Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Tuesday October 30, 2012.   WWJD?

Most people assume WWJD is for “What would Jesus do?” But the initials really have been changed to stand for “What would Jesus drive?”

One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, “God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.”

But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Jesus to “pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.”

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses’ followers are warned not to go up a mountain “until the Ram’s horn sounds a long blast.”

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn’t like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John’s gospel where Christ tells the crowd, “For I did not speak of my own Accord…”

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that “the roar of Moses’ Triumph is heard in the hills.”

Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: “Joshua’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.” And, following Jesus’ lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda… “The Apostles were in one Accord.”

Hey, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji

QUOTES OF THE DAY 
“A recent study has found that more senior citizens than ever are entering college.
College faculty says that the seniors are like any other students…except they take
Jell-O shots just for the Jell-O.” –Conan O’Brien
“I want to get this off my chest: For the past 20 years, I have been using
performance-enhancing vodka.” -David Letterman
“Japanese researchers have successfully grown hair on a bald mouse.
The researchers are ecstatic, and the mouse is relieved he doesn’t have
 to keep wearing that stupid toupee.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
One hot afternoon, while touring the Canyonlands of southern Utah, my husband and I pulled into the only hotel in a small town. While signing the register, we asked the young woman behind the desk if our room was air-conditioned. When she shook her head no, we hesitated, wondering if we should push on to the next town. Sensing our doubt, she brightened as she came up with a solution. “Just turn on the heater,” she suggested. “Our customers tell us all that comes out is cold air anyway.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “When someone asks you if you’re a ‘god’, you say ‘Yes’!” uttered?
Answer: Ghostbusters! When the Ghostbusters meet up with the demon, Gozer, she asks Ray if he is a god. When Ray replies “No”, Gozer says, “Then…die!” and blasts the heroes with lightning. In pain, Winston tells Ray, “When someone asks you if you’re a ‘god’, you say ‘Yes’!” The Ghostbusters, a group of scientists who have made it their job to rid the world of ghosts and ghouls, must try to save the world from the Gozer, the Gozerian, who has come destroy the world.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “Keyboard. How quaint.”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
There are three houses built exactly the same. One is filled with cotton, the other with wood, and the third with iron. One day an arsonist sets them all on fire. The sound of sirens was growing louder at the scene. People were screaming. Which house did the ambulance try to put the fire out at first?
ANSWER:  Ambulances do not put out fires.
Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….
What does the star represent in the rebus:
A N O
T * I
TENT

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com.  

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Monday October 29, 2012.   

Resumes.  Taken from Actual Resumes and Cover Letters  –Fortune Magazine

“I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms.”

“Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”

“Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”

“Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.”

“Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”

“Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”

“It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”

“Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”

“I was working for my mom until she decided to move.”

“Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.”

“I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”

“I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.”

“My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.”

“I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.”

“Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”

“Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”

“Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”

“Marital status: often. Children: various.”

“The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.”

“Finished eighth in my class of ten.”

“References: none. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”  

Hey, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji

QUOTES OF THE DAY 
Every day that is born into the world comes like a burst of music and
rings the whole day through, and you make of it a dance, a dirge, or
a life march, as you will. Thomas Carlyle
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
I look upon every day to be lost, in which I do not make a new acquaintance.
Samuel Johnson
He, who every morning plans the transactions of the day, and
follows that plan, carries a thread that will guide him through a
labyrinth of the most busy life. Victor Hugo
Now I’m fighting cancer, everybody knows that. People ask me all the time
about how you go through your life and how’s your day, and nothing is
changed for me. Jim Valvano
Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday’s success or put its
failures behind and start over again. That’s the way life is, with a new game every
day, and that’s the way baseball is. Bob Feller
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party, everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The husband responded “When we were first married, we came to an agreement to share. I would make all the major decisions, and my wife would make all the minor decisions.” “But do you know what I just realized?” “In 60 years of marriage I don’t think we have never needed to make a major decision.”.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “1.21 gigawatts?! 1.21 gigawatts?!” With increasing incredulity, Dr. Brown is unable to fathom how he is going to come up with the power necessary to complete his task.
Answer: Back to the Future! In the film “Back to the Future” Marty travels back to 1955 and must get a young Dr. Emmett Brown (the future inventor of the time machine that brings Marty to 1955 in the first place) to help him get back to his own time. However, Dr. Brown has no idea how he can come up with enough electricity to power the time machine. Dr. Brown finally comes up with a plan to use lightning to produce the necessary power.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “When someone asks you if you’re a ‘god’, you say ‘Yes’!” uttered?
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher this common phrase?
Salt: Good morning
Pepper: Hello
ANSWER: Season’s Greetings
Monday’s Quizzlers is……….
There are three houses built exactly the same. One is filled with cotton, the other with wood, and the third with iron. One day an arsonist sets them all on fire. The sound of sirens was growing louder at the scene. People were screaming. Which house did the ambulance try to put the fire out at first?

