Fascism – You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
Communism- You have two cows. Your neighbors help take care of them and you share the milk.
Totalitarianism- You have two cows. The government takes them both and denies they ever existed and drafts you into the army. Milk is banned.
Capitalism – You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
Enron Venture Capitalism – You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.”
– Mae West
“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.”
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then the old man poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, “Oh, no. We’re old. This is plenty for us. Besides, we’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.” The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat her share, and she replied, “Not yet. This time he gets the first turn with the teeth.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to! Now, you keep forgetting the conditions on which I agreed to stay on living with you”. “I’m not living with you! We occupy the same cage, that’s all.”
Answer: “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” (1958) was directed by Richard Brooks and was based on the play by Tennessee Williams. It is a steamy, sultry melodrama set in New Orleans. Maggie (Liz Taylor) and Brick (Paul Newman) have a sham, loveless marriage. Brick is an alcoholic, nursing a broken leg, and blaming himself for the death of his best friend, Skip. As usual, the couple are arguing. The first line is spoken by Brick, the stinging retort is by Maggie.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “North by Northwest” (1959) was directed by Alfred Hitchcock. This is a classic Hitchcock spy/chase movie. In this scene, Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) is talking on the phone with his overbearing mother, explaining how the bad guys had forced him to drink alcohol before putting him, almost unconscious, behind the wheel of a car. The car had been set in motion, leaving Thornhill to wake up and attempt to drive down a mountain road. The bad guys wanted him out of the way so he would be prevented from thwarting their evil plans.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Someone has stolen Beethoven’s Wig and has put it in one of four locked boxes. The boxes are numbered from 1,2,3,4 in that order. There are four different keys that each has their own color. Use the clues below to figure out which key goes in which box and to find the box where Beethoven’s wig is being kept.
1. The green key goes to the third or fourth box
2. The wig is to the left of the fourth box
3. The wig is to the right of the first box
4. The yellow key is to the left of the wig
5. The blue key is to the right of the yellow key and to the left of the green key
6. The red key goes to the first box
ANSWER: The wig is in the third box
The red key goes to the first box
The yellow key goes to the second box
The blue key goes to the third box
The green key goes to the fourth box
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Inside each set of the following words, there are a pair of smaller words. By putting & between them, lo & behold, you’ll make a familiar phrase. For example, “Thighbone/Swallowtail” conceals “High & Low.”
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.