Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Tuesday July 31, 2012. Laws………

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t
want to be seen with. (Or when you’re having a really bad hair day…)

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. (In my case, this is known as “The Parking Lot Law” – I park our new car as far away from the building entrance and other cars as I can. There are 35 vacant parking spaces between me and the nearest vehicle. When I return to my car, I can’t even open the driver’s door because of the banged-up old pickup parked snugly next to me – and there are still 33 unoccupied parking spots all around us.)

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are
directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s Law: If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Hey that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Monday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Starbucks is planning to close down all the restrooms in its New York locations.
Which explains the most popular new Starbucks order: An empty cup.” -Jimmy Fallon

“If women have excessive belly fat and a muffin-top, it can be fatal.
Especially if you mention it to her.” -Jay Leno

“A woman in California is being studied because she says she remembers everything
from the last 12 years. And I’m thinking, ‘Wait a minute isn’t that every woman?'” -Dave Letterman

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. He told me, ‘I have a 22 year old wife at home. She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.’ I continued, ‘Well, then why are you crying?’
He added, ‘She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favourite biscuits, cleans the house and then watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon.’
I said, ‘Well, why are you crying?’ He said, ‘For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favourite dessert and then we cuddle until the small hours.’
I inquired, ‘Well then, why in the world would you be crying?’ He replied, ‘I can’t remember where I live.’….

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need…roads.”
Answer: Back to the Future! Dr. Emmett Brown (Christopher Lloyd) says this to Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) in response to Marty’s concern that Doc’s time-travelling DeLorean won’t have enough room on his street to achieve 88 MPH, the requisite speed to achieve time travel. What Marty doesn’t know is that the DeLorean has been upgraded, and can now fly! “Back to the Future” concerns itself with the idea of a teenager travelling back in time and interfering (accidentally, for the most part) with the events that led his parents to get together, and cause him to exist in the first place.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Mein Fuhrer! I can walk!”

TODAY’S MOVIE BUFF OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! GREAT SOLVING KIM!

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
By using each set of letters below, create a compound word out of two separate words. Each of the separate words has a letter in common and that letter is given in the correct position for each word. Use the letters provided only once. The compound word may begin with either of the two separate words.

Example: MIOMST _ _ _ E _ _ _ E Answer: SOMETIME

1. DILUER B _ _ _ B _ _ _ 2. LERPWPL A _ _ _ A _ _ _ 3. LENPIR _ _ A _ _ A _ _ 4. FRACSIB _ _ _ E _ _ _ E _ 5. CIRONT _ _ A _ _ A _ _

6. MEENS O _ _ _ O _ _ 7. BACODAD _ _ _ R _ _ _ R _ 8. RAGELIFI N _ _ _ _ _ N _ _ _ 9. CEPLUSEP A _ _ _ _ _ A _ _ _

The answers are: 1. BLUEBIRD 2. WALLPAPER 3. AIRPLANE 4. BRIEFCASE 5. RAINCOAT
6. SOMEONE 7. CARDBOARD 8. FINGERNAIL 9. APPLESAUCE
Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….
Professor C. D. Rock ran out of teasers, so he went to Teaserville to buy some more. After arriving there he went to 6 different stores. He first went to the “Theater” to buy some teasers about movies. He then went to the “ER Hospital” to buy teasers about health, and the human body. Then he went to, in order, the “Art Center,” the “Supermarket,” and the “Energy Plantation.” He then went to one last store. It was one of the following:

A. Library
B. High School
C. Dance Arena
D. Saloon
E. Dog Pound
F. Railroad Station
G. Petting Zoo
H. Carnival

Can you figure out which place Professor C. D. Rock visited lastly?

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com., http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Monday July 30, 2012. Sometimes I Wonder…….
If mummies are from egypt,then from where are daddies from?
Should vegetarians attend meetings?
If you mix flour, water and salt you get glue. If you add eggs, baking powder and oil, you get cake. Where does the glue go?
If breaks are meant to be slow… then why do they call it “breakfast”?
How can the cemetry raise it’s burial costs and blame it on the price of living?
Why do they leave out the letter b on “Garage Sale” signs?
Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?
Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?
Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?
Why do they have ear piercing while you wait? Is there some shop where you can drop them off and pick them up later?
Adam and Eve were the first people on earth………...Did they have belly buttons?
A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?
Are unripened oranges called greens?
A wise old owl sat on an oak, The more he saw the less he spoke; The less he spoke the more he heard; Why can’t we be like that wise old bird?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Can it be a mistake that “desserts” gives “stressed” spelled backwards?
Could your eyes be called an academy, because there are pupils there?
Crime doesn’t pay. . .does that mean that my job is a crime?
Did Noah include termites on the ark?
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
Does the name “Pavlov” ring a bell?
Ding Dong people that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Monday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
Unknown

