Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

WELCOME to Friday April 27, 2012. Famous Movie Quotes (The First Drafts).

The Godfather: “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse. Well, he can
refuse it, of course. I just know that if someone were to make me an offer
like this, I’d jump all over it. But who am I to impose my feelings on someone else?”

The Terminator: “I’ll be back. Do you need anything while I’m out?”

Dirty Harry: “You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? I ask myself
that every day, and you know what? I feel so very lucky. Loving family, steady work…”

Taxi Driver: “You talkin’ to me? You talkin‘ to me? You talkin‘ to me? Sorry, it looked
like you were talkin‘ to me. My mistake.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great weekend people, try
enjoying your day, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A New Mexico company has petitioned the federal government to become
the first U.S. business to offer horse meat for human consumption. You can
get horse meat on the menu in some restaurants now. So if you’re in
Albuquerque, avoid the Philly Cheese Steak.” -Jay Leno
“According to a new study, ladies and gentlemen, you can improve your memory
by watching less TV, doing crossword puzzles, eating more fish
I can’t remember all that.” –Dave Letterman
“The Megamillions story is getting interested. The married couple in their
60s who won the Megamillions lottery says they giggled about it for hours,
and by giggle they mean nervously plotted to murder each other.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Bob hadn’t been to a class reunion in twenty years. When he walked into this
latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner, so he approached
her and extended his hand in greeting, saying, “You look like Helen Brown.”
“Well,” the woman snapped back, “you don’t look so great in blue, either!”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???
‘Well I ain’t sorry for you no more, ya crazy, psalm-singing, skinny old maid!’
Answer: The African Queen

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???
‘Chin up, darling… both of them.’

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Oxy the Moron set out into the world and learned a big word,
OXYMORON!!! After searching about this new word for a
some time, he came up with a teaser made especially for you!
Can you figure out which well known oxymorons these words are?
Ex) Initial facsimile = original copy

1) solitary option
2) approximately precise
3) trivial calamity
4) accurate approximation
5) authentic duplication
ANSWER: 1) only choice, 2) almost exactly, 3) minor crisis, 4) exact estimate
5) genuine imitation

Friday’s Quizzlers is……….

Which word in Group B can be added to Group A? Why?

Group A: comb, mount, strophe, tonic

Group B: acre, floor, giant, log, redo, view

 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also
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MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com.,

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http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

 

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Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

WELCOME to Thursday April 26, 2012. Pondering…..

The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it’s the scenic route.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Thursday people, try
enjoying your day, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three
thousand miles closer to globular cluster 13 in the constellation
Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist
that there is no such thing as progress.” –Ransom K. Ferm

“The trouble with our times is that the future is not
what it used to be.” -Paul Valery

“There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly

what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear

and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states

that this has already happened.” -Douglas Adams

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons.
The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half,
the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons,
recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.
Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle
the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half,
or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth,
or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument,
hitched up his mule and drove home.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???
‘The poor dope – he always wanted a pool. Well, in the end, he got himself a pool.’
Answer: Sunset Blvd. Said by Joe Gillis.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???
‘Well I ain’t sorry for you no more, ya crazy, psalm-singing, skinny old maid!’

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Below are five band names and one of each of their songs. However, they have been rephrased
and it is your job to figure them out.

1. Blue and yellow in a period after night sings “Avenue containing shattered nighttime fancies”.
2. “Numerically” also, the 21st letter of the alphabet sings “A sensation of dizziness”.
3. Illuminated sight organs sings “A chemical substance that can injure or kill”.
4. Involuntary shutting and opening of the eye #91 doubled sings “Merry-go-round”.
5. The thankful deceased sings “Carton of condensation”.

ANSWER: 1. Green Day sings “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”. 2. U2 sings “Vertigo”.
3. Bright Eyes sings “Poison”. 4. Blink 182 sings “Carousel”. 5. The Grateful Dead sings “Box of Rain”.

Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….

Oxy the Moron set out into the world and learned a big word, OXYMORON!!! After searching about

this new word for a some time, he came up with a teaser made especially for you!

Can you figure out which well known oxymorons these words are?

Ex) Initial facsimile = original copy

1) solitary option

2) approximately precise

3) trivial calamity

4) accurate approximation

5) authentic duplication

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list

and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

WELCOME to Wednesday April 25, 2012. Alturnative uses for Peanut Butter!
* Feed large globs of it to your dog for cheap entertainment.

* Mix it with egg whites and ammonia to see if it takes out stains.

* Plug holes in your paneling walls.

