Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Thursday February 28, 2013. UP…..

I hope you will enjoy this.

Here is the one word in the English language that can be a noun, verb, adj, adv, prep.

UP

This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is’UP.’ It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.

At other times, this little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page

and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now … . my time is UP!

Don’t screw UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book . . . or not .. . . it’s UP to you.

Now I’ll shut UP! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

Look back, and smile on perils past. Walter Scott

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. Dr. Seuss

A warm smile is the universal language of kindness. William Arthur Ward

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. Phyllis Diller

A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.
Denis Waitley

Be thou the rainbow in the storms of life. The evening beam that smiles the clouds away, and tints tomorrow with prophetic ray. Lord Byron

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.
Thomas Paine

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A census taker walked up to a woman who was sitting on a porch. After introducing himself, he said, “How many children do you have?” The woman answered, “Four.” The census taker asked, “May I have their names, please?” The woman replied, “Eenie, Meenie, Minie, and George.” Confused, the census taker said, “May I ask why you named your fourth child ‘George’?” “Surely, because we didn’t want any Moe.”

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘MIKE! Dude, there’s this chick out there…these two chicks…they’re triplets, man!’

Answer: “Can’t Hardly Wait” mainly takes place during a graduation party. Its main character, Preston, tries to figure out how to give a love letter to its recipient, Amanda. This is said by William to Mike Dexter, while trying to persuade him to come out to the pool house where his friends are planning to jump him.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Do you realize that if we played by the rules right now we’d be in gym? ‘

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Decipher this phrase-

NHAPPY

ANSWER: Unhappy without you

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
All except one of the following words have something in common. What is common and which one doesn’t belong?

Sovreign
Abcess
Innocuous
Innoculate
Committment
Embarass

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

61DBA49C0FFA4BFFB606C6ED64A62_h316_w628_m5_cpTNebdGIWELCOME to Wednesday February 27, 2013. Strange United States Laws…..

In Ottumwa, Iowa, “It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted.”

In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.

In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.

In Carmel, N.Y., a man can’t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.

In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.

In Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.

In Miami, it’s illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

In St. Louis, it’s illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.

In Detroit, couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is
parked on the couple’s own property.

In Hartford, Conn., you aren’t allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands.

In Baltimore, it’s illegal to take a lion to the movies.

In Oxford, Ohio, it’s illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man’s picture.

In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t get lost in the snow and don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
– Yogi Berra

“Without tenderness, a man is uninteresting.”
– Marlene Dietrich

“In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
– George Orwell

“A seventh grade teacher in California was arrested for teaching while drunk. Which is why an entire Earth Science class now thinks hurricanes are formed when rum collides with lime juice, passion fruit, and crushed ice in a hot pink souvenir cup from Senor Frog’s.” -Jimmy Fallon

“According to the new study, women talk almost three times as much as men. Well, you know why? Because they know men aren’t listening the first two times.” -Jay Leno

“Japanese researchers have successfully grown hair on a bald mouse. The researchers are ecstatic, and the mouse is relieved he doesn’t have to keep wearing that stupid toupee.” -Conan O’Brien

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
While in the checkout line at my local hardware store I overheard one man say to another, “My wife has been after me to paint our shed. But I let it go for so long she got mad and did it herself.” His friend nodded. “I like women who get mad like that.”

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Hi. I’m Earth. Have we met?’

Answer: Tommy Boy! “Tommy Boy” is about a man, Tommy Callaghan, continuing his father’s business trip after his father passes away. He and Richard Hayden, his father’s employee, visit various places and go through many ordeals together. This is said by Richard to a woman who works at the airport. After he asks her to put him on a plane to Chicago as soon as possible. She suggests putting him on a plane coming BACK from Chicago and then asks if this helps. He responds with this quote, clearly thinking it is a very stupid suggestion.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘MIKE! Dude, there’s this chick out there…these two chicks…they’re triplets, man!’

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) canine fur & porcine challenge
2) rock toss & to pack up royal furniture
3) arsonist’s desire & to battle a fibber
4) underground amphibian & bar rules

ANSWER: 1) dog hair & hog dare
2) throw a stone & stow a throne
3) light a fire & fight a liar
4) cavern toad & tavern code

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Decipher this phrase-

NHAPPY

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! INCREDIBLE SOLVING JOB BANKS!

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

34AAEA13F519C51BC02C861377637_h316_w628_m5_cVGKXglJVWELCOME to Tuesday February 26, 2013. Knowledge gained from the movies…..

