Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Thursday November 29, 2012.  I’m sure I put that somewhere…..  

Have you ever had a clear thought about what you were going to do, planned it out, worked through the details and then managed to totally forget what you were going to do? Have you ever left one room headed to the next with a purpose and then arrived in the room and forgot what you went into the room for in the first place? Have you ever set something down, turned around for two second and it was gone?  Or if you are married, have you ever put something down in a room full of things, you know his/her things, million things, lets just say a million trillion things and then went back later and found your one thing gone/moved to another room? Your one thing in a room full of a million trillion of his/her things moved/gone? Or have you ever put something/one thing in the refrigerator full of a million things again and gone back later to find your one thing, which was in the midst of a MILLION things gone? You see THIS is what drives people crazy, THIS is also why people die early, the mystery of all things missing, gone, disappeared moved by unknown forces/husband/wife in some cases, THIS will drive you crazy if you acknowledge it! I have learned to accept that whatever I was looking for, I will evidently find, whatever I have placed somewhere has been moved and one day like a brand new present it will turn up again and I like a fat kid at a Christmas dinner buffet will be pleasantly surprised! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“Beaches in Italy are now training dogs to become lifeguards. That should
work as long as someone throws a tennis ball at you while you’re drowning.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A lot of accidents are caused by bikers who don’t have a feel for the
road, like the dentists and accountants that take Harleys out on the weekend.” -Craig Ferguson
“A new version of the Bible is being published that is gender-neutral. For instance,
the books of ‘Mark, Luke, and John’ are now the books of ‘Kris, Jean, and Terry.'” –Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
When my husband pointed out my tendency to retell the same stories over and over,
I reminded him that he was just as guilty. “Allow me to clarify,” he said in response. “I review. You repeat.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Why, she wouldn’t even harm a fly.”
Answer: Psycho (1960) Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) amuses himself by watching a fly on the window screen, and imagines what the asylum doctors must be thinking as they observe him. Poor Norman; he’s incarcerated on two levels; his mind trapped within that of his dead mother, and his body locked away in the psycho ward.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “A man’s got to know his limitations.”
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is this phrase?
King Garfield and Queen Felix
King Scooby and Queen Lassie
ANSWER: Raining (reigning) cats and dogs!
Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….
Hidden below you will find five uncommon titles to five classic novels. Can you decipher them?
1. Vanished with the Tempest
2. Enmity of the Globes
3. Dinky Maidens
4. A Chronicle of a Couple of Municipalities
5. Contention and Conciliation
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTERS OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD FOR ANOTHER SUPER SOLVING JOB!EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  EmojiLike this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com.

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Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Wednesday November 28, 2012.  Bizarre December Holidays  

December 1 is National Pie Day and Eat A Red Apple Day
December 2 is National Fritters Day
December 3 is National Roof-Over-Your-Head Day
December 4 is Wear Brown Shoes Day
December 5 is National Sacher Torte Day
December 6 is National Gazpacho Day and Mitten Tree Day
December 7 is National Cotton Candy Day
December 8 is ake It In The Ear Day
December 9 is National Pastry Day
December 10 is Festival For The Souls Of Dead Whales
December 11 is National Noodle Ring Day
December 12 is National Ding-A-Ling Day
December 13 is Ice Cream and Violins Day
December 14 is National Bouillabaisse Day
December 15 is National Lemon Cupcake Day
December 16 is National Chocolate Covered Anything Day
December 17 is Underdog Day and National Maple Syrup Day
December 18 is National Roast Suckling Pig Day
December 19 is Oatmeal Muffin Day
December 20 is Games Day
December 21 is Look At The Bright Side Day, National Flashlight Day, National French Fried Shrimp Day, and Hamburger Day
December 22 is National Date-Nut Bread Day
December 23 is Roots Day
December 24 is National Egg Nog Day
December 25 is National Pumpkin Pie Day
December 26 is National Whiners Day
December 27 is National Fruitcake Day
December 28 is Card Playing Day and National Chocolate Day
December 29 is Pepper Pot Day
December 30 is Festival Of Enormous Changes At The Last Minute and National Bicarbonate Of Soda Day
December 31 is Unlucky Day
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”
– Mark Twain
“Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age.”
– Christopher Morley
“California is a fine place to live–if you happen to be an orange.”
– Fred Allen
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. “Just a minute,” I said, thinking of a quick solution. “I’ll put down newspapers.” “It’s all right, lady,” he responded. “I’m already trained.”

