Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

315832_492674430777104_1328488071_nWELCOME to Monday December 31, 2012.   

Well it’s finally almost over, we are down to the last day of 2012, headed into the first day of 2013! Of course 2012 will go out with a bang! Not a huge explosion because of course the Mayan calendar was wrong, but the same idiots who believed that the end of the world was coming will be out shooting guns on the street at midnight tonight! These are the people who believe it’s safe to shoot up at the sky, that way nobody will get hurt! Of course anything shot up must come down, and this will account for the number of accidental shootings on New Years Eve, which we call the ID-10-T factor. 
 
Nevertheless it’s been a wonderful year, there have been more then enough idiots to go around especially with all of all politicians  back at work.  On a personal note, after over 30 weeks of working out, I can see my toes again and finally I’m able to clip my toenails again. Staying on course this year, I should be able to get my one pack stomach to divide into the beginnings of at least a two pack by year end. My motto for 2013? No more Donelap’s disease for me! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great NEWS YEARS EVE!, people and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukkah’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!'” –Dave Barry, “Christmas Shopping: A Survivor’s Guide”
“I’m going to tell you some jokes now, and I’ll be honest with you, a lot of these jokes have been re-gifted.” -David Letterman
“Last week a group of chefs baked the world’s largest pizza, which is gluten-free and contains 9,000 pounds of cheese. Or as Americans put it, ‘You had me at ‘world’s largest pizza’ � you LOST me at ‘gluten-free’ � then you won me back with ‘9,000 pounds of cheese.'” -Jimmy Fallon 
  
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Every December it was the same excruciating tradition. Our family would get up at the crack of dawn, go to a Christmas tree farm and tromp across acres of snow in search of the perfect tree. Hours later our feet would be freezing, but Mom would press on, convinced the tree of her dreams was “just up ahead.” One year I snapped. “Mom, face it. The perfect tree doesn’t exist. It’s like looking for a man. Just be satisfied if you can find one that isn’t dead, doesn’t have too many bald spots and is straight.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “I’m sexy. I’m cute, I’m popular to boot. I’m pitchin’, great hair, the guys all love to stare. I’m wanted, I’m hot, I’m everything you’re not. I’m pretty, I’m cool, I dominate this school. Hate us ‘coz we’re beautiful, but we don’t like you either. We’re cheerleaders, we are cheerleaders!”
Answer: Bring It On! This is a 2000 movie about cheerleading. Kirsten Dunst plays the captain of her high school cheerleading team that is getting ready to go to national championships. She found out that the captain before her had been stealing their rivals cheer routines for many years. She realizes there may be some trouble from the other team and they soon face some stiff competition going up against each other. That one cheer was just an example of what the one team would do. Not quite the type of cheerleading I did way back in my day.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Cindy, you know by tattling on your friends, you’re really just tattling on yourself. By tattling on your friends, you’re just telling them that you’re a tattletale. Now, is that the tale you want to tell?” What movie do you suppose this tattle tale was in?
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?
1) punched when starting work & discussion about scaling a mountain
2) a container of fibs & a shortage of baked goods
3) hasty vacation & prank gibe
4) a mongoose & artificial precipitation
ANSWER: 1) time clock & climb talk
2) pack of lies & lack of pies
3) quick trip & trick quip
4) snake foe & fake snow
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that would fit in the middle of pair that would create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.  Example: EVER – ______ – HORN   Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN
Mouth – _____________ – Meal
Mouse – _____________ – Door
Bed – ______________ – Mate

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  EmojiLike this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.

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Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

580845_419825791402998_1950230188_nWELCOME to Friday December 21, 2012.  Welcome to the end of the World! 

Welcome to the Maya Apocalypse AKA the end of the world! According to the doomsday prophecy, the ancient Maya predicted that this big old crazy world of ours would officially end on December 21, 2012! Wat happened was..George the Maya long calendar dude forgot to finish the long calendar and it ends on this date.  Can you say hood winked? Bamboozled? Now if the American people will spend money on a pet rock and a chia pet, well they will just about buy anything! People actually believed this stuff and as I mentioned a couple weeks before probably bought tickets to the Haley’s comet ride.  So WE ARE ALL STILL HERE and welcome to the Maya Notpocalypse! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“This week, police in Ohio had to break up a fight between two neighbors with the last names Hall and Oates. But don’t worry. It was quickly broken up by officers Simon and Garfunkel.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A thief broke into a house in Alaska and found $100,000 but only took $20,000. Police are searching for a man with simple dreams.” -Conan O’Brien
“There are parts of California that are as spectacular as anywhere in the country. Especially the part of California known as ‘not L.A.'” -Craig Ferguson  
  