* Save it up so you will have plenty during your retirement years.

* Make “Cream of Peanut Butter” soup.

* Put it in the bell of your brass instrument to make interesting new sounds.

* Coat the lower half of your bicycle with it. Ride around town so everyone will think you were riding in the mud.

* Two words: eye shadow.

* Let it dry out and use it as silly putty.

* New Olympic Event: PB Swimming.

* Use it as “heavy” ammo for your Super Soaker 11000.

* See how much of it your vacuum cleaner can handle.

* One word: Gargle.

* No shaving cream? No problem!

* Get that tan you always wanted.

* Color it. Use it in place of Play-Doh.

* Get out your alchemy set and try to turn it into gold.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Wednesday people, try enjoying your day, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”
– Steven Wright

“Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content.”
– Louis L’Amour

“Magnificent promises are always to be suspected.”
– Theodore Parker

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a
very attractive woman behind him said, “Hello!” Her face was beaming. He gave her that
“who are you look,” and couldn’t remember ever having seen her before. Then, noticing his
look, she figured she had made a mistake and apologized. “Look,” she said “I’m really sorry
but when I first saw you, I thought you were the father of one of my children,” and walked
out of the store. The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, “What is the world
coming to? Here is an attractive woman who can’t keep track of who fathers her children!”
Then he got a little panicky. “I don’t remember her,” he thought, but MAYBE..during one of
the fraternity parties he had been to when he was in college, perhaps he did father her child!
He ran from the store and caught her in the parking lot and asked, “Are you the girl I met at a
party in college and then we had a little too much to drink and spent the night together but I
never called you again afterward?”

“No”, she said with a horrified look on her face. “I’m your son’s Sunday School teacher.”

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘No. No, Mother, I have not been drinking. No. No. These two men, they poured a whole bottle of bourbon
into me. No, they didn’t give me a chaser.’ Answer: North by Northwest.Said by Roger Thornhill.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘The poor dope – he always wanted a pool. Well, in the end, he got himself a pool.’

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Using a combination of letters and/or numbers to sound out the answers, can you solve the clues? (The first one is free)

1. Not difficult – EZ (Easy)
2. Unoccupied
3. To do better than others
4. Defeated
5. A number (use only letters for this one)
6. A sport
7. Freezing
ANSWER: 2. MT (Empty) 3. XL (Excel) 4. B10 (Beaten) 5. AT (Eighty) 6. 10S (Tennis) 7. IC (Icy)

Wednesday’s Quizzlers is……….
Below are five band names and one of each of their songs. However, they have been rephrased and it is your job to figure them out.

1. Blue and yellow in a period after night sings “Avenue containing shattered nighttime fancies”.

2. “Numerically” also, the 21st letter of the alphabet sings “A sensation of dizziness”.

3. Illuminated sight organs sings “A chemical substance that can injure or kill”.

4. Involuntary shutting and opening of the eye #91 doubled sings “Merry-go-round”.

5. The thankful deceased sings “Carton of condensation”.

 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also
if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send
an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

 

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday April 24, 2012.  
I find it amazing that life moves as fast as it does! Somebody once said that if a man thinks the same at the age of 50 as he did at the age of 20, then he has wasted 30 years of his life. Although I do have some friends or should I say associates who still do the same thing that we used to 30 years ago, I have learned to embrace and enjoy life! It’s just too short to not enjoy the beauty of living! Given the choices that we face on a daily basis; either wake up and live or not! I’m gonna embrace the waking up part every single day for the rest of my life. Thats my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Tuesday people, try enjoying your day, and whatever you  do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Health experts have named Mississippi the fattest state in the Union. The state bird of Mississippi?
The fried chicken.” -Jay Leno

“This week in New Zealand, a man who lost his wedding ring in the ocean found it in the water over a year
later. The man says the most amazing thing about the story is that his wife fell for it.” -Conan O’Brien

“Philadelphia has a new plan to ticket pedestrians who text without looking up while they walk. As opposed to the previous punishment: lamp posts.” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Ever wonder what medical personnel scribble on those clipboards attached to the foot
of the bed? Here are some incredible comments taken from hospital charts:
“The patient refused autopsy.”

“The patient has no previous history of suicides.”

“She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.”

“She is numb from her toes down.”

“Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.”

“Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘Guns don’t kill people – postal workers do.’  Answer:The Mexican. A bad, bad movie with Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt,
and James Gandolfini.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘No. No, Mother, I have not been drinking. No. No. These two men, they poured  a whole bottle of bourbon
into me. No, they didn’t give me a chaser.’