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???”Remember, honey. On your wedding night it’s all right to say yes.”
Answer: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) In this 1950s musical comedy, Dorothy (Jane Russell) and Lorelei (Marilyn Monroe) tease their way across the Atlantic on a cruise ship, trying every trick in the book to snare rich husbands. Dorothy lets Lorelei know that she can now quit playing hard to get.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “Why, she wouldn’t even harm a fly.”
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
A part of the body is hidden in each of the following sentences. The first sentence contains “head.” Can you find the rest?
1. The ad is for Monday’s sale.
2. The tour group can go to either country.
3. My car makes funny noises sometimes.
4. Sarah and Tony are getting married.
5. That casino seems shady.
6. Can’t you see that Hank needs help?
7. The sea is so calm out here.
8. Would you like to go surfing, Erin?
ANSWER: 1. head 2. toe 3. arm 4. hand 5. nose 6. knee 7. mouth 8. finger
Wednesday’s Quizzlers is……….
What is this phrase?
King Garfield and Queen Felix
King Scooby and Queen Lassie
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTERS OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR A SUPER SOLVING JOB!EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  EmojiLike this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com.

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Tuesday November 27, 2012.  New Element Discovered  

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named “Governmentium.”  Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.  A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.  Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutron exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. The characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is called “Critical Morass.” When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“Cab drivers are now illegally overcharging you for made-up charges.
I was in a cab today and I was charged $11 for shipping and handling.” -David Letterman
“A newspaper is a thing that people used to read. It’s like a website,
but all the information is from yesterday.” -Craig Ferguson
“Hey, I heard that 7-Eleven is now selling potato chips that taste like
hot dogs. Seriously? I’m still waiting for 7-Eleven to sell hot dogs that
taste like hot dogs.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
 Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John, “How come you aren’t married?” John: “I haven’t found the right woman yet.” George: “So what are you looking for?” John: “Oh she’s got to be real pretty, a good cook and house keeper, she’s got to know how to handle finances, have a nice and pleasant personality — and money, she’s got to have money, and a nice house wouldn’t hurt either.” George: “A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!” John: “Oh, it’s okay if she is crazy.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “You met me at a very strange time in my life.”
Answer: Fight Club (1999) The narrator (Edward Norton) sums up this twisted tale of his scheme to channel male aggression. Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) is the insomniac office worker’s ‘partner’ in promoting this bizarre organization.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???    “Remember, honey. On your wedding night it’s all right to say yes.”
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
When Question Mark unlocked the door, he thought that he would see his wallet straight away. But Skid Mark (Question’s brother) decided to put the wallet in a safe. The combination is three 2-digit numbers which can be expressed like this:
xx-xx-xx   You are given the following clues to work out the combination:
The total of the three numbers is 39.
The second number is half of the third number.
The first number is the third number minus 1.
Can you find Question’s wallet in time? It’s all up to you.
ANSWER:  The combination is 15-08-16. Thank you for helping Question get his wallet back.
Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….
A part of the body is hidden in each of the following sentences. The first sentence contains “head.” Can you find the rest?
1. The ad is for Monday’s sale.
2. The tour group can go to either country.
3. My car makes funny noises sometimes.
4. Sarah and Tony are getting married.
5. That casino seems shady.
6. Can’t you see that Hank needs help?
7. The sea is so calm out here.
8. Would you like to go surfing, Erin?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  EmojiLike this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com.

