July 2, 2013.  If My Body Were a Car – by an Old Man…
This is just too funny – scary how true it is!!!
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull…
But that’s not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it’s especially hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here’s the worst of it,
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter,
Either My Radiator Leaks or My Exhaust Backfires!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“Scientists have discovered that men are genetically programmed to look at other women. So sorry, ladies, it’s science. I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do.” -Conan O’Brien
“A new survey found that half of all American employees have faked a sick day. While the other half have just lied on a survey.” -Jimmy Fallon
“You folks know anything about climate change? I used to know a little bit about it but I don’t care anymore. There’s nothing we can do about it. But on the bright side, I’ve got a closet full of short-sleeved shirts I don’t otherwise get to wear.” -David Letterman
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
I had noticed that my 60-year-old father seemed to be losing his hearing, so I mentioned it to my mother. 
 
“Things haven’t changed that much,” she said. “The only difference is, before he didn’t listen to me. Now, he can’t.”  
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “There is a flip side to that coin. What if you do got me boxed in and I gotta put you down? Cause no matter what, you will not get in my way. We’ve been face to face, yeah but I will not hesitate, not for a second.”
 
 Answer: “Heat” is the first time that Robert De Niro and Al Pacino have ever acted together. The film tells the story of a lonely expert thief, Neil McCauley and a world weary LA detective, Vincent Hanna who longs for some direction in his life. The great Michael Mann is the director and the ending is so very poignant.
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “So then, if you spot me comin’ round that corner…you just gonna walk out on this woman? Not say goodbye?”
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
What is the meaning of this rebus?
 
cannon
ordnance
artillery
torpedo 
 
ANSWER: Coat of Arms (weapons are known as arms, the first letter of each arm combine to spell “coat”)
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 
Following are groups of three words. Can you figure out the common link within each group? 
 
Example: Hurricane, camera, needle (answer: eyes)
 
1: Barber, Rooster, Beehive
2: Bowling Alley, Tailor, Wrestling Match
3: Telephone, Deck of Cards, Car Trunk
4: Fishing Rod, Actor, Checkout Counter
5: Watermelon, Tennis Tournament, Idea
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,

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