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words,
one front-ended and one back-ended.
Example: EVER – ______ – HORN Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN 1. BREAD – _________ – CAKE 2. WATER – _________ – READ 3. CHECK – _________ – LESS

ANSWER:1. BREAD – FRUIT – CAKE 2. WATER – PROOF – READ 3. CHECK – POINT – LESS

Tuesday’s Quizzlers is………. Using a combination of letters and/or numbers to sound out the answers, can you solve the clues? (The first one is free)
1. Not difficult – EZ (Easy) 2. Unoccupied 3. To do better than others 4. Defeated 5. A number (use only letters for this one) 6. A sport 7. Freezing

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also

if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Monday April 23, 2012.  Make Women Happy: FINALS

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system:

HER BIRTHDAY
* You take her out to dinner…………….0
* You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar….+1
* Okay, it is a sports bar……….-2
* And it’s all-you-can-eat night….+3
* It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team……-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
* Go with a pal…………………….+4
* The pal is happily married…………+5
* Or frighteningly single……………-7
* And he drives a Ferrari……………-10
* With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)……..-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
* You take her to a movie……………+2
* You take her to a movie she likes…..+4
* You take her to a movie you hate……+6
* You take her to a movie you like……-2
* It’s called Death Cop 3……………-3
* Which features Cyborgs that eat humans….-9
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans…..-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
* You develop a noticeable pot belly………….-15
* You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of  it………………………….+10
* You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy  Hawaiian shirts…….-30
* You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.”……-800
THE BIG QUESTION (a no win question)
* She asks, “Do I look fat?”
* You hesitate in responding…..-10
* You reply, “Where?”…………-35
* Any other response………….-20
COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem:
* You listen, displaying a concerned expression…… 0
* You listen, for over 30 minutes………………..+5
* You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the  TV…………………………….+100
* She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep….-200
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post. – George Bernard Shaw

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. – George Bernard Shaw

With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed  inflammation of the sentence structure and

definite hardening of the paragraphs. -James Thurber

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.Thinking he’d try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said “Just hit the ball toward  the flag on the first green.” The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.  “Now what?”, the fellow asked the speechless pro. “Uh… you’re supposed to hit the ball into the cup” the pro finally said,  after he was able to speak again. The retiree replied, “Oh great! NOW you tell me!”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???
‘You are really on my very last nerve. You are a mind-boggling pain in my  rear end.’ Answer: U.S. Marshalls. Tommy Lee Jones, Wesley Snipes, and Robert Downey Jr. all star in this great movie.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???
‘Guns don’t kill people – postal workers do.

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
You are an expert on paranormal activity and have been hired to locate a spirit
haunting an old resort hotel. Strong signs indicate that the spirit lies behind one
of four doors. The inscriptions on each door read as follows:
Door A: It’s behind B or C Door B: It’s behind A or D Door C: It’s in here Door D: It’s not in here
Your psychic powers have told you three of the inscriptions are false, and one is true.
Behind which door will you find the spirit?
ANSWER:The spirit lies behind Door D.
If the spirit is behind Door A, then both B and D are true.
If the spirit is behind Door B, then both A and D are true.
If the spirit is behind Door C, then A, C, and D are all true.
If the spirit is behind Door D, then the statements on all the doors are false, except for that on Door B. This matches the rules, and therefore, the resort hotel spirit lurks behind Door D.Smile with tongue

Monday’s Quizzlers is………. Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.
Example: EVER – ______ – HORN Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN
1. BREAD – _________ – CAKE 2. WATER – _________ – READ 3. CHECK – _________ – LESS

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also

if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday April 20, 2012.  Make Women Happy; Part 1: Duties at Home. 

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES* You make the bed ………………..+1

* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows…. 0

* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets……………….-1

* You leave the toilet seat up………….-5

* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty………… 0

* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex…-1

* When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom………..-2

* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings…..+5

* in the snow……………+8

* but return with beer……….-5

* and no liners………………..-25

* You check out a suspicious noise at night……. 0

* You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing………… 0

* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something……….+5

* You pummel it with a six iron………..+10

* It’s her cat…………………….-40 (Sorry Carrie!LOL!)

