WELCOME to Thursday June 20, 2013. The Economy……..
So how bad is the economy really doing, you ask?
Jury Duty is now considered a good-paying job.
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
African television stations are now showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials!
I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”
CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
My ATM gave me an IOU!
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with the purchase was a bank.
If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald’s is now selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned the names of their children.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
Motel Six won’t leave the light on for you anymore.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They renamed Wall Street ” Wal-Mart Street .”
One of the casinos in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required.”
– Sir Winston Churchill
“Always listen to experts. They’ll tell you what can’t be done and why. Then do it.”
– Robert Heinlein
“A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.”
– Charlotte Bronte
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the churchyard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the preacher to the health department.
They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department. The sanitation manager said he could not pick up the mule without authorization from the mayor. Now the preacher knew the mayor and was not to eager to call him. The mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to deal with, but the preacher called him anyway. The mayor did not disappoint. He immediately began to rant and rave at the pastor and finally said, “Why did you call me anyway? Isn’t it your job to bury the dead?” The preacher paused for a brief prayer and asked the Lord to direct his response.
He was led to say, “Yes, Mayor, it is my job to bury the dead, but I always like to notify the next of kin first!”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Nothing like a good piece of hickory.”
Answer: Pale Rider! “Pale Rider” is a classic Clint Eastwood western. It has the same mysticism as “High Plains Drifter” and you are never really sure if he is a man, or the ghost of a man. As it turned out he was the “Angel of Death” who had arrived to help a small gold mining community fight against a ruthless tycoon who wanted all the gold for himself.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “I got Harlem, I took care of Harlem so Harlem’s gonna take care of me.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
I still have 7 more things to put away and time is running out fast. Next I decide to put away the giant’s board games.
The colors of the board games are blue, brown, green, orange, purple, red, and yellow.
1. Purple is somewhere to the left of green.
2. Red is next to blue.
3. Brown is 3 away from blue (2 between).
4. Yellow is 2 away from red.
5. Blue is in the middle.
6. Orange is directly between yellow and purple.
ANSWER: From left to right, the order of the board games are: purple, orange, yellow, blue, red, green, and brown.
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
One snowy night, Sherlock Holmes was in his house sitting by a fire. All of a sudden a snowball came crashing through his window, breaking it. Holmes got up and looked out the window just in time to see three neighborhood kids who were brothers run around a corner. Their names were John Crimson, Mark Crimson and Paul Crimson.
The next day Holmes got a note on his door that read “? Crimson. He broke your window.”
Which of the three Crimson brothers should Sherlock Holmes question about the incident?