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Monday November 26, 2012.   Turkeys and Cornish Hens…… 

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister’s house for the traditional feast.  Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey.
She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing.  When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, “Patricia, you’ve cooked a pregnant bird!” At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“For the first time ever, more than half of all senior citizens in the U.S. are
using the Internet. Yeah, I read that when my grandma sent the entire story
to me in the subject line of an email.” -Jimmy Fallon
“People around the world think America is the coolest country. Now if you’ll
excuse me, I have an explosion to walk away from while I put on sunglasses
in slow motion.” -Jimmy Kimmel
There has been a lot of talk about conserving energy. Like keeping the thermostat
down in the winter. Using low energy bulbs. Turning off lights. Using less gas.
It made me realize, my dad was like the first environmentalist. He would walk around
the house yelling, ‘turn off those lights! Turn
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
 On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted several historical points of interest. The children were especially interested because they enjoyed the computer game “Oregon Trail,” which gives players a taste of the hardships the pioneers endured. We stopped at the famous South Pass to look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt. Squinting out over the desolate, wind-swept landscape, my daughter nodded and said grimly, “This is where my oxen always die.”

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “You talk. I’ll listen.”
Answer: Oh, God! (1977)Simple, everyday guy Jerry Landers (John Denver) takes quite some time to become convinced that he was actually being visited by God. But as God (George Burns) tells Jerry that the time has come for Him to leave, Jerry asks, “Sometimes, now and then, couldn’t we just talk?” God answers, “You talk. I’ll listen.”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???   “You met me at a very strange time in my life.”
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Translate each word group into a phonetic sound, and then string them all together to form the name of a body of water.
For example:
polar or grizzly, finger jewelry, not curved
Translation… Bear, Ring, Straight
Answer… Bering Strait
1. Vehicle, curved bone, to exist, not yang, to look at
2. Circle segment, bloodsucking arachnid, to be in debt, tibia
3. Cat sound, dreidel letter, 18-hole sport
4. Unaffiliated film, Japanese currency, interjection, to eschew
5. Helper, flightless South American bird, clock sound, programming language
ANSWER: 1. Car – Rib – Be – Yin – See == Caribbean Sea
2. Arc – Tick – Owe – Shin == Arctic Ocean
3. Purr – Shin – Golf == Persian Gulf
4. Indie – Yen – Oh! – Shun == Indian Ocean
5. Aid – Rhea – Tick – C == Adriatic Sea
Monday’s Quizzlers is……….
When Question Mark unlocked the door, he thought that he would see his wallet straight away. But Skid Mark (Question’s brother) decided to put the wallet in a safe. The combination is three 2-digit numbers which can be expressed like this:
xx-xx-xx
You are given the following clues to work out the combination:
The total of the three numbers is 39.
The second number is half of the third number.
The first number is the third number minus 1.
Can you find Question’s wallet in time? It’s all up to you.
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING! EmojiLike this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com.

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Wednesday November 21, 2012.   The day before Thanksgiving!

OK! Here’s the plan for Thanksgiving day! Get up early go work out, burn over 500 calories on the elliptical machine to reduce the 2500 calories I plan to consume. Eat a nice breakfast, head out to church with the family. Get back home fire up the Sterno under the chaffing dishes, have the food ready by 3:00 pm, greet the guests, yadda, yadda, bless the food, watch everybody eat first, depending on who brought what! After everybody survives the first twenty minutes, eat, make jokes, talk some more, yadda, yadda! Pretend to get sick for other people’s food. Talk about people, play with kids, hop on Facebook, like everything, post some videos, pictures, like everybody else’s thanksgiving family pictures.