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you  do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A new report found that high schools across the country are not doing enough to teach kids about safe sex. But on the bright side, it looks like we’re getting a fifth season of ‘Teen Mom.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“It’s a great day if you like paying your taxes. It is your patriotic duty. If nobody paid taxes, imagine what the country would be like. America would be flat broke. All right, we’d be more flat broke.” -Craig Ferguson

“In case you’re wondering where your tax dollars go, 21 percent goes to Medicare and Medicaid, 20 percent to social security, 20 percent to defense spending, and the other 39 percent they squander.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The “friends and survivors” of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed
metaphors and posted them on their web site:
“He swept the rug under the carpet.”
“She’s burning the midnight oil at both ends.”
“It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire.”
“It’s time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard.”
“She’s robbing Peter to pay the piper.”
“He’s up a tree without a paddle.”
“Beware my friend…you are skating on hot water.”
“Keep your ear to the grindstone.”
“Sometimes you’ve gotta stick your neck out on a limb.”
“Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter.”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘Oh, great. You get the girl, I get the coroner.’  Answer: L.A. Confidential. Said by Kevin Spacey.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘You are really on my very last nerve. You are a mind-boggling pain in my  rear end.’

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Each sentence below contains a word that can be anagrammed to answer or describe the sentence. Example: Craft that might tip in the ocean.Answer:  Canoe (Anagram of ocean) 1. You cover a mattress with one of these 2. Dangerous thing for an alcoholic to begin 3. Feature on which a tire might be rated 4. Feeling about a poisonous adder 5. Weapon that a cavalryman bears 6. It doesn’t necessarily bring rain, but it could.    ANSWER: 1. Sheet  2. Binge  3. Tread  4. Dread 5. Sabre or Saber  6. Cloud

Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
You are an expert on paranormal activity and have been hired to locate a spirit
haunting an old resort hotel. Strong signs indicate that the spirit lies behind one
of four doors. The inscriptions on each door read as follows:
Door A: It’s behind B or C Door B: It’s behind A or D Door C: It’s in here Door D: It’s not in here
Your psychic powers have told you three of the inscriptions are false, and one is true.
Behind which door will you find the spirit?

LaughTongueLaughSadConfused HATS OFF MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING TODAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY!

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also

if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday April 18, 2012.  10 words that should exist…

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the  bathtub
tap on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of  running
over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over  and picking it up,
examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum  one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of confection  (lollipop) you dropped
on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow  ‘remove’ all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon’iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one  armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto  the dust pan and keeps
backing a person across the room until he finally decides  to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak’ to man gyu lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the “open  here” spout
on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the ‘illegal’  side.

7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole  purpose seems to be walking
around asking diners if they want fresh ground  pepper.

8.PHONESIA (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and  forgetting whom you
were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup’kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses  its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of always letting  the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six  inches away. That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you  do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
A good, real, unrestrained, hearty laugh is a sort of glorified internal  massage, performed rapidly and automatically.  It manipulates and revitalizes corners and unexplored crannies of the system that are unresponsive to most  other exercise methods.  ~Author unknown, from an editorial in New-York Tribune, quoted in Quotations for Special Occasions by Maud van Buren.

Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing.  ~Ken  Kesey

It is bad to suppress laughter.  It goes back down to your  hips.  ~Author Unknown

It was not a laugh but merely a loud smile. ~Author Unknown

If you are too busy to laugh, you are too busy. ~Proverb

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child  wrote the following.”We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to  live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to  Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people. “They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They  ride around on big tricycles and wear nametags because they don’t know
who they  are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have  got it fixed, because it is all right now. They play games and do exercises there, but they don’t do them very well.  There is a swimming pool,
too, but they all jump up and down in it with their  hats on. I guess they don’t know how to swim.

At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. He  watches all day so nobody can
escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then they go  cruising in their golf carts. My Grandma used to bake
cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody  there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the
same thing every night: Early Birds. Some of the people can’t get past the man in the dollhouse to go out.
So  the ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center and call it  potluck. My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I  should work hard so I can be retarded some day, too. When I earn my retardment I  want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out so they can  visit their grandchildren.”

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
My lady, the tide waits for no man, but I swear it would wait for you.’ Answer: Shakespeare in Love Said by Lord Wessex

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘Oh, great. You get the girl, I get the coroner.’

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What does this rebus mean?
Lies Fear Lies
ANSWER: Paralyze with fear  (Pair of lies with fear)

Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….
Each sentence below contains a word that can be anagrammed to answer or describe the sentence.
Craft that might tip in the ocean.  Answer:  Canoe (Anagram of ocean)
1. You cover a mattress with one of these 2. Dangerous thing for an alcoholic to begin 3. Feature on which a tire might be rated 4. Feeling about a poisonous adder 5. Weapon that a cavalryman bears 6. It doesn’t necessarily bring rain, but it could

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers; Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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