Arguing about whether the glass is half full or half empty misses the point,
which is this: the bartender cheated you.
Unknown

Thank you Facebook, I can now farm without going outside, cook without being in my kitchen,
feed fish I don’t have & waste an entire day without having a life.
Unknown

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

In the primary school, I was an outstanding student. My teacher would send me to stand outside of the class as a punishment.

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
An English professor wrote the words, “Woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.” The women wrote: “Woman: Without her, man is nothing.”

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? A: “I think we should be leaving now.” B: “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

Answer: Pulp Fiction! That’s Vincent Vega (John Travolta) and Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) realizing that they should depart from the scene of several crimes (aggravated assault, mostly) before the police arrive. They then tuck their guns into their waistbands and exit the diner. “Pulp Fiction” is made up of three story arcs which are told out of order and intersect in sometimes unexpected ways. The film is basically writer/director Quentin Tarantino’s love letter to film noir-style magazines like “Black Mask”.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need…roads.”

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
In the four sentences below, are two blanks. You must fill them in with words that are either anagrams, synonyms, antonyms, or homonyms. You can only use each of these one time each sentence. Can you figure out each word?

1. In the second ____ of the play, she was looking at a family ____.
2. The historical ____ was clearly in my ____.
3. The circus had to ____ the lion’s ____.
4. We tried to ____ the ____ tank with water, so the fish could live in it.
The answers are: 1. In the second SCENE of the play, she was looking at a family PHOTO. (synonyms)
2. The historical SITE was clearly in my SIGHT. (homonyms)
3. The circus had to TAME the lion’s MATE. (anagrams)
4. We tried to FILL (or CLEAN) the EMPTY (or DIRTY) tank, so the fish could live in it. (antonym)

 

Monday’s Quizzlers is……….
By using each set of letters below, create a compound word out of two separate words. Each of the separate words has a letter in common and that letter is given in the correct position for each word. Use the letters provided only once. The compound word may begin with either of the two separate words.

Example: MIOMST _ _ _ E _ _ _ E Answer: SOMETIME

1. DILUER
B _ _ _
B _ _ _

2. LERPWPL
_ A _ _
_ A _ _ _

3. LENPIR
_ _ A _ _
A _ _

4. FRACSIB
_ _ _ E
_ _ _ E _

5. CIRONT
_ _ A _
_ A _ _

6. MEENS
O _ _
_ O _ _

7. BACODAD
_ _ _ R _
_ _ R _

8. RAGELIFI
N _ _ _
_ _ N _ _ _

9. CEPLUSEP
A _ _ _ _
_ A _ _ _

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com., http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Friday July 27, 2012. Once Again…Confucius Say……

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratches rear should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Hourglasses are waste of time.

Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.

All men eat, but Fu Man Chu.

War doesn’t determine who is right, war determines who is left.

Girl who go camping must beware of evil intent.

If you want pretty nurse, you must be patient.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

Man who drive like hell bound to get there.

Modern house without toilet uncanny.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful weekend people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Olympics can inspire American kids to get active. Or it can inspire American kids
to sit on the couch and watch the Olympics.” -Conan O’Brien

“A chef from McDonald’s just revealed the recipe to the Big Mac’s secret sauce. Even more
surprising he also revealed the McRib’s secret meat.” -Jimmy Fallon

“The NBA will start advertising on player uniforms. The Celtics will be the Boston
Market Celtics. Denver, they will be the Chicken McNuggets.” -Jimmy Kimmel

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
“Do you remember first meeting your wife?” “Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and
promised her that if she agreed to marry me, she would begin a new life and I’d never allow her near the gutter again.”
“Wow, what an incredible story! I hope she appreciates what you did for her.” “Not really. Even though she stunk at it,
Jill hated to give up bowling.”

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Hey — you wanna see something REALLY scary?”