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com. 

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Friday October 26, 2012.   

 Laws of Life: 
 
* Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five. 
 
* Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed. 
 
* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay. 
 
* Miller’s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens. 
 
* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you’ll want to be doing something else. 
 
* Weiner’s Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references. 
 
* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag. 
 
* Lampner’s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot. 
 
Hey, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, 
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 

“The European Farmer’s Union has announced that because of cold temperatures

and drought, grapes aren’t growing well and as a result this will be their worst wine

harvest in 50 years. Experts are hoping it won’t affect prices or threaten the supply

of wine, and if it does they might have to start drilling for wine offshore.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“One in every seven people on the planet now owns a cell phone. You know what’s

even more amazing? That when I go to the theater, I never sit next to any of the other six people.” -Jay Leno

“French President Francois Hollande has promised to ban schools from assigning homework.

Seriously? That’s not a European president’s platform – that was my 9th grade student council

platform. ‘I’m gonna do away with homework, and put RC Cola back in the vending machines!'” -Jimmy Fallon
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
I picked up my nine-year-old daughter from school and asked how her day had gone. A few minutes later, distracted by driving, I repeated the question, and again a few minutes after that.  Instead of annoyed, Ariana was philosophical. “Mom,” she said, “your amnesia is my deja vu.”  
 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  “No, I am your father”.

Answer: Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back! This is the famous quote by Darth Vader to Luke Skywalker. When Darth Vader asks Luke if he knows what happened to his father Luke says that Darth Vader killed him. Darth Vader then goes on to say, “No, I am your father.”

“The Empire Strikes Back” is the second installment of the original Star Wars trilogy. It tells the further story of Luke Skywalker and of the Rebellion’s fight against the Empire. Luke, a Jedi Knight in training, must rescue his friends from the Empire, but in the process must personally face Darth Vader.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  “1.21 gigawatts?! 1.21 gigawatts?!” With increasing incredulity, Dr. Brown is unable to fathom how he is going to come up with the power necessary to complete his task.

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Use the 26 letters of the alphabet to complete the ten words below, replacing each underscore with a letter. Each letter can only be used once.   1. _RI_T  2. _ALA_ _   3. _E_ _EST   4. _E_ _RY   5. _RA_E_  6. S_ _R_
7. _ _AMY  8. _EBR_  9. _O_EY  10. _RO_EC_ 
    
ANSWER:  1. WRIST  2. GALAXY  3. REQUEST  4. CELERY  5. BRAVED  6. SHIRK  7. FOAMY
8. ZEBRA  9. MONEY  10. PROJECT  
 
Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
Can you decipher this common phrase?
 
Salt: Good morning
Pepper: Hello
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com. 

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Thursday October 25, 2012.   

Why Dogs Can’t Use Computers
He’s distracted by cats chasing his mouse.
SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.
Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.
Three words: carpal paw syndrome.
Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he’s browsing http://www.purina.com instead of working.
The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.
He can’t help attacking the screen when he hears “You’ve Got Mail”.
It’s too messy to “mark” every Web site he visits.
The FETCH command isn’t available on all platforms.
He can’t stick his head out of Windows. 
Hey, that’s my story for my diet and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, 
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 

 “Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.”
– Oliver Wendell Holmes 
 
“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.” 
– Ralph Waldo Emerson 
 
“Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation 
for ’tis better to be alone than in bad company.” 
– George Washington 

 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
 A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, I’m so depressed and lonely. I don’t have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?” “I’m sure I can.” the psychiatrist replied. “Just go over and lie face down on that couch.” 
 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  “Relax, Robot. I’m going to build you a new body. Mom always said I should make new friends.”

Answer:  Lost in Space! The movie “Lost in Space” is based on the ’60s TV show of the same name. The voice of the robot who famously exclaims “Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!” is the same in the movie as the original on the TV show. The voice actor is Dick Tufeld. When Will tells the robot that he will build him a new body all the robot can do is laugh. The movie “Lost in Space” focuses on the space-traveling Robinson family and their attempts to find their way home.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from??? “No, I am your father”.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
P is to L.
M is to OK.
Hence, D is to ___ 
    
ANSWER:  RT or RTED.
 
