Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Thursday May 31, 2012.
People born before 1946 are called – The Greatest Generation.
People born between 1946 and 1964 are called – The Baby Boomers.
People born between 1965 and 1979 are called – Generation X.
And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called – Generation Y.
Why do we call the last group – Generation Y ?
Y should I get a job?
Y should I leave home and find my own place?
Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?
Y should I clean my room?
Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?
Y should I buy any food?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people,

and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Eugene Polly, the guy who invented the TV remote control, passed away.
He will be buried between two couch cushions.” -Dave Letterman

“Here’s an election update. Today Mitt Romney met with a group of wealthy
Latino business owners. Or as Romney calls them, ‘the Juan percent.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“I admit that I get angry in traffic when driving to work. But it’s pointless.
It’s much better to bottle up that anger and then unleash it when
you get to work.” -Craig Ferguson

 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The “friends and survivors” of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors and posted them on their web site:

“He swept the rug under the carpet.”
“She’s burning the midnight oil at both ends.”
“It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire.”
“It’s time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard.”
“She’s robbing Peter to pay the piper.”
“He’s up a tree without a paddle.”
“Beware my friend…you are skating on hot water.”
“Keep your ear to the grindstone.”
“Sometimes you’ve gotta stick your neck out on a limb.”
“Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter.”

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “It is unsinkable. God himself could not sink this ship.”

Answer: Titanic! We, as viewers, should have seen this coming. They shouldn’t have said anything. Cal (played by Billy Zane) said this quote earlier in the movie but many characters of James Cameron’s award-winning “Titanic” made some note as to the ship’s ‘unsinkability‘. Long story short–it sunk. The irony and steadfastness of peoples’ comments about the Titanic, the largest ship of its kind, only served to fuel the tragedy of the movie which followed the love story of Jack and Rose (Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet) before and during the ship’s sinking in 1912. “Titanic” broke records all around for box office totals, Academy Awards, etc. Cameron would later direct “Avatar” in 2010 and DiCaprio and Winslet would star in “Revolutionary Road” together in 2008. While Winslet was nominated for an Oscar for “Titanic” she didn’t win. Both actors would be nominated in later years with Winslet taking hers for “The Reader” (also in 2008).

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I have to go to the bathroom but I heard about a woman who
went to the bathroom on the plane–she got sucked into the toilet. Sucked right in.”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Insert the word from group B into the empty spaces in group A.

1. Ta__ __ __ __ry, 2. K__ __ __ __en, 3. D__ __ __ __le, 4. S__ __ __ __et, 5. T__ __ __ __t

Group B
A. Herb, B. Itch, C. Able, D. Pest, E. Wind

ANSWER: 1. Tapestry (D), 2. Kitchen (B), 3. Dwindle (E), 4. Sherbet (A), 5. Tablet (C)
Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….

A phobia is an irrational fear or hatred of a specific thing or situation which compels one to avoid it despite awareness and reassurance that the object or situation is not dangerous. Listed below are the names and definitions of six phobias. Five are real phobias documented in psychology journals, while one is an imposter. Can you determine which one from the list below is not a real phobia?

Trichopathophobia – Fear of hair
Pentheraphobia – Fear of mother-in-law
Aibohphobia – Fear of Palindromes
Doraphobia – Fear of fur or skins of animals
Logizomechanophobia – Fear of computers.
Onomatophobia- Fear of hearing a certain word or of certain names.

 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com.,

http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/

http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Wednesday May 30, 2012. ELEVEN GREAT PUNS ABOUT THE LAW

11) Lawyers wear law suits.

10) Next time you get a lawyer a drink, give him just-ice.

9) A lawyer using a facsimile machine must be sure to get his fax straight.

8) A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.

7) Does a lawyer representing an angry cow find just cause for sour milk in a dairy case?

6) A detective likes to have a brief case.

5) The detective who went to investigate a burned down post office figured that it must be blackmail.

4) There are many judges who would like to acquit smoking.

3) Old judges never die, they just slur their sentences.

2) A police dog is often the scenter of a drug arrest.

1) If there’s one person you don’t want to interrupt in the middle of a sentence, it’s a judge.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“One doesn’t have a sense of humor. It has you.”
– Larry Gelbart

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”
– Steven Wright

“Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.”
– Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

The dictionary definition of oxymoron is:– A rhetorical figure of speech in which contradictory terms are paired, for example, alone together, current history or boneless ribs. However, with an oxymoron the incongruous word pairing conveys a truth or a dramatic result.