Answer: Twilight Zone: The Movie! The prologue of this film ends with Dan Aykroyd’s hitchhiking character posing exactly this question to the hapless driver (Albert Brooks) who was dumb enough to pick him up…and subsequently shuffles loose this mortal coil at the monstrous hands of his passenger. Aykroyd shows up again at the end of the film, somehow posing as an ambulance driver. He asks John Valentine (John Lithgow), the patient in the back of the ambulance, the same question. Bad news for Mr. Valentine!

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? A: “I think we should be leaving now.” B: “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What expression is represented here where Tuesday is concerned?
Monday: Well behaved rabbit
Tuesday: Naughty rabbit
Wednesday: Obedient rabbit
The answers are: A bad hair (hare) day

 

Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
In the four sentences below, are two blanks. You must fill them in with words that are either anagrams, synonyms, antonyms, or homonyms. You can only use each of these one time each sentence. Can you figure out each word?

1. In the second ____ of the play, she was looking at a family ____.

2. The historical ____ was clearly in my ____.

3. The circus had to ____ the lion’s ____.

4. We tried to ____ the ____ tank with water, so the fish could live in it.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com., http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Thursday July 26, 2012. Did you know????

Apples are Female – the best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don’t want to reach for them as they’re afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Wine is Male – it begins as a grape, and it’s up to women to stomp the crap out of it until it turns into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Ziploc Bags are Male – they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

Copiers are Female – once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. It’s an effective reproductive device if the right buttons
are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

A Tire is Male – it goes bald and it is often over-inflated.

A Hot Air Balloon is Male – to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it (of course, there’s the hot air part, too).

Sponges are Female – they’re soft, squeezable and retain water.

A Web Page is Female – it is always getting hit on.

A Subway is Male – it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

An Hourglass is Female – over time the weight shifts to the bottom.

A Hammer is Male – it hasn’t changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it is handy to have around.

A Remote Control is Female – it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know
the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!

A Water Faucet is Female – it can turn hot or cold in just a matter of moments.

A Safety Pin is Male – it is often useful in an emergency.

A Foreign Movie is Female – it is not always completely understood.

A Computer is Female – even your smallest mistakes are stored in memory. (E-V-E-R-Y T-H-I-N-G!)

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly,
and for the same reason.” – José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

”Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong” – Unknown

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” – Brian Gerald O’Driscoll

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go” – Oscar Wilde

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”
– Abraham Lincoln (paraphrase from the Bible, ‘Proverbs’ 17:28)

“The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.” – Unknown

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes.” – Albert Einstein

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Wait. What’s her name?”

Answer: Red Dragon! I wasn’t as fond of this 2002 film as I was of “Manhunter”, Michael Mann’s 1986 adaptation of the novel by Thomas Harris…but I have to admit that director Brett Ratner’s idea to weave a closer connection between the first Hannibal Lecter story and the second was pretty clever. Hannibal (Anthony Hopkins) speaks these lines to his jailer, Dr. Chilton (Anthony Heald) after being told that there is a young female FBI agent wanting to meet him.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Hey — you wanna see something REALLY scary?”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
A Name Train is a puzzle where each name is connected together like box cars in a train. You are given the first car (the Engine) and the last car (the caboose), and you have to fill in the car or cars in between. Every two consecutive cars will form a name of a person or character. Here is an example Name Train: Joan [ ] Li. The answer is Joan Jet Li (Joan Jet-Female singer, Jet Li-Actor) Ready? OK here goes:

1. Chris [ ] Hudson
2. Chris [ ] Asimov
3. Boy [ ] [ ] Ford
4. Elton [ ] [ ] Newton
5. Curious [ ] [ ] [ ] Browne
The answers are: 1. Chris Rock Hudson, 2. Chris Isaac Asimov, 3. Boy George Harrison Ford,
4. Elton John Wayne Newton, 5. Curious George Michael Jackson Browne

 

Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….
What expression is represented here where Tuesday is concerned?

Monday: Well behaved rabbit
Tuesday: Naughty rabbit
Wednesday: Obedient rabbit

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com., http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Wednesday July 25, 2012.

The Top Signs You’re Out of Shape…..