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A snail was moving along the beach when he happened to look back behind him and saw three turtles wearing leather jackets. After moving along for about four weeks, the snail looked back again and saw that the three turtles were still there and closing in on him. So, the snail picked up his pace. After about six more weeks, the snail looked back again, and saw that the turtles were still chasing him. And they were getting closer and closer! So, he kept on going as fast as he could. After another few weeks, the turtles finally caught up with the snail and mugged him, took all of his clothes and the keys to his car. After another couple of weeks, the snail got to a pay phone and called the police. “I’ve been mugged by three turtles wearing leather jackets! You need to get down here and take a report or do something!” he said.  “Can you give us a description of the turtles?” asked the police officer.  “No, I can’t. It all happened too fast!” cried the snail.  
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I…I realized what a terrific person she was, and…and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I…I, I thought of that old joke, y’know, the, this…this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.” And, uh, the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.” Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y’know, they’re totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and…but, uh, I guess we keep goin’ through it because, uh, most of us…need the eggs.”
Answer: Annie Hall! This line was said by Woody Allen in the movie “Annie Hall” (1977). He was speaking to the audience which he did off and on in the film, these lines being about Diane Keaton’s character in the movie. He was in love with her. They both had problems, their ups and downs. The movie was both funny and sad. The film also starred Carol Kane, Tony Roberts, Paul Simon, Shelley Duvall, Colleen Dewhurst and Christopher Walken. 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “I’m sexy. I’m cute, I’m popular to boot. I’m pitchin’, great hair, the guys all love to stare. I’m wanted, I’m hot, I’m everything you’re not. I’m pretty, I’m cool, I dominate this school. Hate us ‘coz we’re beautiful, but we don’t like you either. We’re cheerleaders, we are cheerleaders!”
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Hidden below you will find five uncommon titles to five classic novels. Can you decipher them?
1. Vanished with the Tempest
2. Enmity of the Globes
3. Dinky Maidens
4. A Chronicle of a Couple of Municipalities
5. Contention and Conciliation
ANSWER:  1. Gone with the Wind  2. War of the Worlds  3. Little Women  4. Tale of Two Cities  5. War and Peace
Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?
1) punched when starting work & discussion about scaling a mountain
2) a container of fibs & a shortage of baked goods
3) hasty vacation & prank gibe
4) a mongoose & artificial precipitation

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  EmojiLike this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

402986_328432217209023_243388962380016_992405_1101010094_nWELCOME to Thursday December 20, 2012.  ALL I NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM A SNOWMAN 

 ** It’s okay if you’re a little bottom heavy.
** Hold your ground, even when the heat is on.
** Wearing white is always appropriate.
** Winter is the best of the four seasons.
** It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection.
** There’s nothing better than a foul weather friend.
** We’re all made up of mostly water.
** You know you’ve made it when they write a song about you.
** Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize!
** Avoid yellow snow. Don’t get too much sun.
** It’s embarrassing when you can’t look down and see your feet.
** It’s fun to hang out in your front yard.
** There’s no stopping you once you’re on a roll.
** It’s not the size of the carrot, but the placement that counts.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 
 “By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” 
– Socrates 
 
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.” 
– Abraham Lincoln 
 
“The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes.”
– Frank Lloyd Wright 
  