1) During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

2) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

3) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

4) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

5) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom still still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

6) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

7) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

8) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t get lost in the snow and don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A new study found that dogs are smarter than cats because their friendliness has helped them develop bigger brains. Cat people would complain about the findings, but that would involve interacting with other humans.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Scientists at the University of Maryland say they have found a chemical that causes women to talk more than men. It’s called red wine.” -Jay Leno

“It is no secret that our economy is in the dumpster, because our economy knows the dumpster is where you can sometimes find old muffins.” -Stephen Colbert

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Our friends, James and Florence, attend choir practice Wednesday evenings, and often head for a restaurant afterwards with their fellow choir members. Florence soon noticed that every time she had a glass of wine, it was followed by a severe migraine headache. James agreed with her that it might be better if she abstained, and so she did. On one post choir occasion, however, Florence decided, after some hesitation, to try a different variety of wine. Some time passed with no consequences. Then she waved happily across the big table where her colleagues all sat and while holding up the empty wine glass announced in a loud voice, “James! I don’t have a headache tonight!”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. ‘Tis a silly place.’

Answer: Monty Python and the Holy Grail! “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” is a 70’s movie that mainly spoofs the legend of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table as they search for the Holy Grail. The finally make it to Camelot and when Arthur says to ‘ride on to Camelot’, it shows the knights singing a song about spending their time in Camelot and what they do there, while also showing them dancing on tables and drumming on other knights’ helmets. This quote is said by Arthur after the song is over.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Hi. I’m Earth. Have we met?’

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
I quietly sit and wait
until someone moves my plate.
By then, it’s much too late
and nothing will escape
the destruction I create
because I am now awake.
Sorry, but you can’t close my gate.
My wrath you cannot sedate.
I’m not picky about what I take.
But, this promise I do make,
I always give back a rebate.
It’s best if you leave in great haste,
because next it’s you that I’ll taste!

What am I?

ANSWER: A Volcano! Plate referred to above is geological theory wherein the earth is divided into a small number of “plates” which fit on and travel independently over the mantle and much of the earth’s seismic activity occurs here. Thus, in the teaser when someone moves my plate (referring to natural causes i.e. Mother Nature) the movement or shift of that “plate” can cause seismic activity which can awaken a dormant volcano by allowing built up pressure in the form of steam and molten or hot rock to explode through vents opened when “plates” shifted or moved. The “rebate” is the land mass created as the molten rock (lava) travels and then cools. It is believed that portions of the Islands of Hawaii were created in such a manner.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) canine fur & porcine challenge
2) rock toss & to pack up royal furniture
3) arsonist’s desire & to battle a fibber
4) underground amphibian & bar rules

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

988ED7EEB0654D17495CBF3D0865A_h316_w628_m5_cpdFCVtwKWELCOME to Monday February 25, 2013. Puns of the day…..
1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

2. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

3. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

4. It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

5. I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

6. I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.

7. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

8. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass’.

9. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

10. I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do today, don’t get lost in the snow and don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“It’s a great day for a bunch of thieves in Belgium. They got away with more than $50 million worth of pure, uncut diamonds. This diamond heist is the biggest robbery ever pulled off at an airport if you don’t count them charging $25 to check a bag.” -Craig Ferguson

“A college student in Pennsylvania is suing her school for the C+ she got in a class. She said, ‘I’m suing whoever’s responsible for this!’ And her professor said, ‘Don’t you mean WHOMEVER?'” -Jimmy Fallon

“A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashers than drunk people. Then again, it’s easier to see what is coming when you’re driving at 11 miles-an-hour.” -Conan O’Brien

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
In the small, family-owned store in Spokane, Washington where I work, we often get folks from out of town whose idioms are a little different from our own. One day, after parking her car across the street in an attended lot, a young woman came in. She made her purchase and then asked, “Do you give validation?” Without batting an eye, my manager replied, “You are an excellent, successful person, and I love your hair.”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “With the All Spark gone, we cannot return life to our planet. And fate has yielded its reward: a new world to call home. We live among its people now, hiding in plain sight, but watching over them in secret, waiting, protecting. I have witnessed their capacity for courage, and though we are worlds apart, like us, there’s more to them than meets the eye. I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message to any surviving Autobots taking refuge among the stars. We are here. We are waiting.”?

Answer: “Transformers” (2007) tells the story of two groups of alien robots, the Autobots (good guys) and Decepticons (bad guys), whose feud travels from their home planet, Cybertron, to Earth. They are fighting over the powerful All Spark, which gives life to machines; the Autobots fear that the Decepticons would do evil things with it. In the final battle at the end of the movie, Sam (Shia LaBeouf) destroys the All Spark while simultaneously killing Megatron, the leader of the Decepticons. Most of the Decepticons are killed in the battle, and the Autobots remain behind on Earth, disguised as vehicles. In his ending monologue, the leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime, issues a call for any Autobots lost in space to come to Earth and join them. We meet some of these Autobots who seek refuge on Earth in the 2009 sequel “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. ‘Tis a silly place.’

