Funny things that can be learned from the bible and applied to life.
1) Don’t miss the boat.
2) Remember that we are all in the same boat.
3) Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.
4) Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
5) Build your future on high ground.
6) For safety’s sake, always travel in pairs.
7) Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
8) When you’re stressed, float a while.
9) Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A new study found that our happiness peaks in our late 80s. Mainly because all the people who annoyed you are dead by then.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn’t sound too bad to me. You’d probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“I admit that I get angry in traffic when driving to work. But it’s pointless. It’s much better to bottle up that anger and then unleash it when you get to work.” -Craig Ferguson
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
“Do you remember first meeting your wife?” “Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised her that if she agreed to marry me, she would begin a new life and I’d never allow her near the gutter again.” “Wow, what an incredible story! I hope she appreciates what you did for her.” “Not really. Even though she stunk at it, Jill hated to give up bowling.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”
Answer: Taken! This quote by Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) takes place in the scene shortly after his daughter Kim (Maggie Grace) has been kidnapped. Mills says this quote as he speaks briefly to her abductor.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “No, Roland… I crashed my van into Jesus! Okay? I have a pimple the size of Jupiter! I am NOT okay! This is not how I wanted to remember my Prom. This is not how I wanted to remember my life.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What kind of poem am I?
(12 + 144 + 20 + (3 x (4^.5)))/7 + 5 x 11 = (9 ^2) + 0
ANSWER: A mathematical limerick!
A dozen a gross and a score,
Plus three times the square root of four,
Divided by seven,
Plus five times eleven,
Is nine squared and not a bit more!
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet.
He turns to the rich man and says to him,
“I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.”
The rich man laughs.
The poor man says, “I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady’s name of your choice in it.”
The rich man laughs again and says, “OK, how about my daughter’s name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?”
The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.
What song did he sing?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.