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
 Jill was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the Insurance policy with the man at the Insurance Agency. 
During the discussion, she asked, “Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he dies? What will I get?”  The agent eyed her suspiciously and replied, “Probably 20 to life.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.”
Answer: The Waterboy! This 1998 movie starred Adam Sandler in it as a waterboy who got to be on a college team after the coach saw something special in his abilities to be a hard hitter, shall we say? I loved the part where he was in class and this professor, who was a look a like for Colonel Sanders, was asking the class if they knew why alligators were so mean. Sandler’s response was so hilarious. If you haven’t seen this movie yet, do yourself a favor and rent it. Good for some laughs. The movie also starred Kathy Bates, Henry Winkler, Fairuza Balk, Clint Howard, Rob Schneider and Jerry Reed. 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I…I realized what a terrific person she was, and…and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I…I, I thought of that old joke, y’know, the, this…this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.” And, uh, the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.” Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y’know, they’re totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and…but, uh, I guess we keep goin’ through it because, uh, most of us…need the eggs.”
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is this phrase?
King Garfield and Queen Felix
King Scooby and Queen Lassie
ANSWER: Raining (reigning) cats and dogs!
Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….
Hidden below you will find five uncommon titles to five classic novels. Can you decipher them?
1. Vanished with the Tempest
2. Enmity of the Globes
3. Dinky Maidens
4. A Chronicle of a Couple of Municipalities
5. Contention and Conciliation

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  EmojiLike this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

426681_10150526935133511_782005705_nWELCOME to Wednesday December 19, 2012.  Politicians Job Explanation…. 

Once upon a time, there were four people; Their names were Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody.
Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
When Nobody did it, Everybody got angry because it was Everybody’s job.
Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Nobody would do it.
So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“A new poll revealed that 44 percent of Americans think Santa is a Democrat and 28 percent believe he is a Republican. And the other 28 percent said to please stop bothering me with stupid questions.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Scientists in Australia have created a pineapple that tastes like a coconut. Took them long enough.” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“Christmas is just around the corner. It’s just under two weeks away, and today Santa released 10 years of tax returns.” -Dave Letterman
  
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A man goes into a restaurant, sits down at a table and an attractive young waitress comes for his order. He gives her a smile and says, “I want a quickie.” She turns red in the face and ahems, “Sir, I don’t know what kind of restaurant you’re used to eating in, but I can assure you you’re not going to get a quickie here!” “How disappointing,” the man replied. “Could you ask the chef to make an exception?” “He doesn’t have anything to do with it!” says the waitress indignantly.  “Hmmm,” do you know anywhere around here where I could get a quickie?” “I’m SURE I don’t know,” answers the waitress loudly. A patron from the next table leans over and taps the man on the shoulder, “I think it’s pronounced QUICHE.”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.” 
Answer: City of Angels! Great movie. It was inspired by the modern classic, “Wings of Desire”. This movie came out in 1998 and involved an angel played by Nicholas Cage who was spotted by a doctor, played by Meg Ryan, in an operating room. The angel, who was watching over Los Angeles, fell in love with Maggie, the heart surgeon.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.”
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
A part of the body is hidden in each of the following sentences. The first sentence contains “head.” Can you find the rest?
1. The ad is for Monday’s sale.
2. The tour group can go to either country.
3. My car makes funny noises sometimes.
4. Sarah and Tony are getting married.
5. That casino seems shady.
6. Can’t you see that Hank needs help?
7. The sea is so calm out here.
8. Would you like to go surfing, Erin?
ANSWER:  1. head  2. toe  3. arm 4. hand  5. nose  6. knee  7. mouth  8. finger
Wednesday’s Quizzlers is……….
What is this phrase?
King Garfield and Queen Felix
King Scooby and Queen Lassie

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  EmojiLike this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. RIP Mr. Larry Akley!

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

558967_492262587484955_544921691_nWELCOME to Tuesday December 18, 2012.  Paradoxes….. 

From George Carlin. The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.  We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
 
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
 
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
 
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life; we’ve added years to life, not life to years.
 
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.
 
We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space.
 
We’ve done larger things, but not better things.
 
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
 
We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice.
 
We write more, but learn less.
 
We plan more, but accomplish less.
 
We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait.
 
We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies thanever, but have less communication.
 
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men and short character; steep profits and shallow relationships.
 
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, butless fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.
 
These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.
 
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill.
 