It is possible to sub-divide English oxymorons into three main categories:
a) Pure puns such as gourmet pizza.
b) Accidents, like an original copy.
c) Paradoxes, my favourite example is ‘serious joke’.
d) An alternative zany definition for an oxymoron: One who forgets to breathe!

The word oxymoron is derived from the Greek oxumōros, which means ‘obviously foolish’, a Latin equivelent would be: contradictio in terminis. Incidentally, the related word sideroxylon specifically refers to a mismatch between the noun and its adjective, e.g. cold fire.
As I ponder the word oxymoron, I cannot decide which plural is the better Oxymora or oxymorons. I also cannot get the syllable ‘moron’ out of my mind.

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Well for me, the worst way would be for a bunch of old men to get around me, and start biting and eating me alive.”

Answer: Return of the Living Dead! An alternative to George A. Romero’s zombie timeline (the “…of the Living Dead” films), “Return of the Living Dead” was Dan O’Bannon’s first entry into the long-running zombie canon and it introduced fully-functioning, talking undead creatures. “Send more paramedics” comes to mind. Linnea Quigley, long known for undressing herself in 1980’s horror films, proceeded to do so after her ironic quote. She mentioned her clothes being ripped off and then, sure enough, she performed an impromptu striptease on a stone tomb. What was weirder was an abrupt instance of acid rain and her neglecting to dress herself during this incident. When the zombies started to rise from the cemetery, it was only inevitable that she was eaten alive by them. Really, she shouldn’t have said anything.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “It is unsinkable. God himself could not sink this ship.”

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

The following quotes are all by none other than Yogi Berra himself. Can you figure them out? They all use the same code.

E’O XGZ MGEXM ZG TIS OS WELQ KX UXDSDFGBULEK. FUZ ZVUO AKFW ZG QDVGGF FEWU E LEL.
EX ZVUGHS ZVUHU EQ XG LECCUHUXDU TUZAUUX ZVUGHS KXL BHKDZEDU. EX BHKDZEDU ZVUHU EQ.
TKQUTKFF EQ XEXUZS BUHDUXZ OUXZKF. ZVU GZVUH VKFC EQ BVSQEDKF.

ANSWER: I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical. -Yogi Berra
Wednesday’s Quizzlers is……….

Insert the word from group B into the empty spaces in group A.

1. Ta__ __ __ __ry
2. K__ __ __ __en
3. D__ __ __ __le
4. S__ __ __ __et
5. T__ __ __ __t

Group B

A. Herb
B. Itch
C. Able
D. Pest
E. Wind

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com.,

http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/

http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Tuesday May 29, 2012. Many a Funny Word – Spoken in Jest

The longest word in the English language. According to folk-lore Antidisestablishmentarianism is the longest word in the dictionary, it means being against separating church and state. However, floccinaucinihilipilification, a word found in the Oxford English dictionary since 1800, is one letter longer. Strange but true, this word means estimating that something is worthless!

While the Oxford English Dictionary has even longer words such as pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, these are compound technical words and many people discount them. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is ‘screeched.’
We think that “Almost” is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order. Let us know if we are wrong!
The word “listen ” contains the same letters as the word “silent”. The longest place-name still in use is Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwenuakitanatahu, a New Zealand hill.

Los Angeles’s full name is ‘El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula’ and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, ‘L.A.’

The name for Oz in the ‘Wizard of Oz’ was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence ‘Oz.’

The longest common word that you can type with just the left hand is probably ‘Stewardesses’, however there is the obscure but longer: ‘Aftercataracts’. With the right hand the longest word is Phyllophyllin. (Lolypop comes close, but as Groucho Marx would say: ‘no cigar’)
To ‘testify’ was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.

The combination ‘ough‘ can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains them all ‘A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.’

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning ‘containing arsenic.’

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A new report suggests that Christopher Columbus may have secretly been Jewish.
What tipped historians off was Columbus’ diary entry where he described his journey
to America as ‘a real schlep.'” -Conan O’Brien

“If women have excessive belly fat and a muffin-top, it can
be fatal. Especially if you mention it to her.” -Jay Leno

“A lot of people say they use Facebook to reconnect with old friends. No thanks.
If I’m not friends with you anymore, there’s probably a reason. And that reason
is I owe you money.” -Craig Ferguson

 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

In honor of Memorial Day, the teacher I worked with read the Constitution to her third-grade class.
After reading “We the people,” she paused to ask the children what they thought that meant.
One boy raised his hand and asked, “Is that like ‘We da bomb?'”