P is to L forms PISTOL.
M is to OK forms MISTOOK.
The only letters you can add to DISTO to form a word is RT or RTED, forming DISTORT or DISTORTED. 
 
Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….
Use the 26 letters of the alphabet to complete the ten words below, replacing each underscore with a letter. Each letter can only be used once.
 
1. _RI_T
2. _ALA_ _
3. _E_ _EST
4. _E_ _RY
5. _RA_E_
6. S_ _R_
7. _ _AMY
8. _EBR_
9. _O_EY
10. _RO_EC_
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com. 

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Wednesday October 24, 2012.   

Top 10 Signs You Had Too Much of the 90s. 

Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.

Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail.

You faxed your Christmas list to your parents.

You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.

You find you need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living

You think “progressing an action plan” and “calendarizing a project” are acceptable English phrases.

You know the people at the airport hotels better than you know your next door neighbors.

You ask your friends to “think out of the box” when making Friday night plans.

You think a “half-day” means leaving at 5 o’clock

You hear more jokes via email than in person
Hey, that’s my story for my diet and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, 
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 

“Health experts have named Mississippi the fattest state in the Union.

The state bird of Mississippi? The fried chicken.” -Jay Leno
 
“This week in New Zealand, a man who lost his wedding ring in the ocean 
found it in the water over a year later. The man says the most amazing thing 
about the story is that his wife fell for it.” -Conan O’Brien
 
“Philadelphia has a new plan to ticket pedestrians who text without looking 
up while they walk. As opposed to the previous punishment: lamp posts.” -Jimmy Fallon

 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, I’m so depressed and lonely. I don’t have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?” “I’m sure I can.” the psychiatrist replied. “Just go over and lie face down on that couch.”  
 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from??? “I carried a watermelon”

Answer: Dirty Dancing! In “Dirty Dancing” this line is said by Baby the first time she meets Johnny. He asks what she is doing in the club house and she states that she was helping to carry a watermelon. Afterwards, realizing how ridiculous her response must have sounded, she rolls her eyes and, with disgust, repeats to herself “I carried a watermelon.” While on a summer vacation at a family camp, Francis “Baby”, falls in love with the dance instructor, Johnny. The movie shows how her father is not accepting of the lifestyle of the dancers and thus of them. Johnny and Baby dance in the big show, after which Johnny is fired. He comes back to dance in the final show and has Baby dance with him.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  “Relax, Robot. I’m going to build you a new body. Mom always said I should make new friends.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
The queen of death; she crawls on your stairs,
She’s always so lonely, no mate in her lair.
Her children, they leave home with such haste
For fear that their blood this new mother will taste.
On silken cord, her daughters await,
For men in their homes meet a similar fate.
Dark as new moon, her crimson belly tells time,
Her mate is passed on, he won’t tell of her crime.
If you see the black maiden, you must run in fear
One prick from her needles and pain is quite near.
    
ANSWER:  A black widow spider. Often found under stairs, in garages and other dark places.
She searches for a mate, and then kills him to provide sustenance until her children are born.
Her children leave her, because black widow spiders tend to eat anything, including their offspring.
Her poison is not generally fatal but is very painful and requires hospital care.
 
Wednesday’s Quizzlers is……….
P is to L.
M is to OK.
Hence, D is to ___
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! NICE JOB LADIES, YOU ARE BOTH BRILLIANT! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com. 

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Tuesday October 23, 2012.   

Top Ten Ten Rules of Dieting
 
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda. 
(This rule also applies to mixed drinks. Example: rum and diet coke)
 
When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if they eat more than you do.
 
When you eat with someone else, your calories don’t count if they eat more than you do.
 
Calories in food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count. Examples: hot chocolate, brandy and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
 
If you fatten everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
 
Movie related foods (Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because everyone knows that movies aren’t real.
 
When preparing food, things licked off spoons and knives have no calories. Examples: peanut butter on a knife when making a sandwich; ice cream on a spoon when making a sundae; cake frosting.
 
Broken cookie pieces contain no fat. It leaks out.
 
Foods that are the the same color have the same number of calories, Examples: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. (Note: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.)
 
Calories are a unit of heat. Therefore, frozen foods have no calories. Examples include ice cream, frozen pies and Popsicles.
 
Wild Card. Each dieter may add one rule that pertains to their particular, unique situation. For example: Pork Bar-B-Q has no fat or calories on all legal holidays in Alabama, Mississippi and Georgia. 
 
Hey, that’s my story for my diet and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, 
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 

“It is no secret that our economy is in the dumpster, because our economy

knows the dumpster is where you can sometimes find old muffins.” -Stephen Colbert

“Because Mitt Romney is a Mormon he can actually have several vice presidents.