It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Great Tuesday people and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“The Army has started kicking out overweight soldiers, and they’re refusing to admit recruits that are obese. That shows you how times have changed. Back in the ’60s, you had to go to Canada to stay out of the Army. Now, you just have to go to McDonald’s.” -Jay Leno
 
“Steven Spielberg’s movie ‘Lincoln’ had the most nominations of any film this year. Seven. ‘Lincoln’ was nominated for best picture, best director, best beard without a mustache, and furriest top hat.” -Jimmy Kimmel
 
“Yesterday, the Senate floor was reserved for farewell speeches from retiring senators. Each senator received a fitting gift: a gold watch that stopped working years ago.” -Jimmy Fallon 
  
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Duck decoys, fishing rods, boots — outdoor gear of all kinds was piled high in the garage. One day I found my wife staring at the mess. “I hope I die first, so I don’t have to get rid of all this,” she sighed.  “Look on the bright side,” I suggested. “If I go first, you can put an ad in the paper. When all the men come by to check out the stuff, you can pick out a replacement for me.”
Still staring at the pile, she said, “Nah. Whoever would want all this stuff wouldn’t be my type.”  
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like victory.”
Answer: Apocalypse Now! Spoken by Robert Duvall’s character to some of his men after U.S. pilots had just dropped some napalm on a nearby village. The 1979 film by Francis Ford Coppola was inspired by Joseph Conrad’s 1902 novella “Heart of Darkness” about a journey upriver on a steamer into the Congo and African jungle. This film is about a US Army assassin sent to assassinate a demented warlord and former Colonel who ruled a band of native warriors in the jungle. This movie has become a cult classic. 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.”  
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
When Question Mark unlocked the door, he thought that he would see his wallet straight away. But Skid Mark (Question’s brother) decided to put the wallet in a safe. The combination is three 2-digit numbers which can be expressed like this:
xx-xx-xx
You are given the following clues to work out the combination:
The total of the three numbers is 39.
The second number is half of the third number.
The first number is the third number minus 1.
Can you find Question’s wallet in time? It’s all up to you.
ANSWER: The combination is 15-08-16. Thank you for helping Question get his wallet back.
Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….
A part of the body is hidden in each of the following sentences. The first sentence contains “head.” Can you find the rest?
1. The ad is for Monday’s sale.
2. The tour group can go to either country.
3. My car makes funny noises sometimes.
4. Sarah and Tony are getting married.
5. That casino seems shady.
6. Can’t you see that Hank needs help?
7. The sea is so calm out here.
8. Would you like to go surfing, Erin?

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  EmojiLike this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. RIP Mr. Larry Akley!

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

558944_491632907547923_290320506_nWELCOME to Monday December 17, 2012.  New Words for Monday……. 

AQUADEXTROUS adj., Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with one’s toes.
CARPERPETUATION n., The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
DISCONFECT v., To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it.
ELBONICS n., The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
FRUST n., The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
LACTOMANGULATION n., Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the “illegal” side.
PEPPIER n., The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
PHONESIA n., The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
PUPKUS n., The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
TELECRASTINATION n., The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Great Monday people and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 
Surely God would not have created such a being as man, with an ability to grasp the infinite, to exist only for a day! No, no, man was made for immortality. Abraham Lincoln
 
This revolution, the information revoulution, is a revolution of free energy as well, but of another kind: free intellectual energy. It’s very crude today, yet our Macintosh computer takes less power than a 100-watt bulb to run it and it can save you hours a day. What will it be able to do ten or 20 years from now, or 50 years from now? Steve Jobs
 
The sun is new each day. Heraclitus
 
You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It’s just a matter of paying attention to this miracle. Paulo Coelho
 
I never attempt to make money on the stock market. I buy on the assumption that they could close the market the next day and not reopen it for five years. Warren Buffett
  