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “It’s, you know, it’s like a surprise, but don’t worry, it’s nothing embarrassing. Not anything like baton twirling or anything.”

Answer: Miss Congeniality! In this scene, Gracie Hart (Bullock) took some of the other girls in the Miss United States pageant out for a fun girls night at a local nightclub in order to semi-interrogate Miss Rhode Island, a suspect in a nefarious bombing plot at that very pageant. Hart was asked about her talent to which she said it’s “not anything like baton twirling.”
She shouldn’t have said anything…Miss Rhode Island’s talent was baton twirling. In the end, Miss Rhode Island won and Miss New Jersey (Hart) was runner-up, even though she was an undercover FBI agent and too old to compete. The bombing plot was foiled, and Rhode Island performed her routine with flaming batons. “Miss Congeniality” was a big hit for Bullock, taking in over $200,000,000 in the box office and resulting in a sequel set in Las Vegas. It didn’t fare as well; critics loathed it and it only earned half the money.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Well for me, the worst way would be for a bunch of old men to get around me, and start biting and eating me alive.”

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

The following word pairs are anagrams which can be combined to form the name of an animal or insect.Try to figure it out.

1. Zeal, Gel, 2. Neat, Help, 3. Boa, Luff, 4. Bow, Mat, 5. Evil, Owner

ANSWER: 1. Gazelle. 2. Elephant. 3. Buffalo. 4. Wombat. 5. Wolverine.
Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….

The following quotes are all by none other than Yogi Berra himself. Can you figure them out? They all use the same code.

E’O XGZ MGEXM ZG TIS OS WELQ KX UXDSDFGBULEK. FUZ ZVUO AKFW ZG QDVGGF FEWU E LEL.

EX ZVUGHS ZVUHU EQ XG LECCUHUXDU TUZAUUX ZVUGHS KXL BHKDZEDU. EX BHKDZEDU ZVUHU EQ.

TKQUTKFF EQ XEXUZS BUHDUXZ OUXZKF. ZVU GZVUH VKFC EQ BVSQEDKF.
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com.,

http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/

http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Friday May 25, 2012. Confucius Says….

He who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep.

Eunuch not strange creature, just man cut out to be bachelor.

Man who dream of eating giant mushroom—wake up with no pillow.

Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.

He who put face in fruit drink get punch in the nose.

Butcher who backs into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.

Chemist who fall in acid, absorbed in work.

Man become old when he watch food instead of waitress.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Memorial day weekend people,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“One of the pioneers of TV passed away over the weekend, Eugene Polley,
who invented the remote control. Polley died doing what he loved
not getting up.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Some people use Facebook to check up on ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends.
That just seems creepy to me. I like it the old-fashioned way. If you want to
check up on an ex, go through their trash.” -Craig Ferguson

“That Facebook guy, Mark Zuckerberg, got married over the weekend. His
company goes public, and he’s now worth $100 billion. Then he gets married.
He may not be as smart as we thought.” -Dave Letterman

 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

The district attorney was cross-examining the murderess on the witness stand. “And so after you had poisoned the coffee and your husband sat at the breakfast table partaking of the fatal dosage, didn’t you feel any qualms? Didn’t you feel the slightest pity for him knowing that he was about to die and was wholly unconscious of it?” “Yes,” she answered. “Come to think of it…there was just a moment when I sort of felt sorry for him.” “And, when was that?” “When he asked for the second cup.”

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Oh, don’t worry about it. After all, it’s not ancient tribal burial ground.
It’s just… people. Besides we have done it before.”

