Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday February 24, 2012.  Confucius Says:       

He who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep.

Eunuch not strange creature, just man cut out to be bachelor.

Man who dream of eating giant mushroom—wake up with no pillow.

Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.

He who put face in fruit drink get punch in the nose.

Butcher who backs into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.

Chemist who fall in acid, absorbed in work.

Man become old when he watch food instead of waitress.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a wonderful weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.

Life is just a phase you’re going through…you’ll get over it.

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you’re still a rat.

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Tiger Woods is to golf. She designed exotic patterns with ease. There was an occasion when we had lunch in a real Chinese restaurant (only one person spoke partial English, all menus were in Chinese). When she saw the hand-written menu she was so impressed with the calligraphy she tucked the menu in her purse. Some months later I saw the result, a stunning white sweater with the Chinese symbols hand-stitched down the front. She received compliments galore until one cocktail party when we met a distinguished Chinese physician who asked my wife where she got the symbols. He then wanted to know if she knew what they meant. “I’m afraid to ask,” she said, “but tell me anyway.” Even she had to laugh when he told her they read, “This is a cheap dish–but good.”

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘Give me a milk. Chocolate.’  Answer: Back to the Future. This is said by George McFly (Crispin Glover) in  ‘Back to the Future’.

Fridays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!’

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Thursday’s Quizzler is………. Fill in the blanks with four words, such that the first and the fourth are the same, while the second and the third are homonyms. A jailer _ _, and a jeweler _ _.

ANSWER: A jailer watches cells, and a jeweler sells watches.

 

Friday’s Quizzlers is……….

Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.
Example: EVER – ______ – HORN Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN
1. FORE – __________ – HOOD 2. WOOD – __________ – FALL 3. GOLD – __________ – LAYER
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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