Sit around stuffed, manage to disappear when it’s time to clean up and then watch football games with the guys and talk smack. Unzip pants, fall asleep, snore so that people can take pictures and video to post on Facebook! Wake up, eat dessert, talk some more, yadda, yadda, watch it get dark, then watch people leave, talk about people’s food, clean up, jump back on Facebook!  Watch more TV, fall asleep, pose for more pictures while sleeping, and call it a day! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great THANKSGIVING WEEK people, I’ll see you next Monday and whatever you do the rest of this week, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”
– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence.”
– Robert Fripp
“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
– Carrie Fisher
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Demonstrating Attitude Part I
I can see your point, but I still think you’re an idiot.
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
Do you intentionally set aside a part of every day to humiliate yourself in public?
I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
Ahhh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again…
I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “It is accomplished. It is accomplished.”
Answer: The Last Temptation of Christ (1988)! Jesus (Willem Dafoe) has endured trials and torture beyond most of our abilities to even comprehend. Now accepting his fate as he dies on the cross, he twice utters “Tetelesta”. The English subtitles translate the dialog written by Greek author Nikos Kazantzakis as “It is accomplished.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “You talk. I’ll listen.”
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Which word doesn’t belong in the group?  Careful  Abalone  Overweight  Canine  Often
ANSWER: “Careful” does not belong.
All of the other words end in a number:
abal-ONE
overw-EIGHT
ca-NINE
of-TEN
Wednesday’s Quizzlers is……….
Translate each word group into a phonetic sound, and then string them all together to form the name of a body of water.
For example:
polar or grizzly, finger jewelry, not curved
Translation… Bear, Ring, Straight
Answer… Bering Strait
1. Vehicle, curved bone, to exist, not yang, to look at
2. Circle segment, bloodsucking arachnid, to be in debt, tibia
3. Cat sound, dreidel letter, 18-hole sport
4. Unaffiliated film, Japanese currency, interjection, to eschew
5. Helper, flightless South American bird, clock sound, programming language
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in NEXT MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING! EmojiLike this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com.

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Tuesday November 20, 2012.   Thanksgiving Week!

Well once again it’s the yearly Thanksgiving week where we focus on family, in-laws, drama and food. I guess in some cases really bad food that you’ve got to eat anyway because either your family or in-laws have cooked it! My advice? Eat it really fast with a smile and thank about that last steak that you had while eating it! Now don’t eat it too fast or you will make the host think that you actually want another piece! In some cases the food is really good and the conversation is awkward,  I mean how many times can you talk about the weather, the kids, Uncle George or Albert? Exactly what is the correct Thanksgiving style? Whats the proper thing to wear? All you really hear about before thanksgiving are ad’s about Black Friday sales. Why is it called black Friday anyway? So you spend one day being thankful for food, families, relatives, and all your material things and then the very next day you are out spending all your money on things that are priced where they should be priced anyway, low!

And last but not least there’s always a drunk uncle, aunt or friend who smokes, who will some how manage to stagger out of your house after the football game and make their way home, no matter how much you’ve tried to stop them from drinking in the first place. Here’s a thought! Maybe they are drinking so that they can eat your cooking? Oh well what’s life without a little adventure? Hey, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“Facebook and the Department of Labor have teamed up for a new app
that displays job openings. It’ll be weird when people find a job because
of Facebook, then get fired from that job for using Facebook, then use
Facebook to find another job. It’s the circle of life.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Today is ‘America Recycles Day.’ We’re celebrating here. All of tonight’s jokes
are from previous shows.” -Craig Ferguson
“Hostess, the company that makes Twinkies, filed for bankruptcy in January.
I don’t understand how this is possible. This country has never been fatter.
How are the people who make Zingers and Snowballs losing money?” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Although he always ordered just ham and eggs everyday, one customer at the diner always studied the menu carefully each day before ordering.
One day, his regular waitress decided to see if he could be made to order anything else. Before giving him the menu she marked out the ham and eggs entry. Once the customer had looked over the menu for a few minutes, the waitress approached him and asked, “Sir, did you notice that I scratched something you like?” Without looking up from the menu, he quickly replied, “Well, would you mind washing your hands before you bring me my ham and eggs?”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “He’s going to arrive at the sea on the anniversary of the massacre at Amritsar.”
[pause] “General Edgar is right – ignore it.
Answer: Gandhi! In this scene British Viceroy Lord Irwin (John Gielgud) – the top ranking British administrator of colonial India prior to Indian independence – has just been informed of a planned walk by Indian civil disobedience leader Mohandas (a.k.a., Mahatma) Gandhi (Ben Kingsley) and his followers. They plan to walk across the country to the Indian Ocean to protest a British law that Indians only purchase their salt from distributors licensed by the British. Gandhi plans to demonstrate to his followers how anyone can boil down seawater to get salt. Lord Irwin’s Principal Secretary (Michael Bryant) says line one and Lord Irwin dismissively says line two. “Gandhi” tells the true autobiographical story of Mahatma Gandhi, a lawyer by training, who led his followers on a non-violent rebellion against British rule that ultimately resulted in Indian independence in 1947. This was the strategy later used by Martin Luther King, Jr. in the U.S. civil rights protests in the 1960s. Because of his simple dress and slight physique, he initially was not taken seriously by the British as a rebellion leader. Gandhi neatly summed up his objective with this quote, “In the end you will walk out, because one hundred thousand Englishmen simply cannot control three hundred fifty million Indians if those Indians refuse to co-operate. And that is what we intend to achieve – peaceful, non-violent, non-co-operation ’till you yourselves see the wisdom of leaving.” In the 1983 Academy Awards “Gandhi” won eight Oscars, including Best Picture and Ben Kingsley for Best Actor in a Leading Role for his portrayal of Gandhi. When Kingsley was dressed in a Gandhi-style simple, white dhoti, his resemblance to Gandhi was so striking that many Indian locals at first thought they were seeing a ghost!
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “It is accomplished. It is accomplished.”
 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