Answer: Poltergeist! During this particular scene, Steve Freeling, played by Canadian actor Craig T. Nelson, asked about the further development of the local suburbs (of which he was a primary realtor). His boss decided to mention the relocation of the local cemetery which, by chance, happened to be created by native Indians many centuries earlier. Maybe he should’ve kept that one quiet. As it turned out, only moving the headstones and not exhuming the cursed tribal bodies wasn’t only bad for business, it was responsible for the horrible hauntings in the Freeling household, resulting in young Carol Anne being taken away to another realm in her closet, young son Robbie nearly being eaten by the spooky tree outside, and wife Diane nearly drowning in a pool of skeletons. In the end of the movie, the house imploded, moments after they got into the car and drove away. And that’s why you get a building inspection.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “It’s, you know, it’s like a surprise, but don’t worry, it’s nothing embarrassing. Not anything like baton twirling or anything.”

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Many of our everyday words have more than one meaning. Below are eleven pairs of definitions. Both definitions in each pair fit the same word. When read down, the first letters of the eleven answers will spell out the name of a beloved TV celebrity.
1. Spend time idly or bread unit
2. Worker’s organization or marriage
3. Pine tree fruit or ice cream holder
4. Feeling of curiosity or savings account accrual
5. Land parcel or considerable quantity
6. Illumination or not weighty at all
7. Typewriter type style or the VIP crowd
8. Baby’s toy or city square
9. Weapon or upper body appendage
10. Bowling group or three nautical miles
11. Stand at a slant or thin

ANSWER: 1. Loaf, 2. Union, 3. Cone, 4. Interest, 5. Lot, 6. Light, 7. Elite, 8. Block, 9. Arm

10. League, 11. Lean, Celebrity: Lucille Ball
Friday’s Quizzlers is……….

The following word pairs are anagrams which can be combined to form the name of an animal or insect.Try to figure it out.

1. Zeal, Gel

2. Neat, Help

3. Boa, Luff

4. Bow, Mat

5. Evil, Owner
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING THURSDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! SUPER SOLVING BANKS!

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com.,

http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/

http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏

WELCOME to Thursday May 24, 2012. Thoughts…….

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens
your life by 22 minutes. That doesn’t sound too bad to me. You’d probably
watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A new study found that 20 percent of Internet time is spent on social networking
sites. While the other 80 percent is spent hiding a Facebook window behind Excel.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday, a group of scientists warned that because of global warming, sea levels
will rise so much that parts of New Jersey will be under water. The bad news?
Parts of New Jersey won’t be under water.” –Conan O’Brien

 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

An older man strode in to his doctor’s office and said, “Doc, my druggist said to tell
you to change my prescription and to check the prescription you’ve been giving to Mrs. Smith.”
“Oh, he did, did he?” the doctor shot back. “And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor’s orders?”
The old man says, “Since he found out I’ve been on birth control pills since February.”

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “But, John. If the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don’t eat the tourists.”
Answer: Jurassic Park! When John Hammond opened Jurassic Park, in this Michael Crichton-written film from 1993, he suggested that not even Disneyland was fully functioning when it opened. Jeff Goldblum’s character, Dr. Ian Malcolm (who returned for the second movie in the series), noted the line in question, particularly because of how dangerous live dinosaurs would actually be should things get out of control. He shouldn’t have jinxed it–things went from bad to worse.
Sure, the dinosaurs were amazing, but they were also vicious and deadly, as one would expect. When a rogue worker, seeking fame and fortune by smuggling embryos out of the park, flipped the security switch and tried to escape (only to fail), he placed everyone else in danger, set the dinos loose in the park, and caused chaos that spread through several films. This was another movie in which Samuel L. Jackson was eaten by animals larger than himself.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Oh, don’t worry about it. After all, it’s not ancient tribal burial ground. It’s just… people. Besides we have done it before.” TODAY’S MOVIE DIVIA AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD FOR SOLVING WEDNESDAY’S MOVIE TRIVIA QUESTION! NICE JOB KIM!

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

In Cryptography teasers, a phrase or expressions has been encoded in some way (frequently by replacing letters with other letters). You need to figure out the encoding method and then decode the message to find the answer.