Did you know that?” -Dave LettermanEmoji

“Hot dog pizza raises two important questions. Who came up with this monstrosity?

And how quickly can it be delivered to my house?” -Craig Ferguson

 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Fellow employees at the international company where I work know I’m a notary public and have me certify personal documents. 
One day, two Swedish men asked me to witness signatures on an automobile title. “I’m selling my car to this man,” one of them explained. “We came here because we heard you were notorious.”
 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  “I can see it’s dangerous for you, but if the government trusts me, maybe you could.”

Answer: Top Gun! LT. Pete “Maverick” Mitchell is the star in this high-flying adventure of the Navy’s top fighter pilots. This particular quote comes when Maverick is talking to Charlie and he is trying to get her interested in him. She, however, is his instructor and feels that it would be inappropriate to be in a relationship with him, to which he replies “I can see it’s dangerous for you, but if the government trusts me, maybe you could.”

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  “I carried a watermelon”

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you find the one word for each list that can be added to the end of each word in its list to create a new word, compound word, or phrase?    round show  throw grow     out  be  in  sub    put  shake  get  hoe
 
ANSWER: up   side  down  upside-down! 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….
The queen of death; she crawls on your stairs,
She’s always so lonely, no mate in her lair.
Her children, they leave home with such haste
For fear that their blood this new mother will taste.
On silken cord, her daughters await,
For men in their homes meet a similar fate.
Dark as new moon, her crimson belly tells time,
Her mate is passed on, he won’t tell of her crime.
If you see the black maiden, you must run in fear
One prick from her needles and pain is quite near.
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com. 

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Monday October 22, 2012.   

Computer Tech Questions
 
Tech Support: “How much free space do you have on your hard drive?”
Customer: “Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?”
Overheard in a computer shop: Customer: “I’d like a mouse mat, please.”
Salesperson: “Certainly sir, we’ve got a large variety.”
Customer: “But will they be compatible with my computer?”
 
Customer: “Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?”
Customer: “So that’ll get me connected to the Internet, right?”
Tech Support: “Yeah.”
Customer: “And that’s the latest version of the Internet, right?”
Tech Support: “Uhh…uh…uh…yeah.”Emoji
 
Customer: “My computer crashed!”
Tech Support: “It crashed?”
Customer: “Yeah, it won’t let me play my game.”
Tech Support: “Alright, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot.”
Customer: “No, it didn’t crash — it crashed.”
Tech Support: “Huh?”
Customer: “I crashed my game. That’s what I said before. Now it doesn’t work.”
Turned out, the user was playing Lunar Lander and crashed his spaceship.
Tech Support: “Click on ‘File,’ then ‘New Game.’”
Customer: [pause] “Wow! How’d you learn how to do that?” 
 
Hey, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, 
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 

Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Exercise to stimulate, not to annihilate. The world wasn’t formed in a day,
and neither were we. Set small goals and build upon them.
Lee Haney
The great questions of the day will not be settled by means of speeches
and majority decisions but by iron and blood.
Otto von Bismarck
I’m not one of those complicated, mixed-up cats. I’m not looking for the
secret to life… I just go on from day to day, taking what comes.
Frank Sinatra
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Jennifer watched as the cashier rang up her purchases. “Cash, check or charge?” She asked after folding the items Jennifer had bought. As she fumbled for her wallet The cashier noticed a television remote control in her purse. “Do you always carry your TV remote?” The cashier asked. “No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the best retaliation.”.Emoji
 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  “Andy’s going to college. Can you believe it?”

Answer: “Toy Story 3” was released in 2010. It is about Andy’s toys once again, but this time, instead of being moved to the attic, they are accidentally sent to a day care. Now they must escape. Once again Tom Hanks and Tim Allen reprise their voice roles as Woody and Buzz.

The film was also the first Pixar film to earn one billion dollars at the box office. The quote is said by Andy’s mom. It is near the beginning of the movie, a quote that first tells us about Andy being all grown up. The toys are in the day care because of Andy growing up and not needing them anymore.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  “I can see it’s dangerous for you, but if the government trusts me, maybe you could.”

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
What is the meaning of this rebus?  ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQUSTRVWXYZ
ANSWER: You are out of order (the letters “U” and “R” have traded places; U R out of order). 
 
Monday’s Quizzlers is……….
Can you find the one word for each list that can be added to the end of each word in its list to create a new word, compound word, or phrase?
 
round
show 
throw
grow
 
 
out
be
in
sub
 
 
put
shake 
get
hoe
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com.