Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t
want to be seen with. (Or when you’re having a really bad hair day…)
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. (In my case, this is known as “The Parking Lot Law” – I park our new car as far away from the building entrance and other cars as I can. There are 35 vacant parking spaces between me and the nearest vehicle. When I return to my car, I can’t even open the driver’s door because of the banged-up old pickup parked snugly next to me – and there are still 33 unoccupied parking spots all around us.)
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are
directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s Law: If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
Hey that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Monday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Starbucks is planning to close down all the restrooms in its New York locations.
Which explains the most popular new Starbucks order: An empty cup.” -Jimmy Fallon
“If women have excessive belly fat and a muffin-top, it can be fatal.
Especially if you mention it to her.” -Jay Leno
“A woman in California is being studied because she says she remembers everything
from the last 12 years. And I’m thinking, ‘Wait a minute isn’t that every woman?'” -Dave Letterman
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. He told me, ‘I have a 22 year old wife at home. She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.’ I continued, ‘Well, then why are you crying?’
He added, ‘She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favourite biscuits, cleans the house and then watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon.’
I said, ‘Well, why are you crying?’ He said, ‘For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favourite dessert and then we cuddle until the small hours.’
I inquired, ‘Well then, why in the world would you be crying?’ He replied, ‘I can’t remember where I live.’….
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need…roads.”
Answer: Back to the Future! Dr. Emmett Brown (Christopher Lloyd) says this to Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) in response to Marty’s concern that Doc’s time-travelling DeLorean won’t have enough room on his street to achieve 88 MPH, the requisite speed to achieve time travel. What Marty doesn’t know is that the DeLorean has been upgraded, and can now fly! “Back to the Future” concerns itself with the idea of a teenager travelling back in time and interfering (accidentally, for the most part) with the events that led his parents to get together, and cause him to exist in the first place.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Mein Fuhrer! I can walk!”
TODAY’S MOVIE BUFF OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! GREAT SOLVING KIM!
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
By using each set of letters below, create a compound word out of two separate words. Each of the separate words has a letter in common and that letter is given in the correct position for each word. Use the letters provided only once. The compound word may begin with either of the two separate words.
Example: MIOMST _ _ _ E _ _ _ E Answer: SOMETIME
1. DILUER B _ _ _ B _ _ _ 2. LERPWPL A _ _ _ A _ _ _ 3. LENPIR _ _ A _ _ A _ _ 4. FRACSIB _ _ _ E _ _ _ E _ 5. CIRONT _ _ A _ _ A _ _
6. MEENS O _ _ _ O _ _ 7. BACODAD _ _ _ R _ _ _ R _ 8. RAGELIFI N _ _ _ _ _ N _ _ _ 9. CEPLUSEP A _ _ _ _ _ A _ _ _
The answers are: 1. BLUEBIRD 2. WALLPAPER 3. AIRPLANE 4. BRIEFCASE 5. RAINCOAT
6. SOMEONE 7. CARDBOARD 8. FINGERNAIL 9. APPLESAUCE
Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….
Professor C. D. Rock ran out of , so he went to Teaserville to buy some more. After arriving there he went to 6 different stores. He first went to the “Theater” to buy some teasers about movies. He then went to the “ER Hospital” to buy teasers about health, and the human body. Then he went to, in order, the “Art Center,” the “Supermarket,” and the “Energy Plantation.” He then went to one last store. It was one of the following:
B. High School
C. Dance Arena
E. Dog Pound
F. Railroad Station
G. Petting Zoo
Can you figure out which place Professor C. D. Rock visited lastly?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com., http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.