Cj jofni mytp myn vlcyf jm znj un vldyf. Jbn jlmdktn ci, C goy’j lnunuknl cw cj’i jbn jbcljnnyjb ml jbn wmdljnnyjb. – Znmlzn Kdlyi

Up zloyvumjbnl ci msnl nczbjp oyv ijctt vmniy’j ynnv ztoiini. Vlcyfi lczbj mdj mw jbn kmjjtn. – Bnyyp Pmdyzuoy

Cw pmd vlcyf, vmy’j vlcsn. Vmy’j nsny xdjj. – Vnoy Uoljcy

Hmlf ci jbn gdlin mw jbn vlcyfcyz gtoiini. – Migol Hctvn

Lnucyvi un mw up iowolc cy owlcgo. Imunkmvp wmlzmj jbn gmlfiglnh oyv wml insnlot vopi hn bov jm tcsn my ymjbcyz kdj wmmv oyv hojnl. – H. G. Wcntvi
ANSWER: It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
– George Burns

My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. – Henny Youngman

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. – Dean Martin

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. – Oscar Wilde

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. – W. C. Fields

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Z H I U Q K C W S T B R O E A Y X J V L M D F P N G
Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….

Many of our everyday words have more than one meaning. Below are eleven pairs of definitions. Both definitions in each pair fit the same word. When read down, the first letters of the eleven answers will spell out the name of a beloved TV celebrity.

1. Spend time idly or bread unit
2. Worker’s organization or marriage
3. Pine tree fruit or ice cream holder
4. Feeling of curiosity or savings account accrual
5. Land parcel or considerable quantity
6. Illumination or not weighty at all
7. Typewriter type style or the VIP crowd
8. Baby’s toy or city square
9. Weapon or upper body appendage
10. Bowling group or three nautical miles
11. Stand at a slant or thin

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com.,

http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/

http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏

WELCOME to Wednesday May 23, 2012. You Know You’re Too Stressed If…

1. The Sun is too loud.

2. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.

3. You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.

4. You and Reality file for divorce.

5. Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.

6. You can hear mimes.

7. Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend.

8. You can achieve a “Runner’s High” by sitting up.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.”
– Fran Lebowitz

“Vote early and vote often.”
– Al Capone

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.”
– Plato
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Jimmy: ‘Hey, Mike! How’s your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.’
Mike: ‘To tell the truth, I’m really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.’
Jimmy: ‘What? Let me get this straight… You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird?’
Mike: ‘Well, yeah. After all, you know, he’s a parrot fish.’
Jimmy: ‘Now listen, Mike, while you might be able to teach a parrot to sing, you’re never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.’
Mike: ‘That’s what you think! It just so happens this fish CAN sing. The thing is, he’s terribly off-key and it’s driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?’

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “What’s the point? They’re all the same. Some stupid killer stalking some big-breasted girl who can’t act, who is always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door. It’s insulting.”

Answer: Scream! In the first movie of this Wes Craven meta-fictive horror parody series, “Scream” introduced Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell), Dewey (David Arquette), and Gail (then Courtney Cox). In this particular scene, Sidney talked on the phone with the killer, a person in a ghostface mask stalking the town’s teenagers with an immense horror movie knowledge. In an attempt to be savvy, Sidney stated this quote before realizing she was on the phone with a killer.
Maybe she shouldn’t have said a word…in the next scene she ended up running up the front stairs rather than out the front door, trapping herself in her bedroom. The same sort of issue was repeated in most of the “Scream” movies. Sarah Michelle Gellar committed the horror cliche in “Scream 2” and Neve Campbell did it again in a movie set in “Scream 3”. Even Anna Faris did it in “Scary Movie”, a parody of this very film! Fortunately, it wasn’t the only act of ‘saying-not-doing’ in the series. Many of the teens facing off against Ghostface ended up falling victim to both enforced and subverted horror tropes. Critics praised the idea and claimed it reinvigorated slasher films for a new generation; viewers loved it too– the first four films grossed over $600,000,000 in total.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “But, John. If the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don’t eat the tourists.”

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.

Example: EVER – ______ – HORN

Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN

1. GRAND – _________ – OUT

2. QUARTER – ___________ – MIND

3. HAIR – _______________ – FIRE

ANSWER: 1. GRAND – STAND – OUT
2. QUARTER – MASTER – MIND
3. HAIR – BRUSH – FIRE
Wednesday’s Quizzlers is……….

In Cryptography teasers, a phrase or expressions has been encoded in some way (frequently by replacing letters with other letters). You need to figure out the encoding method and then decode the message to find the answer.

