Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

download (29)WELCOME to Tuesday June 18, 2013.  Parent’s Answering Machine… 

Good morning ….
At present we are not at home,
but please leave your message
after you hear the beep.
Beeeeeppp …
If you are one of our children, press 1
and then select the option from
1 to 5 in order of “arrival” so we know who it is.
If you need us to stay with the children, press 2
If you want to borrow the car, press 3
If you want us to wash your clothes and ironing, press 4
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6
If you want us to prepare a meal for
Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7
If you want to come to eat here, press 8
If you need money, press 9
If you are going to invite us to dinner, or taking us to the theater, start talking … We are listening !!!!!!!!!!!”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“Father’s Day is on Sunday. The first Father’s Day was celebrated in 1910. Before that, there were no fathers.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“According to a new study, as much as 81 percent of people lie on online dating websites. Researchers said they were surprised by how many people actually hate long walks on the beach at sunset.” -Jay Leno
“Opening this weekend is ‘Man of Steel.’ The whole movie, if you go to see it � this is a spoiler alert � is Superman complaining about having to fly friends to the airport.” -David Letterman
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Hygiene is in the eye of the beholder, I have decided. One lunchtime I watched the woman in the sandwich shop spreading mayonnaise on my bread, and noticed part of her grubby work shirt was dragging across it. “Excuse me,” I ventured, “your sleeve is in the mayo.”
 
“No problem,” she reassured me. “I need to wash it anyway.”  
 
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “Mister Hart, here is a dime. Take it, call your mother and tell her there is serious doubt about you ever becoming a lawyer.”
 
 Answer: The Paper Chase! This quote takes place in the scene where Kingfield (Houseman) humiliates Hart (Timothy Bottoms) in front of his law school classmates. 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “So I ask you, when someone goes into that chapel and they fall on their knees and they pray to God that their wife doesn’t miscarry or that their daughter doesn’t bleed to death or that their mother doesn’t suffer acute neural trauma from post-operative shock, who do you think they’re praying to? Now, go ahead and read your Bible, Dennis, and you go to your church and, with any luck, you might win the annual raffle. But if you’re looking for God, he was in operating room number two on November 17, and he doesn’t like to be second guessed. You ask me if I have a God complex. Let me tell you something: I am God.”
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Determine the ones place value of the product of the first 1000 prime numbers. (What number would be in the ones position if you multiplied all of the first 1000 prime numbers together?)  
 
ANSWER:  ZERO. Any numbers multiplied by 2 and 5 (which are prime) result in a zero in the ones place.
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 
What loses its head every morning and gets it back at night?
 
 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,
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