1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you have to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings”.
3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness”.
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a really bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens… somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises & things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution & is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
11. Never lick a steak knife.
12. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
13. “The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
15. Your REAL friends still love you anyway.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.
Lovers who love truly do not write down their happiness.
Lesser artists borrow, great artists steal.
The love of gardening is a seed once sown that never dies.
She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years.
J. B. Priestley
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
3 men where at the FBI Building for a job interview. The first man walked into the office. The interviewing FBI agent said “To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.”
The man took the gun, hesitated, and said “Sorry, I can’t do it.”
The next interviewee came into the office. The agent said “To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.”
The man took the gun, walked into the room, then walked back out. “Sorry,” he said.
The last man came into the office. This guy really wanted the job. The interviewer said “To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all.
Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.”
The man took the gun and went into the room. The agent heard 6 shots, silence, then a lot of screaming.
Shortly, the man came out of the room and said “Someone loaded the gun with blanks, so I beat her to death with the curtain railing!”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Aim small, miss small,”
Answer: “The Patriot” is a terrific period costume movie, set among the 18th century revolutionary war between America and the British. It tells the story of a veteran of the French and Indian war, Benjamin Martin, who is left with seven children, after his wife dies in childbirth. His oldest son wants to sign up and eventually does, much to the horror of his father. The blood bath that ensues has the veteran losing two of his sons.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “There’s no good reason, there’s no bad reason to live or die.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
I am full of shimmer and shine.
Every color of the rainbow shows
yet I am clear.
When I appear there is fun for all
but I always disappear. What Am I?
ANSWER: Soap Bubble
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
At the wedding reception, there are five guests, Colin, Emily, Kate, Fred, and Irene, who are not sure where to sit at the dinner table. They ask the bride’s mother, who responds, “As I remember, Colin is not next to Kate, Emily is not next to Fred or Kate.Neither Kate or Emily are next to Irene. And Fred should sit on Irene’s left.” As you look at them from the opposite side of the table, can you correctly seat the guests from left to right?
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS AND MS. KIM HILLYARD! INCREDIBLE SOLVING LADIES!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,