Cj jofni mytp myn vlcyf jm znj un vldyf. Jbn jlmdktn ci, C goy’j lnunuknl cw cj’i jbn jbcljnnyjb ml jbn wmdljnnyjb. – Znmlzn Kdlyi

Up zloyvumjbnl ci msnl nczbjp oyv ijctt vmniy’j ynnv ztoiini. Vlcyfi lczbj mdj mw jbn kmjjtn. – Bnyyp Pmdyzuoy

Cw pmd vlcyf, vmy’j vlcsn. Vmy’j nsny xdjj. – Vnoy Uoljcy

Hmlf ci jbn gdlin mw jbn vlcyfcyz gtoiini. – Migol Hctvn

Lnucyvi un mw up iowolc cy owlcgo. Imunkmvp wmlzmj jbn gmlfiglnh oyv wml insnlot vopi hn bov jm tcsn my ymjbcyz kdj wmmv oyv hojnl. – H. G. Wcntvi

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com.,

http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/

http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

WELCOME to Monday May 21, 2012. Think about it!

* Money doesn’t bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.

* Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.

* Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

* Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.

* Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest of your life.

* The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

* When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet you’re in a public restroom.

* Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

* The real reason you can’t take it with you is that it goes before you do.

* Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

* Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.

* A closed mouth gathers no feet.

* A man (or woman) who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

* A modern pioneer is a woman who can get through a rainy Saturday with a television on the blink.

* The world is full of willing people: some willing to work and some willing to let them.

* Money isn’t everything….there’s credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Shakespeare is inaccurate. When I read ‘Hamlet,’ I was disappointed it
wasn’t about a little ham.” -Craig Ferguson

“Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will prevent you from getting
drunk off of alcohol. It’s perfect for the drinker who wants all the calories of
alcohol but none of the fun.” -Conan O’Brien

“Police in California just burned 34,000 marijuana plants that were growing
in a state park. The police were very angry about finding all that weed until
the wind changed direction.” -Jimmy Fallon

 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

My father was extremely nervous about his first funeral service as a Navy chaplain, but the undertaker assured him that he would prompt him. All went well until, at the close, the undertaker whispered to him to instruct the family to come up and view the body. “Will the family now come forward and pass around the bier,” said my father. He cringed inwardly when he heard his own words. Later, as my father was leaving, he overheard two of the cemetery workers talking. “I didn’t get any beer,” one said. “Did you?”
“You heard the chaplain,” the other replied. “It was just for the family.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “…you’re breaking my heart! You’re going down a path I cannot follow!”

Answer: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. The third episode (chronologically) in the “Star Wars” saga, this movie followed Anakin Skywalker’s inevitable descent into the Dark Side and his transformation into Darth Vader after a battle against Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor). Padme, played by Natalie Portman, said this line to Anakin when she discovered that he had changed and been swayed by Palpatine’s darkness.
Maybe he wouldn’t have taken it hard if she kept quiet; maybe she shouldn’t have said anything.

After this confrontation, Padme gave birth to their two children, Luke and Leia, and passed away (possibly because of complications and possibly because of a lack of motivation). When Anakin became Darth Vader and asked for Padme, the dark lord replied: “It seems in your anger, you killed her.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “What’s the point? They’re all the same. Some stupid killer stalking some big-breasted girl who can’t act, who is always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door. It’s insulting.”

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you unscramble the countries in Part 1 and match them with the appropriate fact about them in Part 2? And your answer is?

Part 1

1. HCAIN

2. GRIINAE 3. PAJNA 4. SUKTROOAEH 5. MIKUDITDNENGO 6. HUFAIORSACT 7. MNAAORI
Part 2

1. This is the world’s most populous country.

2. The capital of this country is Abuja.

3. This is the only country to ever suffer an attack with atomic weapons.

4. The capital of this country is Seoul.

5. This country is a great industrial power despite the fact that it must import many resources.

6. The capital of this country is Pretoria.

7. Dracula’s home, Transylvania, is in this country.

ANSWER: 1. China: This is the world’s most populous country.

2. Nigeria: The capital of this country is Abuja.

3. Japan: This is the only country to ever suffer an attack with atomic weapons.

4. South Korea: The capital of this city is Seoul.

5. United Kingdom: This country is a great industrial power despite the fact that it must import many resources.

6. South Africa: The capital of this country is Pretoria.

7. Romania: Dracula’s home, Transylvania, is in this country.
Monday’s Quizzlers is……….

Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.

Example: EVER – ______ – HORN

Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN

1. GRAND – _________ – OUT

2. QUARTER – ___________ – MIND

3. HAIR – _______________ – FIRE

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com.,

http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/

http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.