1. You’ve ever torn something just trying to turn off the alarm clock.

2. People at work only refer to you by saying, “Hey, Fatso!”

3. You’ve thrown your back out by carrying a bag of groceries.

4. Random strangers come up, poke you in the stomach and expect you to giggle.

5. Your record is 34 Pushups and you could have done more if the Ice Cream Man would have taken plastic.

6. You get the Christmas gift of Jigglin’ To The Oldies.

7. You cramp up while watching the New York City Marathon.

8. Watching Rocky 5 is your idea of a workout video.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Tuesday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
– Plato

“Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom.”
– Bob Dylan

“Today 7-eleven stores in Singapore debuted a new food dispenser, an instant mashed potato dispenser.
This means the Indonesians are pulling ahead of us in the cholesterol race.
This is serious. We may have to raise our threat level to defcon bacon.” -Craig Ferguson

“We are in the worst drought in 56 years. That seems unbelievably negative.
Wouldn’t that be the best drought?” -Jimmy Kimmel

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 20mph for it to start.
She said fine, hopped into her car and drove off. I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing.
A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror coming at me at about 30 mph, I realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions…

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Man, if this is their idea of Christmas, I can’t wait to see what they have in mind for New Year’s!”

Answer: Die Hard! Limo driver Argyle (De’voreaux White) muses aloud to himself as he hops into his limousine to drive John McClane (Bruce Willis) and his wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) to her California home. “Die Hard” set new standards in action films, as it pitted a lone policeman against a band of terrorists in a confined space.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Wait. What’s her name?”

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher these common Christmas Carols?
1. Happiness to the Global Ecosystem
2. Small male percussionist
3. I am experiencing nocturnal visions of a colorless holiday
4. Festoon the Corridors
5. A Non-summer fairytale area
6. Oh holiday conifer
7. Ten plus two twenty-four hour periods of holiday festivity
8. Hey tiny city in Israel
9. In a remote location in a barn stall
The answers are: 1. Joy to the World, 2. Little Drummer Boy, 3. I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas, 4. Deck the Halls
5. Winter Wonderland, 6. Oh Christmas Tree, 7. 12 Days of Christmas, 8. Oh Little Town of Bethlehem, 9. Away in a Manger

 

Wednesday’s Quizzlers is……….
A Name Train is a puzzle where each name is connected together like box cars in a train. You are given the first car (the Engine) and the last car (the caboose), and you have to fill in the car or cars in between. Every two consecutive cars will form a name of a person or character. Here is an example Name Train: Joan [ ] Li. The answer is Joan Jet Li (Joan Jet-Female singer, Jet Li-Actor) Ready? OK here goes:

1. Chris [ ] Hudson
2. Chris [ ] Asimov
3. Boy [ ] [ ] Ford
4. Elton [ ] [ ] Newton
5. Curious [ ] [ ] [ ] Browne

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD. INCREDIBLE SOLVING JOB KIM!

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com., http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/

http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Tuesday July 24, 2012. TRUTH…….

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday.

The following week she asked each child in turn what they had learned.

Susie said, “He was born in a manger.”

Bobby said, “He threw the money changers out of the temple.”

Little Johnny said, “He has a red pickup truck but he doesn’t know how to drive it.”

Curious, the teacher asked, “And where did you learn that, Johnny?”

“From my Daddy,” said Johnny. “Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us
and Daddy yelled at him, ‘Jesus Christ! Why don’t you learn how to drive?'”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are more likely to have health problems.
Or as those people put it, ‘I was afraid of that.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“In Michigan, a man was too drunk to drive, so he had his 9-year-old daughter drive their van for
him. Yeah. As he was being arrested, he told the girl, ‘I’m going to need a lawyer.
Go get your little brother.'” -Conan O’Brien

“Plans are under way in England to build a laser they say is powerful enough to tear apart
the fabric of space. Well, what could go wrong there?” -Jay Leno
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
My boss, who was out of the office, phoned me today. He asked, “Is everything okay at the office?”
I answered, “Yes, it’s all under control. It’s been a very busy day, so I haven’t stopped to even take a breath.”
My boss then asked, “Can you do me a favor?”
I replied, “Of course. What is it?”
He said, “Pick up the pace a little. I’m in the foursome behind you.”

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? A: “There’s a storm coming.” B: “I know.”

Answer: The Terminator! Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), by the end of this 1984 film, knows that most of the world’s
population will be dead after a worldwide nuclear cataclysm destined to occur on August 29, 1997. That’s some storm.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Man, if this is their idea of Christmas, I can’t wait to see what they have in mind for New Year’s!”

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Each statement describes two words that when fused together create a new unrelated word (not a compound word). The clues do not necessarily indicate in which order the two words are attached. Example: This is the oldness of a tablet (pill + age = pillage).
1) This is a royal golf score.
2) This is what you get from a bovine tongue.
3) This is a distant object.
4) This is a country of water barriers.