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Each statement describes two words that when fused together create a new unrelated word (not a compound word). The clues do not necessarily indicate in which order the two words are attached. Example: This is the oldness of a tablet (pill + age = pillage).

1) This is a child of the ocean.
2) This is when an insect runs away to get married.
3) This is the monotone melody of a writing instrument.
4) This is the charge for setting a fractured bone.

ANSWER: 1) sea + son = season 2) ant + elope = antelope 3) pen + chant = penchant
4) cast + rate = castrate

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
I quietly sit and wait
until someone moves my plate.
By then, it’s much too late
and nothing will escape
the destruction I create
because I am now awake.
Sorry, but you can’t close my gate.
My wrath you cannot sedate.
I’m not picky about what I take.
But, this promise I do make,
I always give back a rebate.
It’s best if you leave in great haste,
because next it’s you that I’ll taste!

What am I?

THE QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! SUPER SOLVING JOB KIM!

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

2_Feet_Of_SnowWELCOME to Thursday February 21, 2013. SNOW DAY, The Sky is Falling Again……

Once again Chicken Little the weather forecast guy is running around St. Louis giving the weather forecast that the sky is filled with snow, rain and sleet and it is falling! There’s a storm coming! All week this city has been preparing! The streets are filled with salt, salt, and more salt! The side are covered with…..wait for it…..salt! People have commenced to commit a run on the supermarkets and buy everything that they need to be able to survive inside there homes during this terrible storm. Schools are closed the City hall offices have been shut down and on top of all that the governor of the mighty state of Missouri have commenced to calling this a state of emergency.

Now with all of this commotion going on you would think that the sky is rightfully falling! The truth of the matter is that we have received a whole lot-ta nothing! If you look outside, it’s doing nothing! I find it amazing that the weather forecast person is the only job WHERE YOU CAN BE TOTALLY WRONG and still keep your job! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do today, don’t get lost in the snow and don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Nothing you can’t spell will ever work.”
– Will Rogers

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.”
– Duke Ellington

“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”
– Mark Twain

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
My wife and I were going through a rough patch financially, but we kept ourselves same by repeating, “As long as we have each other, we don’t need anything else.” But when the television in our bedroom broke and we couldn’t afford to repair or replace it, my wife lost it. “That’s just great!” she shouted. “Now there’s no entertainment in our bedroom at all!”

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “It is lovely! You know, you’re really quite a decorator. It’s amazing what you’ve done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder, that is a nice boulder!”?

Answer: Shrek! In “Shrek” (2001), Shrek the ogre teams up with Donkey, a talking donkey, to rescue a princess, Fiona. Shrek does this as a favor for Lord Farquuad, so that Farquuad will clear all the fairy tale creatures out of Shrek’s swamp, where he lives. Donkey sees Shrek’s swamp and shack when he first meets Shrek and follows him home. He first says the place looks like a dump, not realizing that it was Shrek’s home, then tries to cover it up with compliments. “Shrek” was followed by “Shrek 2” (2004) and “Shrek the Third” (2007).

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “With the All Spark gone, we cannot return life to our planet. And fate has yielded its reward: a new world to call home. We live among its people now, hiding in plain sight, but watching over them in secret, waiting, protecting. I have witnessed their capacity for courage, and though we are worlds apart, like us, there’s more to them than meets the eye. I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message to any surviving Autobots taking refuge among the stars. We are here. We are waiting.”?

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
The following are colloquialisms/idioms written in their literal form. This time though, there are only three that you need to find.

Example: A Panthera Pardus is incapable of altering its texture. (A leopard can’t change its spots)

1. In the general area, but failing to acquire the roll of tobacco.

2. Please pardon my accidental use of a romance language derived from Latin.

3. Direct your attention to the melodic tones currently occurring.

ANSWER: 1. Close but no Cigar–This means to come close to succeeding, but not quite reaching your goal.

2. Excuse my French–This is a term used when someone curses at an inappropriate time.

3. Face the Music–This means to accept what will happen, instead of running from it or denying it.

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Each statement describes two words that when fused together create a new unrelated word (not a compound word). The clues do not necessarily indicate in which order the two words are attached. Example: This is the oldness of a tablet (pill + age = pillage).

1) This is a child of the ocean.
2) This is when an insect runs away to get married.
3) This is the monotone melody of a writing instrument.
4) This is the charge for setting a fractured bone.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

thumb-741-200WELCOME to Wednesday February 20, 2013. A Message by George Carlin……

A Message by George Carlin:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete…

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember, to say, ‘I love you’ to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don’t send this to at least 8 people….Who cares?