If E times ILE equals BANISH, and TE times T equals BOOK, what does TO times IN equal?
A. BREATH   B. TEASER  C. RUTABAGA  D. POISON  E. COPPER
ANSWER: POISON  Replace every instance of the word “times” with an ‘X’.

Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….

Which word doesn’t belong in the group?
Careful
Abalone
Overweight
Canine
Often

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com. 

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Monday November 19, 2012.  Ten Commandments for “Working Hard” 

1. Never walk without a document in your hands

People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they’re heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy

Any time you use a computer, it looks like “work” to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they’re not bad either. When you get caught by your boss – and you *will* get caught — your best defense is to claim you’re teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

3. Messy desk

Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we’re not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you’ll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail

Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t call you just because they want to give you something for nothing – they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That’s no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they’re not there – it looks like you’re hardworking and conscientious even though you’re being a devious weasel.

6. Leave the office late

Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss’ room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect

Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

8. Stacking Strategy

It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).

9. Build Vocabulary

Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don’t have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

10. MOST IMPORTANT:

DON’T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!

Hey, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY 
A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve,
not by the desire to beat others. Ayn Rand
Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble
but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful
or happy. Norman Vincent Peale
If you’re going through hell, keep going.
Winston Churchill
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose,
if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power
that is greater than ourselves to do it. Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.
Wayne Dyer
Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.
Og Mandino
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Max went into the doctor’s office for his annual checkup, and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should know about. So Max told the Doc that his suit must have shrunk over the last year, because it didn’t fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently. The Doc said, “Suits don’t shrink just sitting in a closet. You probably put on a few pounds.”  “That’s just it, Doc, I know I haven’t gained a single pound since the last time I wore it.” “Well, then,” said Doc, “You must have a case of Furniture Disease.”  “What in the world is Furniture Disease?” asked Max.  “That’s when your chest starts sliding down into your drawers.”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why do you shamelessly waste my time like this?” “I don’t know.”
Answer: Fast Times at Ridgemont High! In this scene, California surfer dude Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn) enters a high school classroom while the class is already in session. Teacher Mr. Hand (Ray Walston) stops his teaching and asks Spicoli line one. Unfazed, Spicoli answers with line two. In an effort to shame him into promptness, Mr. Hand writes “I don’t know” on the blackboard, saying he will leave it up all day and give Spicoli full credit for the words. Instead of being shamed, Spicoli looks pleased and says, “All right!” After the pizza delivery, Mr. Hand tells Spicoli he is causing a major disturbance on Mr. Hand’s time. This time Spicoli says, “I’ve been thinking about this, Mr. Hand. If I’m here and you’re here, doesn’t that make it OUR time?”
“Fast Times at Ridgemont High” show the teen scene in the 1980s of malls, sex and relationships.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “He’s going to arrive at the sea on the anniversary of the massacre at Amritsar.”
[pause] “General Edgar is right – ignore it.
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is represented below?
Finish Fin ish
ANSWER: Split second finish
Monday’s Quizzlers is……….
If E times ILE equals BANISH, and TE times T equals BOOK, what does TO times IN equal?
A. BREATH
B. TEASER
C. RUTABAGA
D. POISON
E. COPPER

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com.