The answers are:
1) par + king = parking
2) cow + lick = cowlick
3) far + thing = farthing
4) dam + nation = damnation

 

Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….
Can you decipher these common Christmas Carols?

1. Happiness to the Global Ecosystem
2. Small male percussionist
3. I am experiencing nocturnal visions of a colorless holiday
4. Festoon the Corridors
5. A Non-summer fairytale area
6. Oh holiday conifer
7. Ten plus two twenty-four hour periods of holiday festivity
8. Hey tiny city in Israel
9. In a remote location in a barn stall

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com.,

http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/

http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Friday July 20, 2012.
[Following are some very funny spelling bloopers caught in local newspapers,
publications and various emails. See if you can catch the goofs.]

1. “…an autopsy to determine if the elderly man lost courteousness for medical reasons.” (Trenton, N.J.)

2. “[An NBA coach] will take charge of a young team still in the throws of a roster overhaul.” (Vernon, Conn.)

3. “‘It’s pretty exciting,’ according to his material grandmother.” (Potsdam, N.Y.)

4. “The MCCC fight team won 21 out of 32 awards and brought home nine metals.” Including the gold? (Trenton, N.J.)

5. “McNabb…exasperated the injury attempting to chase down Dallas Cowboys safety Roy Williams.” (Trenton, N.J.)

6. “Boxer Pups AKC, 1M, 1F, Bread for Health and Temperament.” (e-mail)

7. “[Paris Hilton] was probably going through cocaine withdrawls.” Is she from the South? (Sunnyvale, Calif.)

8. “Our lunch menu [includes] a variety of hot entrees and tempting deserts.” Presumably also hot. (Upper Saint Clair, Pa.)

9. “Vincent was a brawny Swiss ex-patriot.” (San Jose, CA)

10. “…those who acquaint shopping with charity.” (Simsbury, Conn.) –

Corrections: 1. consciousness 2. throes 3. maternal 4. medals 5. exacerbated 6. bred 7.
withdrawals 8. desserts 9. expatriate 10. equate

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Weekend people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Farmers in France have started giving their cows two bottles of wine every day,
in order to make better beef. Unfortunately, all the cows wind up doing is texting their ex-milkers.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It’s for the American Olympic team and it’s berets.
To me, nothing says America like a guy in a beret. Look at our founding fathers,
they all wore berets.” -David Letterman

“The FBI is investigating a recent flight. Passengers found needles in their turkey
sandwiches. Thank god it was just needles and not a real threat to safety like a
9 oz. bottle of body lotion.” -Jimmy Kimmel

 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

I went to the butcher’s the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn’t reach the meat off the
top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “You’re the first woman I’ve seen in one of these things that dresses like a woman, not like a woman thinks a man would dress if he was a woman.”
Answer: Working Girl! These words were said by Jack to Tess, during the merger party. The plot of the 1988 film “Working Girl” revolved around an ambitious career woman, Tess McGill, (played by Melanie Griffith). After being misled by a colleague, Tess decided to take matters into her own hands and, with her boss out of the office, concocted a plan to get herself promoted.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? A: “There’s a storm coming.” B: “I know.”

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

In a sylasearch I give you a syllable-starter, which is the first syllable in the words you are to find. I will also give you a listing of the other syllables

(in which each may only be used once) which you must use to figure out the 9 words.

Syllable List – a, a, a, al, don, en, graph, ic, ka, keet, lel, ly, med, ses, the, tial, ty

Syllable-starter: par

How many syllables, each word has:

1. (2) 2. (2) 3. (2) 4. (3) 5. (3) 6. (3) 7. (3) 8. (4) 9. (4)

The answers are: 1. Parka (par ka) 2. Pardon (par don) 3. Party (par ty) 4. Paragraph (par a graph) 5. Parallel (par al lel)

6. Parakeet (par a keet) 7. Partially (par tial ly) 8. Parentheses (par en the ses) 9. Paramedic (par a med ic)
Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
Each statement describes two words that when fused together create a new unrelated word (not a compound word). The clues do not necessarily indicate in which order the two words are attached. Example: This is the oldness of a tablet (pill + age = pillage).

1) This is a royal golf score.

2) This is what you get from a bovine tongue.

3) This is a distant object.

4) This is a country of water barriers.

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com.,

http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/

http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.