George Carlin.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“According to a new poll, 50 percent of Americans think the country is divided. The other 50 percent think it isn’t.” -Jay Leno

“A man in Georgia was arrested for stealing a Krispy Kreme doughnut truck and leading police on a high-speed chase. The police charged him with one count of grand theft irony.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A survey by the national retail foundation said that some people even give their fish Valentine’s Day gifts. A good way to tell that you’ve lost your mind is if you give your fish a Valentine’s Day gift.” –Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
The summer after college graduation, I was living at home, fishing in the daytime, spending nights with my friends–generally just hanging out. One afternoon my grandfather, who never went to college, stopped by.
Concerned with how I was spending my time, he asked about my future plans. I told him I was in no hurry to tie myself down to a career. “Well,” he replied, “you better start thinking about it. You’ll be thirty before you know it.”
“But I’m closer to twenty than to thirty,” I protested. “I won’t be thirty for eight more years.” “I see,” he said, smiling. “And when will you be 20 again?”

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I can see the Statue of Liberty already! … It’s very small, of course.”

Answer: Titanic! In “Titanic” (1997), Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Rose (Kate Winslet), of different social classes, meet and fall in love on board the ill-fated ship. Fabrizio (Danny Nucci) is Jack’s friend who wins Titanic tickets in a poker game with Jack. He claims to be able to see the Statue of Liberty right after the ship sets sail, when he and Jack are first checking out the ocean view on the ship’s deck (right before Jack yells out “I’m the king of the world!”).

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “It is lovely! You know, you’re really quite a decorator. It’s amazing what you’ve done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder, that is a nice boulder!”?

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
I can run swiftly and silently when you want me to stay still,
I can move slowly and cautiously and am yours to fill.
You look at me often and yet you always forget me,
I am the most feared killer, yet you can’t live without me.
Sometimes you have me for all to spare,
Yet when you need me, I am not there.
You can waste me, or cherish me, you choose the track,
But once you’re done you can never get me back.

ANSWER: Time

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
The following are colloquialisms/idioms written in their literal form. This time though, there are only three that you need to find.

Example: A Panthera Pardus is incapable of altering its texture. (A leopard can’t change its spots)

1. In the general area, but failing to acquire the roll of tobacco.

2. Please pardon my accidental use of a romance language derived from Latin.

3. Direct your attention to the melodic tones currently occurring.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

65507_534700449896233_1281767843_nWELCOME to Tuesday February 19, 2013. What CONFUCIUS Didn’t Say!

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman’s’ leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get no peace at night.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.

Finally CONFUCIUS SAY. . …… “Lion will not cheat on wife, but a Tiger Wood!”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“The other night President Obama gave his State of the Union address. This year is a real break with tradition. When the president walked into the chamber, instead of ‘Hail to the Chief,’ they played ‘Hey, Big Spender.'” -Jay Leno

“The trend this year is couples saying they don’t need to get each other anything for Valentine’s Day, because they love each other EVERY day. I think that’s sweet, but to all the guys out there watching, I just want to say it’s a trap!” -Jimmy Fallon

“The Vatican said that as soon as the Pope resigns, he will no longer be infallible. The Vatican said it’s the same thing that happened to Oprah.” -Conan O’Brien

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists’ canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches. Customer: “Can you please cut some canvas for me?” Me: “Certainly, what width?”
Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) “Scissors?”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Did Doogie Howser just steal my car?

Answer: “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” (2004) is about two stoner friends’ quest to get to White Castle, as they encounter multiple obstacles along the way. John Cho stars as Harold, and Kal Penn stars as Kumar.
One problem they experience while trying to get to White Castle is when they pick up Neil Patrick Harris (who plays a fictionalized version of himself), who is hitchhiking on the side of the road. When they stop for gas and directions, NPH takes off in Harold’s car. A sequel, “Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay” was released in 2008, and the films’ writers announced there would be a third film in the series, and that John Cho and Kal Penn would return as the stars. The status of a third film is now uncertain, however, as Kal Penn changed careers in 2009 to work for President Obama.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I can see the Statue of Liberty already! … It’s very small, of course.”

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
The following sentences can be completed by adding two words that are anagrams of one another. Each word has only four letters. Enjoy!

1. If you prick your finger while picking a ____, it may be very ____.

2. If you take a ____ at the Mad Hatter’s party, you still may not get a sip of his ____.

3. If you need some stamps, then you must ____ by the ____ office.

4. If you eat a whole ____ of a wedding cake, you may develop a spare ____ around your middle.

5. If you have a ____ with your friend, you should forgive them and focus on the future, not on the ____.

ANSWER: 1. rose, sore 2. seat, teas 3. stop, Post 4. tier, tire 5. spat, past

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
I can run swiftly and silently when you want me to stay still,
I can move slowly and cautiously and am yours to fill.
You look at me often and yet you always forget me,
I am the most feared killer, yet you can’t live without me.
Sometimes you have me for all to spare,
Yet when you need me, I am not there.
You can waste me, or cherish me, you choose the track,
But once you’re done you can never get me back.

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING THE QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! WAY2GO! ANDREA!

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.