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Each Friday night Bill drove his wife to the train station so she could go visit her sister who was ill.
Ten minutes later, Bill’s sister arrived by train so that she could look after the kids while Bill worked over the weekend. On Sundays this procedure worked in reverse with Bill’s sister departing by train ten minutes before Bill’s wife arrived.
One evening after Bill’s sister left and while he awaited his wife’s arrival, a porter sauntered over.
“Mister,” he said, “you sure have some system going! But one of these days you’re goin’ to get caught!”.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  Truvy: “I kind of like hiring somebody with a past.”
Clairee: “She can’t be more than eighteen. She hasn’t had time to have a past.”
Truvy: “Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the eighties. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.” 
Answer: Steel Magnolias! This was an 1989 film directed by Robert Harling. These lines were spoken between actresses Dolly Parton and Olympia Dukakis in regards to Dolly’s character hiring Daryl Hannah’s character. This heart felt drama is about a beauty shop, in Louisana owned by Truvy, and the lives of all of her clients. An all star cast makes this movie so great. Have your tissues ready. It will make you laugh but also make you cry. 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???   “I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like victory.” 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Translate each word group into a phonetic sound, and then string them all together to form the name of a body of water.
For example: polar or grizzly, finger jewelry, not curved Translation… Bear, Ring, Straight
Answer… Bering Strait
1. Vehicle, curved bone, to exist, not yang, to look at
2. Circle segment, bloodsucking arachnid, to be in debt, tibia
3. Cat sound, dreidel letter, 18-hole sport
4. Unaffiliated film, Japanese currency, interjection, to eschew
5. Helper, flightless South American bird, clock sound, programming language
ANSWER: 1. Car – Rib – Be – Yin – See == Caribbean Sea
2. Arc – Tick – Owe – Shin == Arctic Ocean
3. Purr – Shin – Golf == Persian Gulf
4. Indie – Yen – Oh! – Shun == Indian Ocean
5. Aid – Rhea – Tick – C == Adriatic Sea
Monday’s Quizzlers is……….
When Question Mark unlocked the door, he thought that he would see his wallet straight away. But Skid Mark (Question’s brother) decided to put the wallet in a safe. The combination is three 2-digit numbers which can be expressed like this:
xx-xx-xx
You are given the following clues to work out the combination:
The total of the three numbers is 39.
The second number is half of the third number.
The first number is the third number minus 1.
Can you find Question’s wallet in time? It’s all up to you.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  EmojiLike this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. 

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

533421_411410775576455_767939874_nWELCOME to Friday December 14, 2012.  Counter Proverbs……. 

– Actions speak louder than words.
-or- The pen is mightier than the sword.
– Look before you leap.
-or- He who hesitates is lost.
– Many hands make light work.
-or- Too many cooks spoil the broth.
– Clothes make the man.
-or- Don’t judge a book by its cover.
– Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
-or- Better safe than sorry.
– The bigger, the better.
-or- The best things come in small packages.
– Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
-or- Out of sight, out of mind.
– What will be, will be.
-or- Life is what you make it.
– Cross your bridges when you come to them.
-or- Forewarned is forearmed.
– What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
-or- One man’s meat is another man’s poison.
– With age comes wisdom.
-or- Out of the mouths of babes come all wise sayings.
– The more, the merrier.
-or- Two’s company; three’s a crowd.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful weekend people and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“Christmas is less than two weeks away. I do most of my shopping online. But I hire someone to honk and scream obscenities at me while I’m doing it so I get the whole holiday shopping experience.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A close friend of mine said his doctor gave him less than two weeks to live. But it turns out his doctor’s a Mayan. He says that to everybody.” -Jay Leno
“This year over 1,500 soldiers were kicked out of the armed forces for being overweight. And half of our fighter pilots are being charged for two seats.” -Conan O’Brien
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 20mph for it to start. She said fine, hopped into her car and drove off.  I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing. A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror coming at me at about 30 mph, I realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions…   Emoji
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “It’s the stuff that dreams are made of.”
Answer: The Maltese Falcon (1941). Sam Spade (Humphrey Bogart) explains why everybody in the entire story has been chasing after this seemingly plain black statue. Every private detective movie and TV show ever made owes a debt to Bogie, Director John Huston and author Dashiell Hammett for this creation. Fantastic supporting cast includes Peter Lorre, Mary Astor, Sydney Greenstreet and Ward Bond. 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  Truvy: “I kind of like hiring somebody with a past.”
Clairee: “She can’t be more than eighteen. She hasn’t had time to have a past.”
Truvy: “Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the eighties. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.”
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Which word doesn’t belong in the group?  Careful  Abalone  Overweight  Canine  Often
 ANSWER:  “Careful” does not belong.  All of the other words end in a number:
abal-ONE
overw-EIGHT
ca-NINE
of-TEN
Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
Translate each word group into a phonetic sound, and then string them all together to form the name of a body of water.
For example:
polar or grizzly, finger jewelry, not curved
Translation… Bear, Ring, Straight
Answer… Bering Strait
1. Vehicle, curved bone, to exist, not yang, to look at
2. Circle segment, bloodsucking arachnid, to be in debt, tibia
3. Cat sound, dreidel letter, 18-hole sport
4. Unaffiliated film, Japanese currency, interjection, to eschew
5. Helper, flightless South American bird, clock sound, programming language

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  EmojiLike this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.